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July 5th, 2014 I don’t know who invited Arthur to wedding week, but in spite of making things difficult, I’m glad he was here. He disrupted the debugging of my backyard and now that has to wait until Monday and he ruined the landscaping by dropping pockets of leaves all over the yard. My gazebo couldn’t be up and ready for everyone’s arrival on Saturday morning…etc.
But Arthur did provide a service. He made us all stop and focus on all that still needed to be done for the wedding. Arthur began bashing the cape with harsh winds and rain about 3 pm on Friday. It was as dark as night outside. My husband and future son-in-law, along with my daughter’s friend huddled around the TV cheering for Brazil. I had two graphic designers (Ashley and her boyfriend) around the kitchen table designing and printing the table signs and place cards. Bride daughter and I had a large whiteboard propped on a chair and we planned the seating chart. Then I glued starfish to the place cards and finished wire wrapping the rope decorations for the aisle seats.
If it weren’t for Arthur, we wouldn’t have gotten all this done in one afternoon. Also, the camaraderie doing it together in the storm would’ve been lost. We all felt good when we were done, poured drinks, and had an awesome dinner. We retired early to the beating of the rain and wind against the windows.
The next day dawned bright and sunny. We put up the gazebo with the help of friends and family. Everyone arrived safely and are now tucked away in their cottages. My husband and I sat outside last night listening to fireworks on the beach (we sent the kids down there) and realized how truly blessed we were.
And so, as another day goes by, even Arthur couldn’t put a damper on wedding week – complete with lighted palm tree…and I have written.
July 2nd, 2014 We are well into week one of the wedding weeks. Monday we went around paying the bills and checking on the final arrangements. Tuesday we went to Boston to pick up the dresses. Needless to say that took all day. Today I got my workout in and then went to the marine store to buy the rope to make the aisle chair decorations. I spent the afternoon on that.
The groom arrived late morning and wasn’t here ten minutes before the two of them had their cooler packed and headed for the beach. I’m taking a moment to sit outside after dinner with a glass of wine. The day still isn’t over – my younger daughter and her friend will arrive from Boston later tonight.
It truly is like being in a tunnel. I can’t pay attention to anyone or anything outside this family right now. I can’t take time to sit and read and answer emails or do things for other people. My attention is needed here, and the few moments I do have in between are needed to take care of myself these two weeks. I’m trying hard to maintain my diet and exercise. I take moments like this one to sit quietly and reflect on what is taking place here. I want to experience every minute of it, so I’m being selfish to the rest of the world. Everyone who has already done this tells me it goes by in a flash and they hardly experienced it. I don’t want to do that. I’m not on the social media so much because those I truly care about are sitting right in front of me. They are going to get my full attention (even though driving to Boston yesterday my daughter could’ve used a bit less of my attention telling here where to go! Lol!)
And so, as wedding week one gets into full swing, I’m going to enjoy my time in the tunnel, and…I have written.
June 29th, 2014 …and wedding week has officially begun! The house and yard are sparkling, my yoga room has now become the wedding room, and we await the arrival of the groom and maid of honor on Wednesday along with friends of theirs who will be joining us for the fourth. On Saturday the 5th, 75 more people arrive and move into the cottages and hotel rooms here on East Sandwich Beach. It’s a 7 day wedding from the 5th thru the 12th. The actual ceremony is on Wednesday July 9th at a gorgeous tent venue right on the ocean. The bride and groom have elected not to go away. They wanted to get married in the middle of the week so they could have a great time with their friends and family.
My oldest daughter is the bride, my younger one is the maid of honor, and I couldn’t be more excited for these two weeks to happen. Of course, all the fun comes with a good amount of stress, as any wedding would. My bride daughter is very calm today. In fact, she helped me stay calm. She decided she is going to spend this gorgeous day on the beach and relax before everyone arrives. I’m going to clean the basement. In our own way we are going to manage our stress.
Time alone in your head, whether sitting on a beach or tackling a huge project, where thoughts can drift like a boat floating down a river, has a meditative effect on the brain. I can almost feel the rubber bands relax as my brain aimlessly wanders, singing along to the local radio station as I work.
And so, as another beautiful cape day goes by, I take a lesson from the bride, and…I have written.
June 16th, 2014 Yesterday I thoroughly enjoyed all the Facebook Father’s Day posts – especially the throwback pics. I was not able to be in NY with my dad this year due to my daughter’s wedding being just three weeks away and with my husband only being here on weekends, there was just too much to do to travel. That was okay, though, because my dad and my whole family will be out here for the wedding and the whole family will be together.
Still, I thought about him yesterday, and what he meant to my life. I decided to honor him by bringing back a throwback post I wrote about him three years ago. It’s my best explanation of “What My Dad Means T Me”.
The original post was entitled Voids. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed revisiting it.
In referencing yesterday’s blog where I told about my discovery of a huge void in my grade school experience, in yoga, after writing the blog, I had a revelation. It seems, when the job coach had asked me to think of my earliest proud moments, I only looked within my school life. It still bothered me that there were so many years that I couldn’t recall a single accomplishment that I wanted to share with pride. As I recall, I had a happy childhood, so it just can’t be that I never did anything I could be proud of all those years. As I looked into the mirror during standing bow pose, counting my sixty seconds, I suddenly saw someone else in my eyes. I didn’t quite recognize the person until camel. After coming out of camel (a pose where great emotions “are squeezed out of you” – I actually have a friend who cries after this pose and not from pain) I sank to the towel saying in my head, “My dad! My dad!”. As I lay in savasana, it dawned on me that it was my dad who gave me the feeling of accomplishment, taught me the joy of learning new things, and provided me with many experiences in which I felt proud, and always told me how well I was doing, during those years.
You see, I spent my grade school and middle school years outside of school hours, home, in rural America. We only had one car and dad took it to work so my mom couldn’t taxi me to activities or to friends houses. During this time it was my dad who seriously enriched my life. My dad loved to spend his free time outside of work trying and learning new things. And the best part was, he always included my brother and me in his latest endeavors and we always had our own “kid sized” equipment to use. We did: golf, photography (we had our own darkroom in the basement), go cart racing – with a real car and track in our backyard, remote car racing (I had a gorgeous turquoise corvette), bowling, archery (we had our own target range in our backyard), pellet guns, snowmobile riding (we had our own, with complete outfits), fishing, boating, and the list goes on. Through my determination and my dad’s patient teaching and confidence in me, I became quite skilled at each one. Now, thinking back, I really think I got my gift of teaching from my dad. I think he missed his calling. He would’ve been an excellent teacher. It was not school that wrote the course for my future on the tablet of my life, it was my dad.
Even at my retirement dinner, my dad insisted on going up to the podium to sing his praise for me. I honestly think if it were not for my dad’s interest and involvement in the important years of my childhood, I would’ve never had the confidence to try out for that cheeleading squad, setting the tone for the rest of my days, right up to the present.
I am deeply grateful that my dad got to see me design my career, raise my family, and see me retire, because, in effect, I am a piece of his legacy, as are all the children whose lives I have touched in my teaching career. Wow. I am totally amazed to realize how much my dad was responsible for the person I am today.
My Dad. My hero. Thanks, dad, for filling the void.
And so, as another day goes by, I encourage you to explore the voids in your life, and….I have written.
For fun – a throwback photo from 2010:
Me N’ My Dad:
June 7th, 2014 My last post was May 27th. Today is June 7. Really? I haven’t had a thought worthwhile of sharing since may 27? No. That’s not the case. I have thoughts. Everyday. Good thoughts that you might like to hear, except I have no time to sit down and flesh them out into a readable post. That is frustration at its best.
I have thoughts to tell you about like this one:
Right now I’m working double shifts to cover my manager’s vacation, I need to make my final payment for the upcoming wedding – 31 days! Yikes! I still need to find rope to make the chair decorations, I need to finish wire wrapping the centerpiece decorations, then there’s the house and yard – that never ends – and on top of all that I have to illustrate this book by the first week of August. No time. Today I worked from 9-12. Don’t get me wrong – I loved it. I helped some lovely people get their fitness life started. Then I worked out myself. I haven’t had a chance to work out since Tuesday and I’ve been stressing over it. When I left at two o’clock, I was thinking of all the stuff I could get done this afternoon, getting more stressed, and then I stopped. I remembered a devotional a friend of mine sent out this week. It said, “beware of your strength against those challenges. You have Me (God) beside you, so no set of circumstances is too much for you to handle.”
I took immense comfort in that, then I changed my plans. I thought to myself This is the first beach day on Cape Cod after a long, cold winter. You live here. Are you going to miss it?
Not on your life! Steve, (Erin’s fiancé) I went “beachin'” today! Took my chair and radio and spent a glorious two hours sleeping on the sand and watching the tide come in! Came back relaxed and refreshed to go to dinner with my husband (who JUST arrived a day late after an absolutely horrendous work week).
Today I learned not to stand against the mountain and feel how small I am. Instead, I let go, gave it to my God and appreciated everything about the mountains before me. I don’t HAVE to climb them – I GET to.
And so, as another day goes by, I’m thankful for these few moments I’ve been given to share my thoughts with you, I’m not going to measure myself against the mountains in my life, and…I have written.
May 27th, 2014 Someone has some good information or product for sale. I purchase it and actually like it and benefit from it. I begin to think this person is really credible as I take some of their advice or use their product and find it really works. Then they persist in ruining my opinion of them by flooding my mailbox with more offers of better information and products – for free – with a chance to purchase even more good stuff at even higher “sale” prices than the original purchase I made.
I would like to be trusted. Just once I’d like to purchase a product, use it, and be trusted to come back on my own to get more. More often than not their aggressive internet marketing technique repels me. I stop using their product and begin furiously deleting their emails, not because I didn’t like what they were selling, but simply because they made me mad and I no longer care how great their product was or how it solved a problem for me.
Sad to think I’d probably have been a customer for life if they had just respected my initial purchase and appreciated me as a customer enough to trust me to come back without the marketing bombardment they assault my mailbox with each morning.
And so, as another day goes by, when someone likes your work or product enough to purchase it, be respectful of their choice – say thank you and make your product easily available if they want more and leave it at that. I don’t often rant, but the amount of time I spent this morning “unsubscribing” was too much…and I have written…and ranted.
May 25th, 2014 Today my tiny musing won’t fit into 140 characters no matter how hard I try. And that is a good thing because it means writing is becoming easier again. Today is about having a big goal and doing one little thing, the very first step, towards it.
I’ve mentioned in a past post that the time to drag out my book instead of working on other peoples’ projects was drawing near. My timeline? Oh maybe in September when both the wedding and busy summer are over. I was just getting comfortable with that thought when my writer friend Joan said there’s going to be a children’s agent at the conference this year and I should make the appointment and take my book to her. Normally that idea would seem absurd. I’m not ready and all that blah, blah, blah.
The idea actually took hold. But I don’t have the money before the wedding and you have to register now because her time will fill up fast. There. Settled. I don’t have to do this. Then my friend starts talking to my husband about it. He says do it, he’ll pay. Awww…man. Back to square one.
Sitting at writers night out on Wednesday night they passed out conference registration brochures. Someone, not me, took my hand and put a pen in it and made me register on the spot. On the way home I just looked at God (He rides shotgun) and said NOW? Six weeks before the wedding and I have until the first weekend in August to do all that artwork? You pick NOW? This book has been laying dormant for three years and you pick NOW to drag it out?
God just sits there laughing.
Well, what’s done is done and I must find a way to begin by doing one tiny little thing. Before I left for work the next day, I got the book out of it’s hiding place and put it on my desk by the computer. When I got home I picked it up and moved it to my art table in the kitchen. That was Thursday. Since then all I’ve done is walk around it. Glance at. Feel excitement build. And I wait.
I know I must do the cover first, so I’m waiting for the cover to pop in my head. (Make no mistake, once it does, it’ll be done in a matter of minutes.)
And so, after another day goes by, one tiny step is taken, I’m embarking on that white water rafting ride with no paddle, and…I have written.
This is so true for me…
May 24th, 2014 “Nobody is successful in any venture just by wishing they would be. Successful people make a plan and talk to themselves about it consistently.”
~Living Beyond Your Feelings
And so, as another day goes by, shoveling mulch is a great venue for those self conversations, some amazing decisions were plotted out, and…I have written.
Getting there…
May 23rd, 2014 Surrendering to being God’s vessel is like going white water rafting without a paddle – you don’t get to steer – you just hang on!
And so, as another day goes by, more on this tomorrow, stay tuned, and…I have written.
May 22nd, 2014 Did you know you are the master of your day? It’s a simple choice. Choose how you will think today. Good day or bad- choose YOUR path today.
Wow. 140 characters isn’t much. This may not be as easy as I thought it was, but as another day goes by, I did write!
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