Resetting the Compass – Day 25
It's been some day. It started off on a high note. I woke up with my cold almost gone. During my few minutes of morning meditation I felt instant joy about some decisions I made this week about changing the way I did things. It was a lovely drive up cape to my women's bible study. I was excited because we were beginning a new series today, by Andy Stanley, the guy who did the last one that helped me so much. I couldn't wait to see the new things God had planned for our small group to banter about for the next eight weeks. Upon arriving it was great to see some people I hadn't seen in awhile, and I was looking forward to lunch later on with another friend. All in all, a happy day.
The books were handed out and my joyful attitude started to waver. Oh great, we haven't even started yet and God was already beginning to tap me on the shoulder. The title of the series was Defining Moments, which I looked forward to. It was what was printed under that title that made me nervous. It said: What To Do When You Come Face to Face With The Truth. This didn't sound good. In fact, it sounded down right uncomfortable. Anyway, we watched the DVD and had a great discussion and my joyful mood was still intact when I left to meet my friend for lunch. My uneasiness quickly subsided on the beautiful drive back to Hyannis. I met my friend at a quaint little restaurant we both love. We hadn't seen each other for quite a few weeks so I was looking forward to both great food and great conversation.
We proceeded to catch each other up on the events in our lives when I said something that triggered a response from her. She looked at me and said, "Let me play devil's advocate." Oh boy, here it goes. God followed me to the restaurant and promptly took His seat right there at the table with us, even though there was no third chair. In a very nice, gentle, loving way my friend proceeded to burst my bubble of joy. She pointed out that, in fact, I hadn't accomplished what I just finished telling her I was so proud of myself for doing. I had no choice but to look her right in the eye and admit I was just lying to myself and now, today was the day, I needed to – guess what? – Face the Truth. (And she wasn't even at the bible study and I didn't even discuss it with her, so yes, God did come to lunch with us today.) We finished our food and wrapped up our visit. I told her I loved her for her honesty. She's the kind of friend everyone needs – one who gently saves you from yourself.
The drive home was less joyful than the drive there. I wasn't upset, just deeply thoughtful. I tried to remember other times in my life that I refuse to face the truth. Ah-ha. Money. My kids will laugh at this one. In our family I'm the keeper of the books. I usually don't do a bad job unless I get involved in life and just don't pay attention, in which case bills are late and accounts have a good chance of getting overdrawn. Then I usually have to go to my husband, who my kids have dubbed "our financial advisor". His MO is to say, "Lay everything out and we'll take a look at it." Well, since it isn't all neat and pretty, I don't want to lay it all out. I don't want to look at it. I will put it off until I'm in real trouble and it will be twice as hard to fix. (It's a good thing our financial advisor is smart and patient and quickly gets me back on track.) The point is, now it's worse because I refused to face it, and the financial consequences are harsher.
Those thoughts took me to the mall where I had some errands to do and about now Dunkin Donuts was looming large. I quickly shopped, sat down with my coffee and my thoughts about this "truth facing". I suddenly remembered something I learned in the DVD that morning, that in all my joyfulness, went right over my head. If we refuse to face the truth long enough, consequences will begin to reveal themselves. He really said that in the DVD and I didn't realize it until now? Oh, that's right, at lunch I was made to sit right up and face the truth and what was worse, was that just now I thought about what the consequences would be if I didn't "face up". It would be detrimental to myself and others. I would be inhibiting growth and forward movement in my journey and that of others. That's a bit worse than overdrawing my checking account and would be a lot harder to fix. I think it's going to be an interesting eight weeks.
And so, as another day goes by, we're on the cusp of a new month and that means a whole new set growing pains, and …I have written.
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