If It’s Not About Reaching The Goal…

….then what is it about?

Resetting the Compass – Day 8

It’s important to know how to set goals in life – big ones, small ones, long and short term ones, etc. I have always been a master goal setter right from my Barbie Doll days on through my career and marriage days. When I was five, Christmas was my long term goal. I wanted a “kitchen”. I wanted to be my mom. I remember having the vision of playing house in that kitchen in my head for months. In fact, I played in that kitchen so much in my mind before I got it, that when I finally did get it, I had nothing left to do in it and by the end of January my kitchen became obsolete in my toy world and I was on to setting a new goal for the following Christmas. What I didn’t realize at that young age was that during all that house playing in my mind I imprinted and taught myself how I was going to raise two babies and handle a home and a family years later.

This year my compass is pointing to less focus on the goal and more appreciation for the journey getting there – no matter how difficult it is. I’m starting in small ways. At the gym and in yoga I have begun settling in and enjoying each stretch and breath instead of focusing on “let’s get to the end of this”. When I have to drive to Hyannis for an annoying errand, I now appreciate that I can’t drive faster than 40 on the cape and I put on music and really get enjoyment out of the time it takes me to get there.

I’m hoping this thinking will translate to my long term goals – in writing, in art, in relationships, in spirituality, in weight management, etc. Though these long term journeys are difficult, I need to savor and appreciate what it takes to move through each one. I also need to appreciate what I learn and how I change when I’m stuck and spinning my wheels in my quest to achieve, conquer, finish and arrive, because, as Ursula K. Le Guin says:

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”

And so, as another day goes by, my journeys may be difficult and not always enjoyable, but this year I will learn to respect and appreciate what is happening to me along the way, and….I have written.


If It's Not About Reaching The Goal...

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