Fearing More Fear

More about the downside of the beach path…..

When you go through a traumatic time and a depression, pull out of it finally, as I did in June, you would think it’s all DOWNHILL from there. No. Sorry. It isn’t. The fear of loss, the thing I spent six months fighting off, returns now and then like that little gray cloud on the depression commercials on tv. These past few mornings I woke up with it again, and fought it throughout the day. Then, tonight, I found something that helped me tremendously. 2 Timothy 1:7 says:
“God has not given us the spirit of fear.”

I immediately switched my thinking. I said, “God, since the spirit of fear is not from you, it must be from the other guy. I refuse to believe HIS lie. Instead I choose to believe what you have said -” I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

I have to remember that I am not at the shoreline yet. It’s a slippery walk, carrying lots of beach paraphernalia, down a steep hill of hot, slippery sand. I am bound to slide and stumble. The important thing is to keep in focus that I CAN do this hard thing that God has called me to do. It involves doing the hardest thing of all – nothing.

And so, as another day goes by, I lift my eyes, I lift my eyes, and ….I have written.

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