Back in high school I read My Antonia by Willa Cather. It’s funny, I don’t even remember the what the story was about, but I can picture the mint green cover and can still smell the library book odor. The book made a mark on me and impacted me enough to be able to see it and smell it in my mind after all these years, without even being able to recount the storyline.
Today a quote by Willa Cather scrawled across my desk:
“There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.”
Now I remember. Oh not the storyline, but Willa Cather’s way with words. She said things in such ways that they meant something to a fifteen year old. (and in the midst of a story that took place in the 1800’s, no less) This quote defines the way changes take place within me. I learn facts, skills, and theories best in calm, but if I am to learn anything that actually changes who I am, the course of my life, or causes an emotional shift within, for me, it is always learned in storm.
Storm destroys and breaks down. New learning that is to become part of one’s make up usually grows from the destruction of one storm or another. (at least in me it does). During times of calm, things that enhance my current life are learned. Learning to play the guitar, draw, paint, and write, are, for me, learned in a calm, non-threatening, environment. But things such as depending on my higher power, being still, giving gratitude, being custodial with all God has given me, and practicing deference, are better learned through a storm – you know – like when God says no, I stamp my feet, and we fight until I finally go limp and let Him do it.
He lays something on my heart for months and I resist it, thinking I know best, putting myself through all kinds of anxious pain. And it is only when I finally relent, that the pain goes away and I experience peaceful days. Sounds like us bringing up our children, right? And that’s why we call Him Father. God as our Father can be a comforting thing – or not. That depends on our own experiences with our fathers that shaped our concept of that role, but that is a topic for another day in the blog. Today I will just be content with Willa’s words.
And so, as another day goes by, the smell of library books in the old Perth Central School library up there on the the top floor, with the afternoon sun streaming in the windows, reminds me of why we have storms in life, and….I have written.
(seems they’ve changed the cover since then…)
Leave a Reply