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August 29th, 2011 Irene came and went and left more than a few twigs on my lawn. It was wonderful to wake up to a normal breezy cape morning. The day was spent in yard cleanup. My husband “vacuumed” the lawn with the tractor, while I picked up all the oversized branches. No sooner had we begun our task, when the belt on the lawn tractor slipped off the pulley and jammed itself. We tried everything to get it out, before we started taking things apart. Belt still stuck in pulley, tractor parts all over the lawn, we headed out to find a new belt. No belt that long on cape, ordered one, and the guy at the car parts store got the belt off the pulley. I convinced my husband that we were ahead with getting the belt unstuck and we could still use it. (Oh I so wanted to use it because raking this yard was not in my plans for the day. While cleaning the outside shower earlier, I was already contemplating that shower and glass of wine this evening.) We came home, put everything back together, started her up and prayed the old belt would get our yard done today. It did and I was happy to survey our yard and have it all back to normal by late afternoon.
My work picking up and carrying sticks was solitary. The motion of my body was in sync with the thoughts in my mind and I realized my brain was acting much like it does when I’m sleeping. As I was consciously paying attention to the sticks, in the background my mind was working on things that puzzle me or upset me. It was working on my problems as I worked on the sticks, much the same way our dreams are working on solutions to our problems while our body attends to sleep, rest, and repair.
I liked the quote in my morning meditation today and found myself reciting it as rhythmically as I gathered up the small limbs:
“I will always have fears, but I need not be my fears, for I have other places within myself from which to speak and act.”
~Parker J. Palmer
While carrying and dragging armloads of branches, I carefully explored the other places within myself from which I can speak and act. To me, this was talking about my energy sources. If I let my fears (which are largely about loss), give me my energy, I will be fraught with anxiety. If let God and the people I love be the source of my energy, I will be blessed with peace and calmness. Easy to say, harder to do, but lately, I’ve been making it a conscious choice instead of giving in to that first stab of fear.
The combination of the realization of my progress on the downside of the beach path (cited in earlier blogs), along with the sight of my yard beginning to return to normal, worked in combination to clean both my yard and mind of clutter.
I find work is good. Exercise can perform the same brain clearing function, but it’s much easier to blow off than a yard full of storm debris. Many times it’s easier to just sit and feel our fears grow. Having work that needs to be done can be a blessing in disguise.
And so, as the day after Irene goes by, I got the shower, chilled wine, and a peace found through hard work, and I have written.
August 28th, 2011 Irene has come n’ gone in Sandwich in Cape Cod. At my house she left a few twigs that we’ll have to pick up tomorrow. There was NO rain and the sun actually made an appearance. We still have no power, but since it’s summer, no worries about heat, and we have a generator to run the fridge…so no worries about us out here.
My husband and I had a great afternoon with a few drinks (he bought me Sea Breezes in a pouch with a spicket) and playing chess for the first time since we were in high school. We laughed and laughed because 40 years later I still beat him in both games. The wind is still whipping, but nothing out of the ordinary and the sun just appeared again. We are playing his iPad off the Bose, having another drink, and have dinner done. When darkness comes we’ll snuggle in the candlelight. Actually, folks, this has been the BEST weekend of my summer.
Love you all, hope you are all as safe and comfy as we are, and so, as another day with Irene leaving us goes by….I have written. (Oh this is too much…he has Anne Murray on the Bose singing Old Cape Cod- I love my life here!)
August 28th, 2011 It’s 11am and Irene showed up in the form of a few strong wind gusts, but still no rain. The power went off about 10:30. I just sitting here in my chair, screen door open, watching and listening to the wind. It’s still strange – I never sat through a “dry” hurricane before. And now, the SUN just came out, went back in quickly, and another big gust came through. It’s almost like just any windy summer afternoon, except we have no power. This really doesn’t seem like we’re in the middle of a hurricane at all. Not still anymore, but still strange.
And so, as another afternoon goes by, I think Irene sent her little sister to visit me instead, and….I will keep writing.
August 28th, 2011 I opened my eyes at seven am to a tiny bit of wind outside my window and turned on the tv to get a storm update before getting out of bed. I didn’t even have my two feet on the floor yet and out went the power. “Great!”, I thought, “I don’t even have a storm yet, but I lost power already.” Just as I was about to go downstairs, the power came back on. Phew! There would be hot coffee.
8:30am – winds here in Sandwich are not any stronger than normal. It’s a bit darker out now, than when I got up, but not raining. The cape is supposed to get very little rain. I’m counting every hour with power as a good one.
Today I will post this blog in parts so my friends and family will know we are safe all day.
And so, as the morning passes, no sign of Irene on my doorstep yet, and…I will keep writing.
August 27th, 2011 Saturday morning, August 27. The early morning today continues to be just as eerie as it was yesterday outside. All night long, still not a leaf has moved. The motionless plants and trees outside my door just hang there, ominously warning of impending something. Today will be busy with the last of the preparations. We are lucky we are on the inside of the bay. It’s the other side of the cape – the south facing beaches – that have to board up their windows and will get the storm surge with huge waves. We have a marsh between us and the ocean to absorb the high tide we will get. Wind is our worry. Downed trees and power lines could make for a tough week ahead.
Late morning – off to get gas and ice. Local radio just told us to stayed tuned because they have “everything Irene” and they want to make sure we have a “safe and enjoyable” weekend. 🙂 Air is super still and heavy as the eeriness builds due to the lack of Saturday renters not arriving.
Venturing out to stop n shop proved uneventful. The store has plenty of food and water. The storm has been downgraded to a category 1 even before it reached NC. The radio just reported that it’s tracking even further west now, putting our winds at around 65 mph, so power outages are still a concern.
Done with yard, food, ice, water, batteries, etc. My husband and I stopped and looked at each other and said, “I think we’re done!”, then promptly turned on the Red Sox and settled in for a double header this afternoon and the Pats pre-season game tonight.
Raining in Boston, Red Sox game delay, just misting now and then here. The air remains heavy and still. I can’t believe, being so close to the ocean, we haven’t had so much as a breeze in almost 36 hours.
5pm – totally done – generator tested, dinner for days done, car in garage, water in tubs……wine poured, playing Words With Friends while watching storm updates….maybe…as the radio said..it is going to be an enjoyable weekend.
That’s it from hurricane central on Cape Cod. It’s going to be rather boring here tonight. Our hurricane time is slated for 8am to 8 pm tomorrow, but if anything happens tonight, I’ll post again.
(Please don’t sit up worrying Auntie Charlotte – we’ll be fine tonight!) 🙂
And so, as another day goes by, we anxiously await the arrival of our weekend guest tomorrow, and….I have written.
August 26th, 2011 It’s early Friday morning, 2 days before the hurricane hits. I didn’t really set much store by the old cliche “The calm before the storm”, but I believe I’m in it now. Coming downstairs at 6 am, there was an eeriness to the air that felt abnormal. No cars going up and down the main road, no early morning runners, no landscaping or garbage trucks squeaking through our side streets with the incessant beeping of their back up alert, and a certain heavy pressure to the outside air, making me want to immediately open the doors and windows. I hurried to turn on the tv in an attempt to restore normalcy back to the morning.
As I sit here with my tea watching the hurricane coverage, Martha’s Vineyard and Nantucket are being evacuated. Ferries will be shut down on Sunday morning. The Cape is under a hurricane watch, but they are now saying the cape will be spared the worst of it. Bridges will be shut down when winds reach 70 mph. Power loss for up to a week is possible and should be planned for. Thank God my husband bought the last generator in NY state yesterday, and fought for the floor model at that.
It’s now 6:42 and the world outside my window still hasn’t woken up yet. Highly unusual. It feels as if everyone left during the night and I didn’t know it. Such a strange beginning to my day. My day. After yoga, I will spend the day hauling in everything save the grass.
7:15 and the paper flopped on my driveway and a jogger ran by. Oh thank goodness there wasn’t a mass evacuation while I was sleeping. Finally on the way to yoga class, cars and people began to appear, but the eerie calmness was still in the air. Even now, after noontime, sitting down with lunch and storm updates, the noise my tv makes almost seems to disturb the extreme quiet covering the neighborhood. Where are all the delivery trucks and beach traffic? Obviously people are otherwise engaged in storm prep.
After exercising and running, I ended up on the beach at low tide. Maybe 15 people out there – highly unusual for a perfect August Friday afternoon. The air, even on the beach, held that eerie stillness as if warning of that which is just off shore, heading this way. Walking back home, the beach road, normally crammed with parked cars and traffic, was deserted. All the cottagers left a day early. One car passed me on my way back.
Returned home just in time for the five o’clock news to see that the hurricane watch has now been upgraded to a hurricane warning. That only meant one thing – back to the store – more wine. I can live without power.
6 pm – finishing this post out in the garage, which I just got done rearranging, ready to remove the screens and put my car in it. The air is still heavy with humidity, and not a leaf is moving. Such stillness here feels very strange. Soon my husband will be here and we will hook up the generator and continue to batten down the hatches. (The fridge that holds the wine will be the first thing plugged in.)
And so, as another day goes by, Irene missed a gorgeous beach day – I fear the weather isn’t going be very good when she visits me Sunday, and….I have written.
Photo: beach today….hurricane? Really?
August 25th, 2011 Each weekend this summer has brought guests to visit. I love this because it seems once the school year starts and winter sets in, we don't get to see many people. Fourth of July brought a dear family from NY and our girls. Then next weekend my NY daughter came out. The next weekend was my Boston daughter's girls' weekend – reunion of her college friends and this year NY daughter joined them with a friend. That was some weekend – 5 girls! The following weekend both daughters with friends from Boston joined us. The next weekend friends from my husband's work joined us for a dinner. The weekend after that two other families came out to rent near us and came for dinner. Last weekend my dad joined us for a wonderful weekend. Tonight my yogi book club is meeting on my beach. These are all wonderful, memorable, times to be kept and thought of on those gray winter days.
So – who's coming this weekend? This weekend's guest is not so welcome, but I'm sure it will be memorable. Hurricane Irene is supposed to grace our doorstep starting Saturday night. From all reports, Cape Cod is taking a pretty big hit. The news is likening it to Hurricane Bob in 1991. I was supposed to go to NY this weekend. We cancelled that, and my husband is coming out here tomorrow. If we do get damage to our house, we'd rather be here than stuck in NY. There's always the possibility that they won't let us back over the bridge if we leave.
I did my hurricane shopping – have enough water until Xmas – will put away everything that isn't nailed down, hubby is bringing plastic, staple gun, generator, chain saws, etc. I am in charge of batteries, candles, food, and lamp oil. The worst that can happen is a tree falling on the house. We don't have kids to worry about, so a few days without power is doable.
So, dear family and friends, we should be fine, please don't worry about us, and I will keep you informed as the weekend progresses, of how things are going with this weekend's guest.
And so, as another day goes by, I'm set to entertain girlfriend Irene, and ….I have written.
August 24th, 2011 The book, The Secret, was brought up in conversation today. This book and video have been sensationalized on talk shows and the Internet. I read it, along with Lisa Love’s Beyond the Secret. The “secret” is the law of attraction; the concept being what you think about is what you’ll get. Now don’t get me wrong, but isn’t this the age old principle (biblical) “you reap what you sow” and the karma concept of “what goes around, comes around” just repackaged and sold for profit? If you think negative, you’ll get negative. If you think positive, you’ll get positive. Yes, I truly believe what you think – and do according to your thoughts, is what you’ll attract in return. I don’t know about you, but this seems a little like reinventing the wheel and kind of tricking people into thinking this is something new – just sayin’…..
And so, as another day goes by, I’m wondering what I did to attract Irene to Cape Cod, and…I have written.
August 23rd, 2011 Approximately 15 minutes ago I sat down in my chair to write this blog. My head felt like it was being “rocked” gently from side to side as I looked up from my phone (I write on my phone) and there in the reflection of my back door, was the window of my front door with a basket of flowers on it rocking back and forth. I turned around and looked at the actual door, but it appeared to be still. Then I looked back at the reflection and it was moving. My head was rocking in the same motion with it unless I looked away. Within minutes, the report of today’s earthquake on the east coast broke on TV. It then dawned on me that I just “watched” a ten second earthquake. If I hadn’t looked at the reflection in the door, I would’ve never seen or felt the movement.
This is the first time what actually wasn’t there, showed what was really happening and the real thing showed no sign of it.
Makes me wonder how many times what we actually witnessed in a situation was not was really what was happening at all. Makes one think we should maybe pay more attention to reflection. My writing instructor last week was musing on observing all the time like writers do, and she said most of the time the words being said, are not the words really being said. Hmmmm…..
And so, as another day goes by, it’s been an interesting one, and…I have written.
August 22nd, 2011 This summer I have had the pleasure of teaching a Young Authors Workshop to two very gifted nine year olds. I held it in my home, out in my summer room one evening a week. My first year of retirement I didn’t miss teaching at all, but this past year I missed teaching children a lot. Then there were some parents in my yoga class that had gifted children and wanted someone to work with them all summer. I agreed to do it and designed a creative writing program.
My two charges, a boy and a girl, were absolutely delightful to work with. They were not only exceptionally gifted, but also funny…… Ironically, just now when I wrote the word “funny”, an email came in from the little girl’s mom warning me that her daughter is into pranking lately and tonight she left fake dog poop in my garage! The mom was apologetic and hoped I’d get the email before discovering the fake doo. She asked me if I’d keep it until she could “pick up the poop”!
That’s what I miss. The unexpected moments the children always gave me. Their unique perceptions of the world. I miss learning from them. I give gratitude that God provided that for me this summer.
Summer. When the girl’s father picked her up we were talking about school starting in 7 days. Summer is almost gone and fall really is on our doorstep just knocking to get in. When they left tonight, and I was cleaning up the room, it felt like the last day of school. The pangs of something cherished being over. The crisp night air telling me change is in progress. I have a hard time with change, but I don’t fear it or hate it. It’s not like loss. Loss hurts; holds no promise. Change is full of promise of new things to come with a new season, after the “Oh…” of nostalgia wanes.
And so, as another day goes by, I stand here with one foot still in summer and the other stepping into fall, and..I have written.
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