Yesterday my husband was diagnosed with a heart condition known as A-fib – short for arterial fibrillation. He was put on medication and admitted to the hospital to monitor the meds. This whole process was the first experience for either of us above and beyond the common cold. Having gone through similar and more with our parents, the thought of health concerns such as these touching either of us at this point in our lives was, at the very least, terrifying. The day of tests, admitting, and notifying friends and family was not only exhausting, but left us feeling really vulnerable when we kissed goodbye last night. We were both really scared – this time for ourselves instead of our kids or aging parents. This can’t be – a heart condition? Aren’t we only like, 35?
My husband and I have never felt our ages. When our girls vacated the nest, we picked up life right back where we left it in our late twenties when our first child was born. Our fifties were passing without us ever stopping to pause and consider we weren’t 35 anymore, so – a heart condition? One of us? ( and just to be clear, we operate as one, so when something happens to one of us, it happens to both of us)
Today was much more restful, calmer, and saner. We slowly realized this is quite common to a lot of people. It’s usually easily controlled with medication, with more drastic measures usually not needed. Once the medication is adjusted properly, you can live your life. The mountain shrunk into more of a long road as the day progressed. We got more medical info and soon found out everyone we talked to knew someone with this condition.
Spending time in a hospital also allows contact with others who are much worse off than you (or your loved one). This realization causes the mountain to shrink further. It’s apparent that the technicians who come in to do the testing are well educated in running their various machines. I marveled at how they knew what to do with all the buttons and dials and screens. Once again, just being in the hands of people who know way more than you do about testing, diagnosis, and care, allows the mountain to shrink even further.
By late afternoon we were enjoying Lady Gaga on Ellen, having a great dinner (really – this hospital’s food was really good), and spent the evening playing Chess with Friends with each other on our “i things”.
Around 9 pm my husband settled in for the night and I left happier and more at peace ( except for the mad part cause he beat me at a very well-played chess match. We’ve played chess together since we were 17 and I’ve never been a good loser. We share many inside jokes over this game.) I drove home thanking God for seeing us through this – and that it is only this, as it could’ve been much worse.
And so, as another hospital day goes by, I think we can both smile at each other and say, ah, it’s “just a little a-fib”, we’ll get through it just like we’ve gotten through everything else that has cropped up over the years, and….I have written.
I’m so glad things turned out as they did. I was very worried for you both.
You are indeed a very spiritual person. Thank you for sharing your gift.