Today I came across a piece on a little different way to view patience. After six months of going to “patience school”, I have experienced and learned much. This writing asked me to look upon the result of my experience, rather than how to get through it. Again, perfect timing for the perfect message.
“Fear wants us to act too soon. But patience, as hard as it is, helps us to outlast our preconceptions.” ~ Mark Nepo
Once again I find that fear of loss was at the bottom of everything I was doing to everyone. Fear caused me to imagine situations that only existed in my head, hadn’t happened, may never happen, yet I was actively involved in trying to prevent them from happening.
At the end of the reading the two questions posed were:
How did waiting change you?
What did waiting give you?
Now, at the end of six months, it’s the perfect time to think about this. As far as changing me goes, the biggest thing patience did was to quiet me. Not only is my monkey mind quelled from making up it’s own stories, my whole persona is more serene, whereas before it was extreme. I talk quieter, and less, and listen more. I don’t react quickly when trouble erupts. I step back, think and practice a lot of deference.
As far as what waiting gave me, it gave me a new reverence for precious things. Peoples’ hearts and my relationship with God are never to be taken for granted again. Living in peace, with joy, is something to give gratitude for everyday. Waiting brought me closer to God because it was His strength I had to call on daily to make it through. Prayer became very specific. Waiting taught me to sit quietly and watch the miracles emerge and to have faith that they will. My email signature “You can never give up on the things you love. Never. ” has come alive right before my very eyes.
Waiting has become my pot of gold. Who would have ever thought so much could be gained by doing nothing – the hardest thing of all to do.
And so, as another day goes by, another mountain is moved, and…I have written.
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