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October 2nd, 2010 I have been on this beach for 35 years and still I’m learning new things about it. Meet Hook. He is my pet seagull and he lives on my beach. Whenever I am sitting in my chair eating a snack (chips of any kind) he comes and walks in circles around my chair waiting for me to throw out a chip. He also brings the rest of his gang and screams at them if they even try to get his chip. I never knew Seagulls inhabited a certain stretch of beach and lived there and never moved. Hook was my own little research project this summer. You might ask how could I be sure it’s Hook and the same crew? His name hints at that. If you look closely you will see a piece of nylon fishing wire about a foot long protruding from his bill. A giant fishing hook is securely fastened in the corner of his mouth. Everytime I see Hook I feel how much it must have hurt when it first happened. He must have not been able to eat for days, and every movement must have been excruciating. Eventually the hook became part of his mouth and the pain probably subsided. He had no choice to push through the pain. He wasn’t hurt bad enough or long enough to die so he HAD to endure. Hook is my inspiration. I see him and his gang everyday on my beachwalk, too. On days that my walk is is therapy for my troubles, when I see Hook, I think, I’m not hurt bad enough or long enough to not live, so I too, must push through my pain, whatever it might be at the moment. Sometimes my pain is real bad and I know it’s something that is going to take time to get over, I look at Hook and know that in time, my skin too will grow over my pain and allow me to move on, just as Hook does everyday.
So Seagulls amaze and teach me, another day goes by, and…I have written.
October 1st, 2010 Day 7 was another great day! Had some trouble with some of the balancing poses today, that I didn't have problems with any other day. We learned that as we go on in our practice, we are not always going to have great days. Some days will be harder than others with our bodies just not as cooperative as usual. Some days will also be way better than others where each pose will flow fluidly and flexibility will be at it's max. This is why we should approach each day of our practice with no expectations. Clear our mind, focus on breathing and let each session take us where it may. Bringing this thought into our everyday lives also helps us create a less anxious way of living. I have found, after only 7 days, my mind is changing along with my body. I have become more methodical in my approach to daily tasks instead of running around crazy doing 4 things and not finishing any of them. I move a little slower – big thing for a type A like me. I find myself putting more thought into things before I proceed with them.
Physically, it's amazing to come home from each day of rigorous exercise and not feel sore in any way. I feel taller, leaner, and more flexible. Another big physical change is a tricep injury I have been nursing since summer. In my weekly yoga classes it was painful to hold my left arm out shoulder level and it would hurt doing any kind of squeezing activity. Today when squeezed the mop while washing the floor, I was amazed I barely felt the injury. This only after 7 days.
Bikram yoga is amazing. Today we were told if you want to change your body, do it thirty days, if you want to change your mind, do it 60 days, and if you want to change your life, do it 180 days. I now truly believe this and cannot wait to see the journey hot yoga is going to take my mind, body, an spirit on. I am really considering giving up the gym membership for the first time in ten years. Bikram has way more to offer me as a total person.
So today, as I expect nothing, another day goes by, and….I have written.
September 30th, 2010 First, I should explain what the oompha loompah is. Every week when I did regular yoga, when I would try to bend forward, these two rolls of stomach interfered and cut off my breath and prevented forward movement. Hence, I dubbed them oompha loomphas.
It was no different when I started hot yoga. In fact, these oompha loomphas contributed to the breathing trouble I had day 3. Today when I went to bend forward in my first pose I was pleasantly surprised! The oompha loomphas were gone! I don't know where they went – it just felt like they got sucked in and presto – my forehead hit my knees without effort!
And that wasn't the only new surprise! My breathing changed. In hot yoga you are supposed to breathe only through your nose. I couldn't. I had to do the "going into shock" breathing – in through the nose, out through the mouth rapidly to keep from passing out. (in fact doing the nose breathing was what I was trying the day I had to leave the room) I had decided not to try that idea anymore, but today it happened NATURALLY. All of a sudden I found myself breathing normally during poses and rest periods and I didn't sound like I was giving birth. (the guy next to me probably appreciated that) This was not only calming, but illuminating. Showed me to just relax and trust the instructor – her training cost $10,000 (you can only go to one place and be trained by Mr. Bikram himself) so she knows what she's doing. And that, when your body is undergoing extreme duress, is very comforting.
And so, the oompha loomphas are gone, another day goes by, and…I have written.
September 29th, 2010
Again, for Ashley, I am happy to report day 5 went smoothly and without incident. I think, as of day 5, it has now turned into a 10 day challenge. Being an organized person of routine, I am beginning to see how this fits my psyche, as well as my lifestyle. First, it's the same 29 poses each day, done twice, held for 10 seconds each (that I can easily count with my breath), allowing me at all times to be in control. Then the classes are at 9:30 -11 Monday thru Friday allowing a routine schedule to my week. To top it off, my favorite coffee house is around the corner on my way home. They make better coffee than Dunkin and it's only $1.35. Stopped for the first time today, and I can see a daily routine building here. Schedule, routine, organization, all right down the road from my house and not too early in the morning, add cheap, good coffee, and I think we have a winner here. Now that I've covered all the important stuff, I should talk about the yoga.
As I have mentioned before, it's the breathing and intense concentration that makes this a self-competitive sport in itself. Right now I am picturing my face in the mirror as I intently stare into my own eyes, sweat pouring off me in huge droplets as the instructor calls out "lock your knee, right shoulder back, left hip forward". Each day I get better and better at holding and perfecting each pose. I am also so in touch with my body and am learning to feel where my muscle tightness lies. Today during the rest periods, I cued into my heart. I felt it beating very fast, feeling the cardio workout, and feeling it ease as I lay still breathing. During these brief rests, the instructor gives us alot of great teaching in many areas contributing to a happy, more serene life. Today she talked about joy. She said we own our own joy and no one can take it away from us. If people are making us feel sad, angry, disappointed, etc. it's not them, it's us letting them. We need to take our intense focus out of the yoga room and practice it in our own life. Our joy comes from within us and we can't let people take it away. Funny how that is the very charm I bought 2 weeks ago to work on in my spiritual journey. I firmly believe there are NO coincidences.
During one break she also told us that she brings in teachers on weekends from all over the country, because we hear her say the same thing everyday and we could be missing stuff, but maybe hearing another person teach it their way, we will suddenly see it. The girl coming this weekend perfected the practice of these 29 moves, then moved onto the advanced moves and her body became so cut that she now has moved into body building. I had no idea this yoga could cause such dramatic body changes. Again, another incentive for me to push on everyday, working hard, intensely focusing on what every muscle of my body is doing. I like the idea that each day I am the one who brings new focus to my practice and none of it depends on anyone else in the room.
And so, another day goes by, joyfully, and …..I have written.
September 28th, 2010 I am happy to report that day four of hot yoga was uneventful! Today I kept my focus on my breath every minute – even during the brief rest periods. I kept my eyes straight ahead and focused on the mirror. As a result, each pose flowed fluidly and went by quickly and I was able to deepen and improve each move. Paying close attention to instructor keeps you engaged and there is no time to worry about how hot you are or how much time is left.
One very important thing was I had to put yesterday behind me and not worry it was going to happen again today. I went in with the expectation that today was a new day – erase yesterday, and it worked.
So all in all, day four is a success, another day goes by, and…I have written.
September 27th, 2010 Today was my third day of hot yoga. I am learning and noticing many new things. For example, today just before the end of the standing poses, I thought I was going to pass out and left the room. When I came back, the instructor told me to just lie down and breathe. I did. I refocused and finished the class without incident. I thought about what happened and figured it out. I tried to rearrange my breathing pattern, got distracted, began thinking about the heat, started looking around and lost focus. From this I learned just how much of this practice is mental – while the physical is very rigorous, it can’t be done without total focus.
You do the same 29 poses everyday. The instructor calls out each instruction and you have to focus and breath, making moving thru the poses without caring about the heat, the other people, or how much time is left, possible. Your mind literally takes a 90 minute vacation while your body gets a total cardio/strength workout. The idea is you don’t need to go to the gym anymore. Through these 10 classes, I’m supposed to get an idea if this is the way I want to go for exercise. My gym renews in December so I have time to think about it and try it longer before deciding.
Also, today driving, I suddenly sat up straighter and an involuntary breath escaped and surprised me. In line at the grocery store I dropped my shoulders remembering something the instructor said about natural shoulder position in class and immediately felt relaxed.
Small things, but noticeable.
In the end, as another day goes by, I feel good after three days and…I have written.
September 26th, 2010 That's right, I have become a hot yogi. My older daughter Erin got into Bikram hot yoga a year ago. This is my child who found walking to the beach too much trouble, much less going to a gym and now she's telling me she loves going to a yoga class where it's 104 degrees in the room and the goal of the first class is not to leave the room. Well, I thought, how long can this last? A regular yoga class is enough work without adding the heat. To my surprise, she excelled in it and goes almost daily for over a year now. I am proud of her for sticking with it and she tells me that you will never in your life feel so good, along with improved health. Then she began trying to get Ashley and me to try it. Ashley started going about a month ago and tells me the same thing, saying "Mom, you gotta try it!"
This weekend Ashley came to stay with us and found the Bikram place here on the Cape. To my surprise, it's right down the road and I drive past it everyday. She convinced me, hot flashes and all, to try it yesterday. I was so nervous about passing out that I didn't sleep the night before and the class was at 8am. Not only that, she made me get up at 6 so I could drink 2 bottles of water before going. I must say I surprised myself. I made it through the 90 minute class and only sat out for 2 out of the 29 poses. The heat was very different than 100 beach heat and as long as I concentrated on my breathing, I never got dizzy or light headed at all. The instructor was very good. She doesn't do the class, she just walks around and gives very specific, fast paced instructions. You don't even have to watch. I even took off my glasses (otherwise they'd sweat off). I found the level of concentration unparalleled to any other exercise I've ever done. You have to focus so hard on your breath and movement take you totally into yourself. I have done regular Yoga for years, but this is totally different – for the mind, body, and soul. I was exhausted the rest of the day, but that was more a result of not falling asleep until 3am the night before. We went again today and I didn't sit out at all. (and now that I am familiar with the routine, of course I was more prepared and organized) Also, after a good night's sleep, I wasn't nearly as tired as I was yesterday.
Afterward, you feel you've had a total cardio/strength workout, you feel much lighter, and so stretched that you actually walk taller and with better posture after only 2 classes. We are going again tomorrow and I am really looking forward to it. Ashley bought me my introductory package, so I am going all week long and compare this to my regular gym exercise routine. Both girls have given up their gym memberships and I am beginning to see why. For me, only time will tell.
And so, another day goes by, and I have written. Namaste.
September 25th, 2010
There are two kinds of change. One I embrace with a big bear hug, the other – not so much. As soon as the first red leaf appears on my patio, I get exhilarated by the impending new season. I could not live in a place where trees just stood there being green all the time. I welcome major life changes such as a new job, a new house, or moving to a new state. The promise of a new life, despite any challenges it may bring, makes me feel more alive and in touch with the world around me. I enthusiastically delve into spiritual growth and taking inward journeys to my heart that will result in changes in the way I live and view the world. I willingly listen to my Higher Power and believe me, when He says it's time for change, it's outta my hands – topic for another blog all by itself – but still a type of change I embrace. When I was teaching, I always welcomed the changes each new September brought. I always loved new programs and new ideas for doing old things in new ways. New colleagues and new leadership always made the adrenalin flow, spurring me on to try harder and do better for my students. Yes, most changes that cross my path I do embrace.
BUT…and it's a VERY big but….don't move my coffee cup that says "Home is where your mom is" to a different shelf. Don't move my toothbrush from it's spot just a little to the left of the faucet. Don't make me wake up someplace where there is no rocking chair. Even worse, don't let me come downstairs in the morning and find someone sitting in MY rocking chair and forcing me to have my coffee in a recliner because I'm too polite to say "Get your ass outta my chair!" , and just today my grocery store decided to reorganize the whole store and do away with the salad bar – sad times for me at Stop N Shop.
Funny how the big life changes that matter, I revere and welcome, letting them enrich my journey, but the tiny ones that shouldn't matter at all – those are the ones that brew a small temper tantrum.
And so, as I straighten the towel as I pass by the towel bar, another day goes by…and I have written.
September 24th, 2010 Who would've thought that the answer to world peace AND how to live a sane, happy life would be found on a banner hanging on my wall? Neat, clean, short, sweet, and right to the point – seems so simple…….
…….and so the Dalai Lama has spoken, and as another day goes by, so have I.
September 23rd, 2010 The idea of doing something once a day has been hitting me from all sides lately. First, as I told you earlier, my friend Linda Dee got me into taking a photo a day last spring, and now into writing something once a day. Over a year ago another friend gave me, as a gift, the same meditation book she was using and I read a page a day. On a recent tv show a woman was making a dress a day for one dollar each – 365 dresses for $365. The movie Julia and Julia was about making a recipe a day for one year. When I was a teacher, one of the teaching techniques I firmly believed in was “5 seconds once a day instead of 30 minutes once a week”. I believe anyone can learn anything if they do it for a few minutes a day, everyday.
So, there obviously has to be something to this concept. Low n behold the message in my morning meditation is about discovering what interests you.
“Begin a journey of discovery.
Find out what interests you.
Listen to yourself for a few days,
for a few weeks. Discover what
stimulates your creative juices.
Then follow that idea through”
I’m thinking that finding something that makes you happy, something you need to do for yourself, and doing it for a few minutes, once a day, will, overtime, grow you and change you and add a new dimension to your life. Hmmmm….another day goes by and….I have written.
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