This morning, putting on my makeup, I noticed I was standing with all my weight on my right leg, knee totally locked. Yesterday in the grocery store I was standing in line with perfect posture and looked down to see my “feet together, toes and heels touching. At the table I found myself sitting with “all ten fingers interlaced and glued under my throat”. I sit by the tv with my feet twisted as if in eagle pose. The best one was while talking on the phone, I was in standing bow pulling pose, balancing on my locked left leg holding my right ankle in my right hand trying to see my foot up over my head in the reflection of the window across the room. The poses seem to be taking over my body subconsciously, infiltrating every part of my day, surprising me. I wonder if this means the yoga teachings are finally sinking in and taking hold? The poses are feeling natural and all my other body systems have responded with things like improved digestion, zero gastric problems, EXCELLENT deep sleep all night long, craving only healthy foods like chicken, fish, and plants, eating alot less, having little or no desire for alcohol, sugar, or caffeine, lost almost 10 pounds and have no more joint pain or sinus problems. Physically, all systems go!
Today we were helping my daughter move some furniture. I was balancing two couch cushions on my right shoulder and the walk to the door was long. My arm and shoulder started to feel uncomfortable and what did my mind suddenly do? Told me “to suck in my stomach and use my core and find stillness in the breath” while walking. The focus and determination I practice everyday in class took hold. I made it into the building and up three flights of stairs just fine. It was a pleasant surprise to have that strength come naturally out of nowhere and conquer the wimpy “I don’t think I can make it” syndrome.
Suddenly my mind possesses a tremendous power of determination. I am beginning to feel I really can do whatever I set my mind to, even if it’s hard and not what I WANT to do, but what I HAVE to do. I can push myself with a will I never felt I had. In the poses each day the instructor encourages us to go someplace we’ve never been before and not be afraid. In backward bend she always says fear is the only thing holding you back and she assures us no one’s head has ever fallen off trying to see the wall behind them. She says one day you’ll see the back of your mat. I used laugh when she said this, but ever since I have been able to squarely face the wall behind me, I think that actually may be possible.
Conquering fear and developing a relentless determination that leaves the studio with me and grows like a vine within me, showing itself in daily life situations without me having to call it up, is evidence the yoga teachings have taken over my mind and spirit, too.
I remember the first day the instructor said, “Thirty days, change your body, 60 days, change your mind, 120 days, change your life”. My only goal that day was to stay in the room, much less change ANYTHING. Now, after 90 days, I really feel the life change taking place deep inside me.
And so, as another day goes by, my sixteen week yoga review yields positive results, and…I have written.
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