It felt so great this morning to have everything back to normal – power on, cleanup done. My husband left for NY and I grabbed my yoga gear and….snap…the power went off again. No biggie. I'll just go to fit club and it'll probably be back on when I get home. I switched gear and got into the car. The car wouldn't start. Called my husband. He was going to turn around and come back, but I got it started myself. I left for fit club, hoping it would start again afterward.
I had a great workout, the car started like normal (we should've started it over the weekend) and I headed home. Still no power. Okay, it was only noon. I ate lunch, read the paper, and decided to sleep my way through the power outage. Woke up. Still no power. This was getting scary because although I can hook up the generator, I can't wire it to the furnace like my husband did. Fear crept in. It was just then I got news that a dear friend's husband suddenly passed away. I called my husband and was tearfully telling him the news and he was telling me how to get the generator going, when snap…the power came back on. Relief amongst my sadness.
After hanging up with him, I spent some time in quiet prayer for my friend and her family. A bit of fear of loss began to slink around the backside of my brain. No, I wasn't going down that road again. It came across Facebook that the 6 pm yoga class was back on. That's what I needed. I excused myself from my blog meeting and headed to yoga instead.
Turns out it was the best choice. I had 90 minutes with just me in my corner, my mind and body both kept busy, the heat and the rhythm of the practice freed me of the fear of loss I was beginning to obsess about. I had time during savasana to look at the familiar dots in the ceiling that formed the cross that comforted me everyday during that fight for the last two years. It was like going home in time of trouble.
My faith is strong, but I also remembered God gave us the gift of free will. He also gives us tools here on Earth to deal with difficult times. I had to exercise my free will and use the tools. Tonight yoga was the tool and I had to make the choice to go in order to ward off the anxiety to be able to spend time asking God to go be with my friend and her family without getting myself all twisted up in my own battle with fear.
Don't be the guy who drowned in the flood. Remember him? He got the phone call to evacuate and he refused, saying he would wait for The Lord to rescue him. The water crept up to his first floor and a rescue boat came. Again he refused, stating he would wait for The Lord. The water rose to his second floor, so he sat on the roof and a helicopter came to rescue him. Once again, he refused the help, saying he's waiting on The Lord. He drowned. When he got to heaven he asked God why he didn't come and rescue him when he prayed for help. God said, "I called you and sent you a boat and a helicopter, what else did you want me to do?"
Don't be that guy. Exercise your gift of free will and use the tools God provides in time of difficulty.
And so, as another day goes by, RIP Glenn Aery, may God bless my dear friend Roxy and the whole family and provide the tools they need to get through this, I'm thinking of all of you, and…I have written.
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