“When was the last time you told your story?” – Question put to the sick by a Native American Medicine Man.
If that was a question put to the sick, it leads me to think that “telling one’s story” is somehow healing. This must be why, when someone sees us hurt or struggling or having a rough time, they always ask us if we want to talk. Talking about our problems heals us. When I am very hurt or upset, I need to talk about it over and over, even if I can’t fix it or solve it. I need to talk about it to the point where people are tired of hearing about it.
I used to wonder why I felt compelled to keep bringing it up. Even I was sick of talking about it, still one more time. Then, this morning, I read a meditation that made so much sense. It said:
“Stories are like mini time capsules. They carry pieces of meaning and truth over time. The meaning waits like a dry ration; only by the next telling does it enlarge and soften, and become edible.” ~ Mark Nepo
Now I understand my need for the constant talking about something. Every time I talk about it, I find more clarity. I’ve often thought that when I’m trying to work through a difficult time, keeping it inside my head just makes it hurt more, confuse me, and make it difficult to heal. I remember a time when I was going through a long, drawn out time of difficulty that couldn’t be fixed. Each weekend when my husband came home, he’d spend hours on Saturday night, until the wee hours of the morning, just listening to me go on and on. Though it was hard on him, each week I could feel forward movement. I was slowly talking my way out of the fog. After many months, the need to do that disappeared. I was healing.
Nepo also wrote:
“Often we repeat stories, not because we are forgetful or indulgent, but because there is too much meaning to digest in one expression. So we keep sharing the story that presses on our heart until we understand it all.”
I can’t thank my husband enough for all those late nights and endless patience as we went over the same story again and again. It is in a large part, because of those retellings, that I am healed and in a new place today. If you have a friend or relative who you want to say, “Oh no, not again” when you see them coming, stop and think twice before you turn away or put them off. You have a chance to do something great for someone and all it requires you to do is sit still and listen, one or maybe one hundred times more. Just by listening you may be contributing to someone’s healing of a very broken heart. You are giving them the chance to find clarity and move themselves foreword, just by listening “one more time”.
And so, as another day goes by, I give gratitude for my husband, family, and those friends who never turned a deaf ear in my hours and hours of need, I will always be there for them, should they need it, and…I have written.
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