This week, while in NY, I spent way more time shopping than I ever do when I’m home at the cape. (This is probably due to the fact that there are no leaves to do here.) I spent two days in two different malls. I have a long cardigan sweater that I love and wear everywhere, and it’s time I get another one. Two days, two different malls, 6 hours of shopping, and all I came home with was three pairs of socks. My daughters would not be proud. Make no mistake, I do love the socks, but in all that time spent combing the malls, why couldn’t I find a decent sweater? Because I couldn’t look for one. Every store was stuffed with inventory and Xmas sales. There was just TOO much stuff to comb through. It looked like too much work as soon as I entered each store, and after a few passes up and down the isles, I gave up and walked out of the store. At one point, I actually found a store that had a generous selection of sweaters. My hopes lifted and I started to gather up a few to take into the dressing room, but the selection went on and on. Everywhere I turned – great sweaters – lots of cardigans – and 50% off. You’d think I’d be in heaven. No. Too many to even choose 6 to try on. I left the store, walked the entire length of the mall, had a sandwich at the food court, then drove an hour back home.
It seems the longer I live, the more I see, the more I hear, the more I read, the more people I meet, the more I travel……the less I know. The more I learn, the more I see that there is that I don’t know. When I feel sad, angry, or hurt I jump to people to make me feel better. If only so and so would do this or that I’d feel so much better. Like shopping, I spend days doing this. Overwhelming myself with “if only” scenarios. Then I hear a song. Within its lyrics contain the answer that’s as simple as buying a pair of socks. After hours of searching for help to feel better by thinking, reading, feeling sorry for and overwhelming myself, I finally stop and listen. And what do I hear?
“I lift my eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the lord, the maker of heaven and earth.” (Praise You In This Storm – Casting Crowns)
How could I have missed that? It’s kind of good that’s it’s only the middle of November – clearly I have not yet mastered this “listening thing”.
And so, as another day goes by, time spent with Pandora pays off, and…. I have written.
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