This week is my second week of five consecutive days of yoga. This week has been particularly enlightening. Not only have I felt better than I have in months, but I think I actually lost a few pounds over the holiday weekend.
Physically I felt better, but even more so mentally. One of my friends, who just came back to regular practice today, remarked that being away from yoga messed up her head. I totally agree. When I skip days due to driving to NY or social functions, my thinking tends to take wrong turns. Having 9 classes in a row, save for Xmas eve and Xmas, gave me much mental and emotional peace and insight. Monday at the 4 pm class I was struggling. It was humid in the room, as it was 55 degrees here on the cape. The teacher barely gave us a window or a door. I began to panic, but all of a sudden the thought that “it’s not your battle anymore” just struck me as I was struggling not to take a knee. I immediately relaxed and began to approach the next pose with a calm sense of just sinking into it.
Everyday since, that same message kept banging at my brain, both in and out of the yoga studio. As of tonight, I’m not sure I understand it fully yet, but it brings me great peace when it sings through my mind. I feel like I’ve done my part. Learned what I needed to and conquered my fears. Now the ball is in a different court. I must relax. I must be still. And I must wait.
I’m still figuring out where this is going, but I like what I get from it. My battle this year is done. It does not belong to me anymore. My battle cry is not the traditional one of entering a battle, but one of the peace of leaving a battle.
And so, as another day goes by, it’s out of my hands – the final shedding of all I’ve been fighting for 12 months, and…. I have written.
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