Fishing – Now I Get It

The wisdom waiting in what Churchill says is that we live like hungry fisherman: sewing and casting our nets, though we never really know what they will catch, never really know what will feed us until it is brought aboard. And the Buddhists say, to be a good fisherman, you must detach yourself from the dream of the fish. This makes whatever is caught or found a treasure.

My whole journey this year has really only been about one major thing that changed me as a person – surrendering and giving up all control to my higher power. This November’s listening exercise is teaching me about detaching from the dream of the fish in all aspects of my life, and relishing the surprises, rewards and treasures in the catch.

This summer I completed my manuscript for a children’s picture book, but was not ready or confident enough to share it at the conference I attended in August. I put it away. This fall another opportunity to share it and have my work critiqued presented itself. I just signed up, wrote out the check and mailed it without hesitation. I gave it to God and let Him take it where it should go. I detached from the dream of writing the book. After mailing the check, I forgot about it as the weeks went by. Then along about Wednesday, while I was in NY, it occurred to me the workshop was on Saturday. Really close. The nerves set in. No one has ever seen this manuscript outside of my husband, daughters, and maybe one friend. It’s a huge thing, as a writer, putting your work out there for critique for the first time. Last night at dinner, my friend Diane said she went to this particular workshop. She told me not to worry. She said they were a wonderful group of women and they would REALLY help me, and, above all, they were kind.

This morning, copies of my manuscript in hand, I nervously kissed my husband goodbye and said, “Well, here goes”. Upon arriving and meeting the four women who would be doing the critiquing of my work and that of two others, I did feel a little better. We would read our piece and then sit in complete silence and listen to the critiques. We couldn’t talk or respond. All we could do was – yes, you guessed it – LISTEN. The other two went first. They, like me, were new writers and this was also the first thing they had ever written and shared. They were just as nervous as I was.

I loved their stories and I really loved the gentle, constructive critiquing they got on their work. Then it was my turn. I nervously read my manuscript and then sat back to LISTEN. They were knowledgeable, helpful, and very encouraging. They loved my story concept and I began to breathe. I was able to take all their critiques and spend the time after lunch revising my work. Their ideas and suggestions made my work much smoother and tighter. I was really pleased with the end product and couldn’t thank them enough. They took three new writers who were stuck on step one and gave them the courage and the tools to keep going. They laid out a clear path for us to follow. Kudos to The Cape Cod Children’s Writers group.

Detach, cast the net, bring in the catch, appreciate the surprises, rewards, and treasures. By taking the month to “keep my hands out of the paint” and just listen, I feel the final pieces of surrender fall into place. I’ve become calm, complacent, and very willing to just stand quiet and not get in the ring and make things happen. The total opposite of who I used to be. I feel God is preparing me for the next phase of my life, to do important work that needs a quieter, saner individual.

And so, as another day goes by, I’m “looking forward to”instead of “fearing” tomorrow’s catch for the first time in ‘011, and ….I have written.

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