Last night’s yoga class was extremely hard for me because I was severely dehydrated from my weekend. In all the hustle n’ bustle of moving my daughter I was not conscientious of the amount of water I did not drink. Knowing I was going to have the same teacher today and was once again going to be pushed beyond my max, I made sure that didn’t happen again. In class this morning, my friend next to me quit some of the floor poses abruptly and the instructor asked if she was okay. She said she had a cramp in her calf. The instructor said it was not enough potassium. If you get leg and toe cramps, it’s a sign you need to replace potassium.
Lying there in savasana, it struck me how much everything we cannot do inside that studio points out something we are doing or not doing outside the studio, and vice versa. The panic attacks I get when the humidity rises show me just how much I let my mind get away with. As soon that happened last night, I immediately thought, practice gently, move very slow going in and out of each posture, waste no energy on extra or fast movements, and this resulted in normal breathing, and the panic subsided.
Over the weekend when we were all tired and still had much to do, I felt myself going to a place I always defaulted to – snapping at everyone and feeling sorry for myself because I’m tired and just want to quit. This time as soon as that feeling came over me, I reacted the way I do to panic attacks in the studio. I immediately reigned it in, regained composure, took back control of my mind and relaxed. It was a defining moment. It turned my night around and made life easier for everyone else. I ended up staying the night and taking the pressure off – which I would’ve ended up doing anyway. The result would’ve been the same, but only after a lot being upset and then wasting more time calming down.
Everyone says “Do yoga. It centers you.” What they don’t tell you is it takes over a year of working with yourself in a completely private place, away from the rest of your world, to even begin to know what that means. It takes a whole lot of self-study to have everything emanate out from within you, instead of being a defensive, knee-jerk reaction to everything coming toward you.
And so, as another day goes by, I find taking the time to learn who I am is sometimes uncomfortable, but it definitely is the road to a more peaceful existence, and….I have written.
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