This week a huge black fan appeared on the back wall of the yoga studio. On the first day the teacher turned it on and the sound of a jet engine approaching, but never landing, unnerved me. She turned it on and off a few times and I just shook it off as an annoyance that will go away. The second day she used it again, although not quite as long. I began to become aware of the air flow. It took a long time for any of it to reach my corner opposite the black monster. Then, the teacher opened the window next to me while the fan was on and it seemed to take any air that was coming in from the window and scoop it up to the ceiling.
On the third day, I went to the 6pm class and the teacher was a visiting teacher and she didn’t use it. It was nice in the room and I don’t think there was any need to move any air. The fourth day the teacher used it only briefly during the savasana and I had a chance to think about this whole fan idea. Knowing myself, in time I won’t even know its there. I’ll become accustomed to it just as I have with everything else in the room that I can’t control.
That’s when the lesson of the fan hit. I realized that I will never have a say in whether or not the fan is used, so it will quickly became a non-issue. On the other hand, moving my mat and changing my spot is something I can control and it, just as quickly, became an issue. Have I finally learned to accept the things I cannot change and wrangle with the things I can? And, am I growing the wisdom to know the difference? One can only hope hope to master the Serenity Prayer in their lifetime.
And so, as another day goes by, the appearance of the fan revealed some more of myself to me, so, yes, I am a “fan”, and…I have written.
Great post. It is so much easier to let go of things you can’t control. i admit, it took me about 3X on the fan but now I’m used to it.
The mat, well you know if i came in late and there was only a few spots left, it would not stress me out. I just like lessening the decisions in my life. Have too many as it is. so no decision on the mat, just a warm comfortable place.