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July 25th, 2014 This Huff Post article graced my newsfeed this morning and piqued my interest because of my belief in the seriousness of exercise and muscle building at any age. Tosca Reno answers the question Why do I need to exercise? better than anyone I’ve read. And not only for women. Men take heed, too. It’s not about your butt. Give it a read:
The Pornographication of Fitness Needs To Stop
And so, as another day goes by, it’s time to take the last swig of my coffee and head out to Koko, and…I have written.
July 22nd, 2014 To me, Reba McEntire has always been not only an extraordinary artist, but a deeply caring, humble, and thankful person. She never placed value on her fame and fortune. She clearly communicates God has given her all she has and she is to use it to help others. Reba is clear proof that when you use your God-given gifts and talents to further His mission in the world, He just blesses you more.
The situation in the middle-east has been troubling my heart and mind as I watch the daily news. Then today Reba shows up on my Facebook newsfeed with this:
After reading her post, I watched the video. I immediately felt comfort knowing prayer is the only way.
And so, as another day goes by, once again Reba knocks it out of the park using her gift for the greater good, and…I have written.
July 19th, 2014 Well the wedding is over, so now it’s time to shift focus and “get down to it”. It is time to drag out my own picture book that I wrote in the summer of 2011 and do something with it. I remember the day I wrote that book. It started with the words and pictures flowing in my head as I was walking the beach. As I moved along the shoreline, I became aware that a book was forming. Oh no! Now what do I do? I’m too far away from home to remember it all until I get back to my desk. And I do know myself – if it’s not recorded immediately, it will be lost. I’ll retain the major concept, but the voice will be lost. Thank goodness for technology! I sat down on the rocks and quickly tapped out 27 pages in the notes on my phone. Once I had the words down, I beat feet home to sketch the pictures before they, too, were gone.
I burst in the door and couldn’t even take time to find proper sketch paper. I grabbed a handful of paper out of the printer, plopped down on my kitchen island (a favorite workspace of mine), turned the paper landscape style, and banged out 26 illustrations, beginning with the cover, in about an hour. When I was done, I was exhausted. Writing and illustrating are like that for me. Pent up emotion and message, bursting out of me, leaving me spent for the day.
Next I spent a few days cleaning up the illustrations and decided to bring it to read to my writers group to see what they thought. It was very well received and the pressure to “do something with it” was on. But for some reason, I couldn’t. I put the book in a box and there it sat for three years. I still don’t know why. All I know is it sat in that box and in the back of my mind – until now.
Just before the wedding I dragged it out and set it on my desk and began to look at it. Not even read it. Just look at it. Then after a few days I read it. Wow. I was pleasantly surprised. I thought it would need more editing, but the tips I used from my writing group made it read really smooth. Now I was apprehensive about the illustrations. I’m still trying to find my style with the artwork, so every step in my illustrating is shaky and unsure.
With the encouragement of my dear friend Joan and my husband (who even offered to pay), I signed up to have an children’s book agent review it at the Cape Cod Writers Center Annual Conference in August. Ooh …scary. The first time sharing my work with a professional in the industry. But suddenly I’m ready. Go figure. The book hasn’t changed in three years, but I guess I have. I used to blame it on the book being not ready.
So where am I now? Under the gun. The book has to be submitted by email by next Friday the 25th. The conference is August 7-10 and my appointment is on Friday the 8th. This weekend I have to “get down to it”. The illustrations need to have the text cropped out and be scanned to my desktop, numbered, and set in a neat little row, waiting for me to build them into a book. Then I have to put them in Word and add the text. I’m not a Word pro, so this is going to take all weekend, but I’ll learn a lot.
And so, as another day goes by, the needle of my personal compass once again shifts, and I have not only written, but now I have to just “get down to it”.
July 14th, 2014 Two weeks ago they came – one by one. Cars and groups of people arrived steadily from Wednesday through Sunday. Today they are all gone. They began leaving on Friday with my husband and daughter being the last two to vacate the premises this morning.
It’s over. The wedding and family vacations that were planed over a year ago. The backyard is clean and back to normal. The gazebo is down and put away. The garbage is piled high at the curb. This cleaning up is a necessary ritual for me after a big event. As people began leaving on Friday, the sadness began creeping in and taking hold. Both Friday and Saturday were hard for me, then yesterday when the cleanup effort began, the sadness began to fade. I needed something to close the big event. Cleaning up and packing away did the trick.
Today it’s back to working out then working 10-1 in Mashpee. This, too, is another ritual I need to fill the void. It was clearly the best two weeks I have ever spent with my family and friends. The wedding was beyond my expectations. Sitting there in the front row, watching my daughter and her husband take their vows, with the sound of the waves lapping on the shore just feet away, a seagull swooping down directly behind them, and the sun breaking through causing the sky to turn a pink-gold was a moment I’ll never forget. It was a true Cinderella evening – the song played for the father-daughter dance.
I sit now, in the quiet of the morning, and remember that August afternoon last summer when I was walking the beach, talking to my daughter who was crying over the phone when I told her we couldn’t do a beach wedding on our beach. I remember talking her down from the tree, hanging up, gazing out over the water and flinging my arm toward heaven, saying “God, just take care of this wedding!”
That was by far the most powerful prayer I ever prayed, because man, did He deliver. Not only providing the perfect venue the very next day, but giving me the job (that I love) to be able to pay for it. Yes, it’s over and it’s sad – but it’s only sad because it was so perfect. That is my God. He is perfect in every way. All my life He has been there providing just what I need at exactly the time I needed it. Watching that ceremony was watching the awesomeness of my God in action.
And so, as another day goes by, I return to my normal life with a heart full of gratitude, and…I have written.
July 13th, 2014 One morning last week I was on my way to exercise. I stopped at the end of my road to make a right onto 6A, the main road. There was one car in front of me, and I was patiently waiting my turn to move into first position. I noticed the continuous line of traffic and realized it was Saturday morning and what we call “change day” on the cape. Everyone has to check out of their cottages by 11 am and new people check in by 2pm. On this day you have to be aggressive to make even a right hand turn. By the time I thought all of this, I realized the car was still in front of me. I began to pay attention to the line of traffic and saw that car had numerous chances to turn. By the time he finally did, and it was my turn, I was mad. I saw my chance and gunned it and spun my tires just a teeny bit as I shot out onto the highway. The sound of the tires on the gravel snapped me back to reality. Did I just do that? That’s not like me. Over five years I have trained myself enjoy the 45 mph winding road way of driving on the cape. I usually relax and turn up the music when I’m behind the tourist going 29 in a 45 mph zone. I live here. That’s a way of life here. So that day, the sound of my angry tires scrapping the road stopped me in my tracks and something I had read earlier that morning flashed across my mind:
Be patient, because in patience you possess your soul. ~ Joyce Meyer
And so, as another day goes by, we never truly master even that which we spend years practicing, we are always being called to push further, and…I have written.
Typical Saturday morning practicing patience…
July 12th, 2014 Thirty-nine years ago today my husband and I got married and honeymooned here on the cape. We always knew this magical place would someday be our home. Our dreams have come true and my prince really did give me that castle on a hill that our wedding song spoke about. We have had a wonderful life together, raising our two daughters and enjoying our respective career paths. And now, on this day thirty-nine years later, we wrap up our daughter’s wedding week. Having her get married here on cape, with 88 family and friends traveling here, staying for a week-long vacation – well – that was more, much more than I ever could’ve hoped for.
When the kids look to us for an answer to the big question How did you do it?, we look at each other and smile. One word we tell them. Just one. Respect. In thirty-nine years of disagreements, not once have we ever attacked each other’s person. We never swore at each other. We never called each other names (except in jest – “horses ass” is my current nickname when I try to put one over on him). We learned to walk away and take a breath when we are at impasse. We learned to apologize – something that was always easier for him and I had to work hard at. I remember days where those two words almost choked me, but I knew they were necessary to move forward.
Through respect we learned unconditional love and now, thirty-nine years later, we know that means staying, no matter what the other person has done. Staying may not always be fun or comfortable or easy – but it IS the first step to moving forward in any situation. Through respect we learned the meaning of listening – for listening resolves more conflicts than talking. Through respect we learned the meaning of “being human” and that perfection is not an option or a requirement or a goal. The respectful environment we operated in for all these years created the space for our teenage love to grow into what we share today.
And so, as another anniversary goes by, we can only wish Erin & Steve a life filled with the same respect and love – and – oh yes – don’t forget those grandchildren I was already envisioning on the beach, and…I have written.
Happy anniversary, my love, my husband, and my best friend…
And to Erin & Steve I say this:
It is very important to be an excellent person – to do your very best everyday in all you believe God is asking you to do…to do every job to the best of your ability. You can’t be an excellent person and not walk in love, and you can’t walk in love and not be an excellent person. To abound in love is the most excellent thing you can do. ~ Joyce Meyer
July 11th, 2014 Ok, yesterday I couldn’t find words to describe my daughter’s wedding. Now, two days later, I realized I walked around all night long saying it was magical. Magical is definitely the word.
The magic began when “All Of Me” began playing as I waited on my father’s arm to be walked down the aisle. I always told my daughter that that song was written for her and Steve because it totally describes their relationship over this past year. I teared up more than once when it would come on the car radio, and now, here it was, the first song played at the wedding, causing the first of my tears to fall before I even stepped foot in the room.
And my dad – oh Lord – that was the funny story. At the rehearsal dinner, Jennifer, the event director, (who is the most amazing person ever and prevented even one moment of anxiety over this whole last year) tells me I will be the first in line to walk down the aisle with my father. That was my first moment of anxiety – uh oh – just one problem – I forgot to tell my father he was in the wedding! I didn’t even know if he brought clothes to do this. We decided weeks ago to have him walk me down the aisle, but never told HIM.
After the rehearsal dinner was over, we rushed home and went to the cottage where my dad was staying, but it was dark. He was out to dinner with my brother. I rushed to my sister’s cottage and crashed her campfire. I said, “Uh, Deb, I have one problem. I forgot to tell Dad he’s in the wedding. You need to make sure he doesn’t get seated when the bus drops you off at the wedding tomorrow.”
When I got to the venue the day of the wedding, there was my dad, looking as handsome and dapper as ever in a navy jacket, white shirt, red tie, kahki pants and white boat shoes! I cannot believe he looked like he planned to do this the whole time, dressed perfectly for the nautical theme.
We stood there atop the steps, and I said to him, “Hey Dad, do you remember walking me down the aisle 39 years ago just like this?” Then we both teared up as the last lines of All Of You drifted off in the wind. I grabbed my dress in one hand, my Dad in the other, and helped him down the stairs. My Dad is 82 years old and waiting to have heart surgery next week. To have him there to walk me down the aisle at my daughter’s wedding was a the most perfect way to begin the magical night.
And so, as another day goes by, magical IS the perfect word, and…I have written.
July 10th, 2014 …was the last song played at my daughter’s wedding last night and there are no better words to describe it!
And a good time was had by all!
And so, as another day goes by, we are all tired, but very, very happy, and…I have written.
July 8th, 2014 After months of planning, my first born’s wedding is tomorrow. You spend their life celebrating all the “firsts”. First day of school, first T ball game, first lost tooth, graduations from pre-school through college,etc. With each milestone you marvel at how their level of independence mushrooms.
But there is something different about their wedding day. This is not just another declaration of independence. This time they are gone. They are not yours anymore to hover over and worry about. I will do it anyway – but just not in quite the same way. It’s different. She is making a new family. She is also now part of a new family.
I always thought I’d be really, really sad on the eve of this day. I’m not. I’m truly, truly happy for her. The family she is marrying into is wonderful. We share many of the same nuances and customs. We have had a great time forming a bond with her new in-laws this week.
Tomorrow is going to be a beautiful celebration, followed by a rockin’ party, at an amazing venue here on the ocean in Cape Cod. Tonight; she’s happy and asleep upstairs in her bed. Tomorrow; she’s gone.
And so, as the day before my daughter’s wedding goes by, I sit by my fire, fireworks on the beach popping in the distance, and thank my Lord for the life He’s given her, and…I have written.
And you let her go…
July 7th, 2014 Wedding prep is all done and today was for relaxing on the beach. The two families set up “beach camp” and took the day to enjoy the gorgeous cape weather.
Tomorrow is the rehearsal dinner at Popponesset and I can’t wait! We have planned and waited for these days for so long, I want to get dressed up and begin the party. I have to say the kids did a great job planning this week-long destination wedding. All our relatives got a beach vacation and we were able to hang out informally with our daughter’s new family. All the kids were in the water playing games and we sat around coolers, lazed in the sun and chatted. It has always been my wish to have a big “beach camp” and spend time socializing with my family on the beach.
And so, as another day goes by, it’s time for a great dinner and more family time around the fire tonight, and…I have written.
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