Jealousy…..this is a topic I have been avoiding on my journey for months. I never viewed myself as a jealous person. If anyone else alluded to me being jealous, I could never, never see how that could apply to me. Until now.
My six month journey has been about facing the fear of loss. It has taken six months to realize that’s EXACTLY what jealousy is. It’s the fear of loss. Everything that has been written about jealousy is true. It does rear it’s ugly head. And it does come from a place of severe evil. I know of several people who are still battling it, and I don’t envy them. Jealousy is the breeder of frenetic energy. It causes one to “fight constantly for” what they fear to lose. It makes one think that you are “doing good” to fight for those or that which you love. What really happens is, the harder you fight, the more you lose. The answer?
Put your arms down by your side. Look up. Give it to your higher power. Stop. Experience “the peace and understanding” only God can give. Imagine…..how much easier is it to just stand there and let God do His thing, than to constantly engage in email and texting “strategies” to manipulate those you love into doing what you want them to do. Any form of manipulation of another is totally wrong and generates negative energy. If someone is meant to be in your life, let that come from God. Not you. When you try to place someone in your life into a prescribed place you have made for them, it ends in disaster. You are not God. You don’t know God’s plan for the other person. Stop. “Tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers” – even if it’s no. Trust me, it’s a far more peaceful way of living to accept NO from God than to try to force life to go in the way YOU want it too.
Still, after more than 40 years with God, He’s not buying it that I am His assistant – no matter how many times I’ve tried to do it “my way” for Him, all these years.
And so, as another day goes by, I resort to the first thing I’ve learned on this journey – “be a vehicle for the spirit”, and ….I have written.
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