This summer I just completed a beginning drawing class. In six weeks I went from breaking out into a cold sweat when faced with putting the pencil to the paper to using crayons, pencils, pastels, and even charcoal with almost giddy excitement. I draw everything. I came to view it like child’s play and if I don’t like it I can just throw it away. (That line of thinking took the pressure off completely.) I can’t believe I was even at such ease drawing in front of the teacher and other students in the class. We had music on and I was using tools I never knew existed, blending with cotton swabs, and painting water over my creation. I actually found a place of utter relaxation and contentment in drawing.
I started out drawing on 8×10 paper. The teacher said bigger. So I graduated to 18×12. She said, “Bigger yet!”, so I opened up the 18×24. Wow. Facing such a big piece of paper was disconcerting to say the least. I had to get an easel to hold the monster. Having grown under her praise, I stood in front of the easel, sighed, and dove in. I kept my nose literally to the paper and never quite felt pleased with my work. I’d just leave it on the easel and go sit in my chair. Amazingly, when I sat in the chair across the room and looked at it, I liked it. I figured out that the paper is so huge that when I am working on it, I’m so close to it that I can’t get the total perspective. Backing away let me see all the intricate parts that I didn’t like individually put together to form “the big picture” – much more pleasing to the eye.
In life, I have also learned to back away and try to see “the big picture”. Many times my limited view kept me focused on just what was good for me and excluded what the other person needed. It’s not always about me – in fact, as soon as I back away it becomes apparent that it’s never about me and as soon as I see what the other person needs, the ego is put away. I can be what they need me to be.
And so, as another day goes by, I am once again enlightened in the art of living, and…I have written.
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