Resetting the Compass – Day 18
Working with hospice patients has taught me a great deal about the “end of life”. When I began visiting my first patient I used to hate to leave her at the end of my visit. I always stopped and got my Dunkin Donuts coffee then went and settled in with her and watched Oprah. Driving home I’d often leave, thinking I have a hard time sitting for one tv show. I have a hard time doing much of anything for a very long time. I wondered how it must be to just wake up every morning just to sit in a wheel chair, beside the same bed, day after day.
One day I walked in and just being friendly I said, “Hi! So what’s going on today?” She answered, with a shrug of her shoulders, “Just sitting here waiting to die.” Needless to say that took me by surprise. Leaving that day, I felt her endless plight even more.
As the weeks went by and I made many more visits, I never forgot what she said that day. I kept looking for signs of maybe some kind of agitation over it, but I never saw any. It became apparent, over the next few months, that she had come to terms with the ending of her life – I hadn’t.
The day before Mother’s Day I was outside in my garden cutting some flowers to take to her and I got the call that she had passed. I felt sad, but I also felt tremendous peace because somehow I had come to know it was what she wanted.
I took a hiatus before taking on a new patient. During that time I had a lot of coming to terms with end of life issues to do myself. Last week I got a new patient. I went to visit her for the first time today. When I got there, her bed was empty. I knew before I asked. She passed two days ago before I even met her. The lady at the desk told me she’s in a much better place. On my way out to my car I suddenly remembered something very valuable I learned during my hiatus about facing the end of one’s life. I remember the ah..ha moment when I read the passage below.
And so, as another day goes by, still more mysteries of this life become a little clearer, and…I have written.
~ Max Lucado:
Leave a Reply