Anger has not been a dominant force in my life, but lately I’ve had my share to deal with. Whenever I have felt anger, it always made me feel powerful in reaction to an event, when, in fact, the opposite is true.
Something has to happen to cause the anger to well up inside me. Someone or something had to make me feel scared or frustrated, inciting anger as a reaction to something bigger than me. When I let the anger take hold and direct my actions, I become a victim and anger results as a defense. Whenever I’m a victim, I am at my weakest. The powerful feeling anger often evokes is purely delusional, protecting me from the actual pain. The real power lies in being able to retain control and not lash out in anger when I am compromised.
Theory in tact, what’s the “how to”? How do you learn to take control when that sudden anger sweeps through your body? How do you stop and quiet yourself before you utter the first angry word? It takes a tremendous amount of mind control. I have found the mind control I practice everyday in the yoga studio, has gone a long way toward controlling anger. Day after day I suspend my body in poses it is begging to get out of. I maintain that tiger gaze into my eyes in the mirror, find stillness, and refuse to give into my mind’s constant nudging to quit the pose. I lay on my mat in savasana, wanting to move, but my eyes stay fixed on the ceiling, not even blinking, preventing movement. I have learned not to give in to my mind begging to adjust my clothing, or wipe dripping sweat, scratch itches, etc. and instead lay in profound stillness and focus.
It has taken months of daily conditioning for this mind control to kick in outside the studio at the onset of anger. Lately I have noticed that as soon as the anger strikes, I remain quiet. Most times the anger subsides faster than the situation that created it and I am able to react in a much more rational manner. It’s good to have figured this out. Both for when that angry feeling overtakes me and/or when it is directed at me.
Anger is a force that not only sweeps through me, but sweeps through the world. The news stories and talk shows are filled with topics, that while all different, have anger as their common denominator. Whether it’s a civil war in a middle-eastern country or an abused guest on Dr. Phil, anger is beneath it all. Learning to recognize anger for what it is – a weakness – not place of power, is essential to the well-being of our world, and to me, personally.
And so, as another day goes by, I will try to always remain in control and come from a place of love, and …I have written.
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