Growing up Catholic, sin was preached to me since I was "knee high to a grasshopper", as the saying goes. When I was seven and had to do the weekly confession/communion thing, I could never see the point. I didn't sin. Sin was a huge, ominous word. It meant doing REALLY bad things, like stealing or killing. That was definitely not me, so this not sinning thing was going to be a piece of cake.
I guess, as the years passed, I kind of held onto that thinking and never professed to being a sinner. Now don't get me wrong – I never saw myself as a perfect person, but a sinner? No. I did things wrong. I made mistakes. I had bad thoughts. But nothing that would be considered SIN and keep me out of heaven.
So why am I bringing this up now? Today I attended a women's bible study group with an author friend of mine. I thought it would help to keep my spirit intact now that I have finally righted my world and want to keep it that way. I never want to lose focus and head down depression lane again. The group is made up of wonderful women from our community and I enjoyed the morning immensely.
When the word "sin" came up, I raised my head and listened even more intently. One woman, actually a neighbor of mine, spoke up and said, "Libby, (teacher) just what constitutes sin anyway?" I found that quite interesting. We, who were gathered in that room, certainly weren't a bunch of thieves and murderers after all. The teacher struggled a bit, then talked about thoughts we might have. I instantly remembered the day I got the answer to the "sin" question and realized we, in our own ways, are all very much "sinners". It was on a bleak spring day. I was reading The Prayer of Jabez for Women and lo and behold, someone in the book asked the same question and the author promptly offered up a list of what constitutes "sin". I remember being blown over by it. It was quite an a-ha moment for me, one who thought she was sin-free since childhood. I remembered I still had the book on my phone. I raised my hand and read the list. How funny that everyone's head was nodding at each one, and the question in the book at the end of the list was, "Are you nodding your head?" Here is the list I came across:
-complain
-compare myself to others
-compromise what I know is right
-not tell the whole truth
-hold a grudge and refuse to forgive
-be critical of others
-be jealous of others
-gossip
-be discontent with what I have
-waste time
-get angry and lose control
-lash out at your kids
(Hmmm…I did notice they left off stealing and killing…) These so called sins "are intangible, invisible things that we don't always see coming, such as feelings, attitudes, and relationship issues."*
Needless to say, we, in that room all realized we deal with "sin" everyday. Even me. I experienced the realization all over again with the group, along with the fact that I think wasted a lot confession/communion time when I was seven. Now, I'm thinking there's a reason for sinning. (I still hate the word and have a hard time calling these things on the list by that word. To me, that's called being human.)
But anyway, if we never sinned, we'd never grow and move forward. Realizing sin brings me closer to God. He is patient if I'm truly sorry and willing to learn. He uses my "sins" to guide me and bring me ever closer to Him.
My conclusion is that "sin" is neither good nor bad, but a part of life that God uses to teach us in the way we should go, as long as we realize that saying sorry is not saying what we did was okay – it's saying just that – we are SORRY. It doesn't get us a "get out of jail free card" with God (or each other). It is an opportunity to grow and move forward, forgiven and guided by God's hand.
And so, as another day goes by, I never thought "sin" had a "good" side, or that I was even a "sinner", and….I have written.
*from "The Prayer of Jabez for Women" by Darlene Wilkinson.
Leave a Reply