Are you in control? That is a double-edged question. Being in control of your emotions as you move through your day, especially when you’re blindsided by those unexpected circumstances, is one side of being in control. Controlling the people and circumstances in your life so you have peace of mind that no one can mess up your world is the other side.
Side one, controlling my emotions no matter what hits me, is something I’ve been learning to do through yoga. Having to master the hot room and the changes it brings everyday, transfers to managing the things that sideline me outside the studio. Having to remain still, resisting the drinking and wiping, goes a long way to training my mind and body to not only endure, but to convert fear and frustration into peace and the power of accomplishment. This side of control works for our own good.
Moving to the other side of the question – where we want to control everything and everybody in effort to find security and escape fear, is a different matter. In bible study this morning we were presented with four scenarios and were told to pick the one we’d fear the most and the one we’d fear the least. The scenarios were:
1. Landing in a commercial airline during a heavy storm
2. Undergoing an outpatient surgical procedure
3. Riding in the passenger seat of a car while someone else drives
4. Losing you job because of factors beyond your control
The winners were:
Feared most: # 4 Feared least # 3
Why is that? I’m my opinion, both numbers 1 & 2 we would have absolutely no control over the outcome. We know that before we even get into that situation that we can’t have any part in landing a plane safely or making the surgery come out okay, so we give up all control before we even start, releasing a lot of fear. Number 3 we do so much, that we’re used to it. The more you do something, the less you fear it, and again, give up all desire to control it. But number 4 – that’s a situation all it’s own, because you always feel you can change it somehow. If your brain even sees one little tiny thing that you can still do to change the situation, you will not give up full control. You will persist as long as you can see a possible way, even if your efforts are futile.
The more you feel you can control something, the more you’ll worry and drive yourself crazy trying because you fear losing it. Yesterday I wrote about trying every single thing you possibly can to control an outcome, until there is nothing left to do, but just stand before God and give the outcome totally to him.
How great it would be if we could do that in every situation BEFORE we drive ourselves crazy trying to control everything. We are only in control of the things God entrusts us to watch over and care for. We are never in control of our destiny or the destiny of others. As Andy Stanley said this morning, as soon as you find yourself doing the “if I do this, he/she will do that” thing, you have just proclaimed yourself as someone trying to control things you have absolutely no control over – and no business trying to.
We can go about it two ways: one, fight and try to control everything and force God to grab us by the shirt collar and get our attention, or, two, simply resolve to live our life letting God control the outcomes. Believe me, the first way is no fun, but absolutely necessary if we won’t surrender all control. Just like the hot room, the more you drink, fan, and wipe, the more you’ll feel sick, out of breath, and like fainting. As soon as you stop fighting both God and the hot room, life suddenly becomes peaceful, content and manageable, both in and out of the studio.
And so, as another day goes by, the only real control we have is we can decide how long we want to fight before we “just stand”, and …I have written.
My new phone wallpaper to remind me that:
“We can’t change the wind, but we can adjust our sails.”
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