Nearing the second week of “just listening”, I have almost stopped the kicking and screaming in frustration, (almost), and gently settled into what I can only call “prayerful listening”. As I sat in my quiet time, just feeling God’s presence, letting Him read and interpret what was on my heart, I was lead to just quietly think “today I really could use a sign”. Sometimes when something weighs heavy on my heart, a sign of hope goes a long way. The difference was that today I didn’t beg or desperately demand it from God. I was listening to Him tell me to continue to trust Him – He actually said “keep your hands out of the paint”, when my need today just quietly slipped out. It was so much more heartfelt than the desperate begging. Then I went about my day. Bone scan early in Saratoga, then to the gym, still a bit downhearted.
A few days ago my husband came home from the gym late in the evening. He told me he heard a song that he thought I’d like. It was an obscure tune by an unknown artist he found on some strange radio channel he always listens to, so he knows I wouldn’t have heard it. He was guessing at the song’s name and couldn’t quite remember the artist, so I went on iTunes and put his clues together and we found the song. It was late, so I just downloaded it and said I’d listen to it the next day. Needless to say, I got busy with all the routine doctor appointments these last two days and just forgot about it.
Today at the gym, after the Born This Way cd on the elliptical, I switched to a treadmill to cool down and wanted a slow song. I suddenly remembered the song he gave me. I played it and it hit me with a wallop. By the middle of the song tears were mixed with sweat on my face and I was tempted to turn it off. I didn’t. Then the end of the song nailed me. The story in the song suddenly turned around and therein I realized was my sign of hope I had asked for earlier. I felt instant peace. I looked up at the scaffolded ceiling and just said “thank you”. As I got in my car, I just said, “Wow God”.
And so, as another day goes by, listen n’ learn is the phrase of the day, and….I have written.
* Song – 7 Stones by Lindsay Mac
* This was a quote a friend of mine left on yesterday’s post. I loved it and wanted to share it in honor of Prayer, Day 2. It sort of reminds me of the gentle motion of waves on the shore and really walks hand in hand with the song.
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