I once wrote about Julie Chen on The Talk impressing me by the things she shares about her marriage. Then, yesterday, watching an episode I DVR’d, she knocks one out of the ballpark again.
The question she threw out to the other four hosts was: What would you say is the one thing that makes your marriage as successful as it is? Out of all five hosts, once again it was Julie’s answer that got me to stand up and say “YES!”. Her answer? One word. Intention. She said, “No matter how bad it is, how bad her husband hurts or upsets her, she KNOWS beyond the shadow of a doubt, his intention was always good. Leah Remini added that this is true in any relationship – good friendships and all family relationships as well. She said, “When the chips are down, when it’s as bad as it’s ever gonna get, believing the intention was never bad or negative or meant to hurt, is what causes the relationship to weather anything.”
I find this so true in my own marriage. There are times my husband does something that hurts me or makes me sad. My first reaction is, of course, “How could you do that to me?”. Then, once I really stop and ask myself, “Do I really think he intended to do that to me?” and of course, my answer is no, the anger I feel quickly abates. Once I say in my mind or out loud – (because sometimes I do say right to him “I KNOW you didn’t set out to do that to me, but it still hurts inside”) I am immediately brought down from that level of extreme anger and can most times discuss the issue until we both feel better. “The Talk” was the perfect name for this show because it’s “the talk” that relieves the stress of an argument and moves the relationship forward.
I had written earlier about intention in my blog, Julie validates me again. Remember on myspace they used to ask you who you wish you could meet? Definitely Julie. I’m just amazed that such a high profile person could be so unaffected by the the public opinion and have such a clear outlook on life and solid values that have carried her through her career. Another words, she has her head screwed on right. Hmmmm…maybe, just maybe there’s a chance I do too. I can always hope.
And so, as another day goes by, for me, another hero rises to the top, and….I have written.
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