Today is Mother’s Day. If I remember correctly, my mother never let me wallow in self-pity. It was always “pull up your boot straps, stop sniveling, and get on with it!”. Last year, on this day, I was beginning my first steps of recovery from my unexpected loss of her, so I dedicate this post to her.
Today I’m sitting on my beach, sipping wine, reading Jillian Michaels book “Unlimited”. Unlimited. That’s how I feel about my life now, one year later. Last year on this day I could barely walk to the beach, much less read a motivating book here. I think I spent the whole day crying in between doing yard work. What a difference a year of yoga, bible study, writing, and making wonderful new friends has made.
All during this amazing year of self-renewal and recovery, something was nagging at the back of my mind. There was a need for something more. This was a great life, but, let’s face it, I’m only 58 and it certainly is a long way from over for me. The writing is settling into place and I know I will always be a writer simply because, as you know if you follow this blog, I ALWAYS have something to say. But writing is my art form. Not a job. I feel the need for a job, now, one that makes a little money, but more than that, one that motivates me to try something new and help others along the way. As I mentioned yesterday, a new prospect has emerged on my horizon. I’m a bit nervous, a little scared, but A LOT curious of just what I’m capable of. Many of you, when you retire from your present career, will understand this right away. You spent your entire life in one segment of the work world. When you leave you suddenly get a little disoriented, but then you look around and start to wonder “What else am I capable of doing? Is there some other thing I’d actually be good at, but didn’t know it all these years being locked in your present job and raising your family?”
Interesting questions, and ones that I’ve been pondering in the here and now ending of my “recovery period”. I’m ready to enter the real world again. I get a feeling it’s going to be a hell of a ride and I should hang on! That’s okay. I’m definitely ready, especially when I think back to last Mother’s Day – if you mentioned the word “job” to me I’d practically would’ve curled up into a ball and cried.
So Mom – here I am. Pulling up my boot straps just like I saw you do so many times over the years raising us four kids. You never curled up into a ball. In fact, you even reached out and helped other family members who couldn’t seem to get it together. Yes, Mom, you were an inspiration and you left me too soon for me to be able to tell you. Rest in peace. Watch over me, sis, and the bros. Don’t worry – we’re taking good care of dad. Love you, Mom.
And so, as another day goes by, we are taught valuable life truths by our parents’ example, and ….I have written.
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