When I opened my eyes at 5am, I smelled it. The candle nightlight was softly glowing, the early news on the tv was quietly speaking of dangerous diet pills, and I felt the coolness of the air in the house on my face in the hour before the heat kicks in to raise the temperature from its nighttime setting. That’s when I smelled it. Christmas!
It was an all too familiar moment. Since I was a child, it would always show up in early December. The cold morning with the distinct smell of Christmas in the offing. In grade school it would prompt me to sing carols and make cards. In high school it would prompt me to find the perfect gift for the current boy in my life. When it struck each year as I awoke in my college dorm, it would spark the excitement that it was almost time to go home for the holidays. During all of my teaching years, it was the best day for the children in my class. I would arrive at school with materials for a fun project, completely throwing aside our daily routine and making a huge mess. When my children were little, this would be the morning I’d start telling them about Santa and his high expectations for them in the coming weeks, and in turn they would ply me with talk of of that one thing they wanted Santa to bring them. (oh for the days when a Polly Pocket meant the world)
Now, in my retirement years, it still ignites a spark within me. I walk downstairs as the heat kicks on, and thank God for my home as I lightly stroke the railing on my way down. I pass the pictures on my family wall. While making my tea, I whisper a silent prayer of thanks for the people in my life, and I ask God to be with each one today. As I settle with my tea in front of the tv, I turn on my Christmas tree and enjoy it in the early morning hour. There is something more special about the early morning dark. I am feeling the same excitement about the holiday season that I felt as a child. Yes, there are changes in my life this year. My mom will be spending the holiday in heaven, and she will be missed, but we, as a family, won’t be torn apart. I think we will just appreciate each other more. I’m thinking of our plans to return to the Cape on Xmas day early with the girls, and have our Xmas out here with them. Time to make new traditions. Plans for New Years include a trip for my husband and I, and I am beside myself with excitement over that. Oh and shopping! Friday I am going to Boston to spend the day in the city Xmas shopping with Ashley!
That’s it! I can’t sit still. The smell of Christmas has invaded my brain, and it’s only 6 am – three hours til yoga. What will I do? Music. That’s what I’ll do to contain myself. As I switch the news to VH1, and go make a cup of Xmas coffee, I am glad the excitement of the impending holidays still moves me when I wake up to the smell of Christmas. I ask God to never let me lose that as I age, and since I still have it in retirement, there’s a pretty good chance I won’t. In future years when I wake up to the familiar smell, it will probably spark excitement over Xmas with grandchildren. Yes, it truly is a wonderful life, and I am a blessed woman.
And so, as another day begins to go by, the child within me still reigns, and…I have written.
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