“We often give up the right to renewal to accommodate the anxieties of those around us.”
“Unfortunately, there is no escaping this underside of growth. So it is not surprising that there are many feelings peculiar to human beings that prevent us from shedding that which has ceased to work, including fear, pride, nostalgia, a comfort in the familiar, and a want to please those we love.” ~ The Awakening
Over time, who we are (or once were) can get eroded when we unknowingly spend our days giving pieces of ourselves away until there’s almost nothing left. We don’t realize it until months, even years, go by and we are a walking time bomb. Then the inevitable happens, and a great watershed washes over us and we are forever changed. Watersheds are the way of the universe telling us to stop and take care of ourselves first. We must take time to shed those old, ill-fitting skins and pay attention to getting used to our new ones, despite resistance from around us.
The Melanesians contend that this is how we lost our immortality. It was believed that human beings lived forever by shedding old skins for new, younger ones underneath, until one day an old woman left her child at home and went to the river to shed her old skin. She stood on the bank and pulled her old skin over her head and threw it in the water. She noticed it snagged on a stick. She turned and went home. When she arrived her child started crying. He didn’t recognize her new, younger self. He refused to stop crying, so the woman went back to the river and retrieved her old skin and put it back on to please her child. From that time on, human beings stopped shedding their skins and died.
I once knew a family that had two beautiful children. The mom was not well and was told not to have anymore children, or she won’t be around for the two she has. But this mom loved her children so much, she had to have one more. She was warned that this had to be her last child. She would never survive another birth. Her health continued to waver, but she loved being a mom so much, she went ahead and had a fourth child. I was absolutely dismayed by this. I had all three children in class and spent eight years with this family. I remember the day this mom brought the newborn to school and stood on the steps saying to me, “This is the last one, now I have two of each. I’m happy.” Two years later she passed away leaving a 12 year old girl to face high school without her mom, as well as three younger siblings without her there to be the amazing, loving mom I had come to know over the years. The heartbreak of this family, that maybe didn’t have to be, left a mark on my heart.
There comes a time when we must “put the oxygen mask on first”. This is not selfish. It’s self-preservation. It keeps us around to be there for those we love.
And so, as another day goes by, spring is a great time for renewal, and …I have written.
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