It never ceases to amaze me how well we know ourselves, use that knowledge to make decisions about what’s right for us, and, later at some other time, have our decisions validated.
Yesterday in our yoga class a new spring challenge was being announced. It included 5 classes a week for 5 weeks in addition to three other categories of things you had to pick two out of each category to do in the 5 weeks. All three categories amounted to a list of about 15 things. They included great things like get a massage, give up things like tv or caffeine for a week, etc. The teacher explained each part as we lay in savasana Immediately I was contemplating whether to do it or not. So far I have not entered into any of the challenges. I decided that I needed to stick to my original decision of not taking part in any challenges because it would put pressure on my one place of peace.
After class everyone was excited and taking the sheets to sign up. The teacher asked if I was doing it and I told her no, I really need to design my own challenge in the other direction. She said but you already do most of this stuff, including coming to class everyday. I said if I signed up for this, it would totally take over my life. I would take that and run with it. She laughed and I said as I was leaving, this is my place of no pressure and I have to keep it that way.
Later on, while driving, I was still wondering if I wasn’t making the wrong decision by not taking part in the challenge. Will I feel left out of the camaraderie of the group? No, I would still join in that by cheering on my friends and help them anyway I could achieve their personal goals. I let the thought go for the rest of the day.
This morning, the thought of doing the challenge resurfaced. I had an idea. I would take a sheet today and bring it home and maybe just log onto it the things I do naturally without even trying. Then I remembered something the teacher said while explaining the program. She said maybe you want to circle all 15 things and do them all. And of course, that would be the thing I would do. Try to do them all. I can’t ever do anything half-way. Now I know I made the right decision to stay completely away from this spring challenge. Not taking that sheet and signing up is MY challenge. Striving to keep the balance and peace my yoga practice has brought to my life is my spring renewal goal. My yoga practice is not a sport, is free of rules, and I need to keep it that way. It is the thing I can approach each morning without placing any expectations on myself and give myself the freedom to just go to class and “see what happens”. This has been a tremendous challenge for me since fall, and I have finally found solace and joy in this place. It has just, in these past two weeks, transitioned itself into the rest of my life.
My mantra is “just be a vehicle for the spirit”, where I picture myself as an empty car, and I do no driving of any kind. I just stand here, arms by my side, and let the spirit and universe work. It’s absolutely amazing the new things and people that have entered my life as soon as I put down the gloves, stopped pushing and fighting, and became an empty car with no GPS. Just since March I had the unexpected Florida trip with my family, a close friend from Buffalo who I haven’t seen in years, decide to come visit me, a book club born out of my yoga friends, being asked to help head up a bloggers group for cape cod writers, being lucky enough to find a writing group to work with on my writing, that Fire Within workshop that sparked this group, another close friend coming to spend the weekend to attend a workshop “A Day for Unfinished Women” being held here in my town by a best-selling local author, and just yesterday, tickets for the home opener of a Red Sox game. The surprises just keep flowing in. As soon as I gave up all control of trying to shape my life and the people in it, God flooded it with more blessings than I could’ve ever concocted on my own. I even pray differently. Not only with more gratitude, but with less “please please God”. I am less of a a beggar to my higher power. Prayer has become a two way conversation talking very specifically about the people in my life, instead of “hey God, have I got a deal for you”.
My mom used to wear Obsession, the perfume. After she passed away, I kept a small bottle of hers. Think I’ll spritz a little on today as I leave for my writers group.
And so, as another day goes by, maybe it is about the perfume, and…I have written.
Agree totally. that is why I don’t keep track of days in a row, and while I am kind of doing the challenge, it is just like the yoga practice itself to me, I use it to try and be a better me like forcing me out of my comfort zones but it is not a type of challenge I need to complete to be satisfied.
I used to love Obsession about 20 years ago, I still have an old bottle but don’t use much perfumes anymore.