Today I spent a lovely afternoon in South Dennis attending a presentation by Nicola Burnell, publisher of Cape Women Online magazine, about the four classes she will be offering this summer. The classes deal with exploring your creativity, being the author of your own future, writing stories that define who we are, and finishing a fiction or memoir manuscript you’re struggling with.
The first two hours centered on Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way”. After listening to the description of the intense 12 week course, you certainly should find your creativity when you’re done with it. I was surprised to feel that after the discussion of morning pages and artist dates, this course really wasn’t what I needed. Thinking about my 435 morning pages and weekly artist dates, I felt I had accomplished more than what will be taught here. (I read the book last spring and began my own journey of finding my own way as an artist.)
The next session introducing the other three courses began by Nicola having us briefly write about “who we are now”. Some in the group had a hard time putting pencil to paper, but I scribbled off two pages easily and sat quietly waiting for others to share. Through their sharing I recognized the pain, fear and loss in these people’s eyes. It brought back memories of myself last May. I was a crippled and broken individual back then and had I attended a presentation such as this, I would’ve signed up for all four classes right on the spot. (This shows what a great teacher Nicola is, and how wonderfully helpful these classes can be when one is stuck in limbo.)
I went there this afternoon expecting to find out, once again, just how far behind I was and how much I still don’t know, compared to everyone else. I pictured myself swimming in the rapids minus one “swimmy”, when in all actuality I was in a canoe with sturdy paddles. I remember three years ago I was building a room to write in, then spent another year unable to write even a single word. I remember not knowing where or how to start. I remember feeling lost. Somehow, I went there today still thinking of myself in that very same way.
In my writing exercise I suddenly realized I have now written three children’s picture storybooks with one ready to be submitted for publication, have one young adult novel in the works, write this blog daily, belong to a children’s writing group, a blog group, and sit on the board of directors for the Cape Cod Writing Center. I was shocked to find out I clearly knew who I was, who I am now, and where I’m going.
At the end of the session Nicola passed out sheets on which we were to indicate our preferences for the classes we’d like to take. I was amazed that I actually felt none of these applied to me right now. I’d moved on. I finally took a step forward. I folded my sheet, hugged her, told her I have a lot to think about and how much I liked her magazine, then headed for my car.
They say a journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. The next 999 miles now seem doable. I will approach my second step with no expectations and see where it takes me, just as I do when I enter the hot room each day. I drove home happy and with a confidence I hadn’t ever felt before in this artist’s quest.
And so, as another day goes by, once again I lean on the lessons learned in the hot room, find that hope and courage reside in having no expectations, and…I have written.
You are more than well on your way my friend!Joan