Today I write about awareness because awareness could’ve saved my mother’s life. She could still be here on this earth enjoying life with my dad and her children and grandchildren, but because thirty years ago there was no awareness about a terrible disease that eventually killed her, she is not.
Last night I went to a FAA (Food Addicts Anonymous) informational meeting in support of a friend who’s journey has been losing close to 200 lbs since 2008. As I sat there and listened to the speakers tell their stories – including a delightful young man who is in a rockband and tours with the likes of Hootie and the Blowfish – I saw my mother’s life being laid out in front of me. One lady talked about the Weight Watchers and Metrical diets of the sixties and that’s exactly where my mother was at that time.
Food has been my mother’s nemesis all her life. Everyday was a battle against weight and food. Back then people just told you you were fat and it was all your own fault. They scoffed at obesity being an addictive, debilitating disease equitable with the likes of drugs and alcohol. No one, not then, and not many now, know food is another addictive substance to abuse.
My mother was almost 400 lbs when she passed away three years ago. In her last year of life I spent a lot of time with her trying to help her manage food. One time she said she needed me there everyday to do it. Come to find out, the people in this program have someone with them everyday telling them what to eat and when to eat it. My mom so needed that, but we had no idea food addiction works the same twelve steps alcoholics use.
For years, since we were young, my mother used to tell my sister and I, shaking her finger at us, “Don’t you girls ever get like me!” We didn’t. It was ingrained in our minds to be mindful everyday of how we handled food. For me, food has always governed my life. I learned the tools to cope with food addiction by trial and error – never dreaming this was a disease – or an actual addiction. Last night I found out that just like a child of an alcoholic, I was the child of a food addict and prone to the same disease. I knew for years if I let down my “food guard” for a minute, I would become my mother. When I spent three months in a chair back in 2011 due to depression over losing her and someone else, I gained 35 lbs in just 12 weeks. Never again can I let my guard down or my children will be caring for a 400 lb mother in the future.
The most asked question at the meeting last night was: How do I know I’m a food addict? Here is a list of behaviors. If you are a food addict, you will see yourself this list.
I see myself in this list. I so know I am a food addict, but my mother saved me from the inevitable fait long ago.
Awareness. The bullying of our overweight youth needs to stop. Schools and colleges need to become aware of this addiction. Overweight and obese people need to know it is not their fault. They have an addiction that needs to be dealt with. If you, or anyone you know fits this profile, please go to www.foodaddicts.org to get help. Lives can be changed through this organization. My mother’s could have…if only we’d KNOWN. Help spread the word.
And so, as another day goes by, “Hi, my name is Linda, and I am a food addict,” and…I have written.
Incredibly honest blog today, my dear friend. Live one day at a time.