Today, for my 15 minutes of silence, I didn’t have to venture into “the silent room” because I dragged my favorite rocking chair into the TV room to watch two hours of American Idol last night. Now, just muting the TV wasn’t going to work. I had to actually shut it off. Shutting off the picture gave me a strange feeling – almost like I didn’t want the people on the screen to leave me, but I had no choice – it just wouldn’t be 15 minutes of silence with them there in the room with me. (even though they wouldn’t be making any sound, they weren’t silent) I shut the Telly off and settled into my chair to read my daily meditations.
Then I sat there, just feeling what I was feeling. I realized it was fear – fear was what I felt when it came time to turn off the TV.Fear of being totally and completely alone. Fear of what the silence might tell me…..
And so, as another day goes by, fear ended my 15 minutes of silence today, and ….I have written.
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