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August 16th, 2013 Difficult relationships. I’ve had precious few in my life. I’m involved in Oprah and Deepak’s 21 day meditation challenge on miraculous relationships. Today’s program dealt with difficult relationships. I don’t know about you, but for me, difficult relationships were something to be hated and feared. I didn’t particularly care for the people in some of them, and my goal was to extinguish the relationship. There were a few more where I cared very deeply for the people. These were not as easy to expunge from my life.
Today’s mediation program taught me that these kinds of difficult relationships are necessary to learn, grow, and move ourselves forward. They cause us to:
– learn to establish boundaries
– look within for self-examination
– spur us on to embark upon a spiritual journey
Without these relationships to rip us apart and cause us to do the work of rebuilding ourselves, we would stagnate and spiral downward. Today’s program centered on finding appreciation for all relationships. Not just the easy ones. One phrase that stuck with me was learning to appreciate what is, not what we hoped it would be. That’s a centering thought. So many times we focus on what we hope the relationship would be that we completely miss what’s going on in it right in front of us. It may not be pleasant to face, but it is the part that moves us forward.
And so, as another day goes by, I am further enlightened, and…I have written.
August 15th, 2013 What LEGACY do you want to create with your life? What is the central message of your gift to the world and EXACTLY HOW do you get that gift out of the idea stage and MANIFESTED in the actual world?
While you’re still alive.
If ever I was posed a question that made me take a few steps back, this was it. I was asked this question in the blog post Is It Time To Quit? Or, Is It Time To Begin? by Jennifer Boykin. Now there is a gal who took this question and answered it by developing her blog, Life After Tampons. The central message to her gift is stated in her tagline, Quit Bitching. Change Your Life. Kinda makes you wanna jump up and spring into action making changes you’ve been contemplating, but couldn’t find the energy to move on, huh? It makes me feel that way when I spend time on Jennifer’s page. And she certainly manifested it out there in the actual world. Her blog has a big following. Jennifer made a business out of life-coaching, speaking, writing the material for and teaching courses, and giving free webinars. She walks the walk and teaches others how to do it, too.
So. Now it’s my turn. What legacy do I want to create with my life? That’s quite a question in itself. I’d say I’d like to leave a lot of little footprints in the lives of the children I have the pleasure to teach. If, in the course of my teaching career, I inspire even one child to go out there and and become whatever they dream of being, I will have left my legacy by being the very best teacher I can be. Getting it out there, now that I’m retired, required a little ingenuity and reinvention. Through this blog and my iTeach site, I hope I can continue to help both children and adults to step out, try new things, and explore their dreams. Jennifer has been a great mentor and role model and I hope I can pass it on and do the same.
What about you? How would you answer:
What LEGACY do you want to create with your life? What is the central message of your gift to the world and EXACTLY HOW do you get that gift out of the idea stage and MANIFESTED in the actual world?
While you’re still alive.
And so, as another day goes by, every now and then it’s good to tackle the the big questions (and actually take the time to answer them), and …I have written.
August 14th, 2013 Today was an amazing day. I spent it with my daughter – meeting with the wedding planner, having lunch with her and my dear friend, then going out to dinner, talking more wedding plans..etc. This is a first for me. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with it all. And the fact that it’s all happening on my 60th birthday…well…it’s exactly what I said yesterday…I’m ’rounding the bend. This is a whole new venue in my life. Who do I have to thank for bringing me to this point in my life? My God, the one who watches over me and leads my way.
This life is not mine. I committed my life to my Lord on July 30, 1971. Since then it’s been amazing. Take, for instance, this wedding thing. I didn’t know how to make my daughter’s dream of a Cape Cod beach wedding come true so I threw it into His hands. Literally two days later it was in the bag. This is only one of my “God moments”. I have a notebook full of the times my lord has swooped in and done something amazing when I let go and gave it all to Him.
But what about the times I gave it to Him, but took it back? Those are the times I behaved badly toward God. I kicked and screamed like a child. It’s said over and over that “we are all God’s children” – could this be what is meant by that? Probably not, but I behave that way a lot. I stamp around telling God I want what I want and when I want it. Then I’m surprised when I don’t get it.
As I’m ’rounding the bend so to speak, I’ve decided this childish behavior needs to stop. It’s about time I took a step toward maturity in my faith. Instead of asking God for something and then taking it back and trying to forge it myself, I need to do what I did with this wedding. That day was so poignant. I was walking the beach and I just flung my dilemma up to God, out over the water, and walked away. I never looked back. I never took it back. And two days later He took care of it all.
That day has slowly become an intangible touchstone for other situations I continue to grapple with. Tonight my daughter and I sat up talking until late out in the garage. After all the wedding talk was done, we talked about life things. Through the course of our conversation I began to realize what I need to do. Take these other things I hold on to, fling them up to God, and commit to it once and for all. Stop this back and forth stuff. My daughter called me out on it. When did my daughter grow up and get so wise?
And so, as another day goes by, I’m beginning to peek around the bend, I appreciate my daughter’s patience, honesty and friendship, and…I have written.
August 13th, 2013 Currently I’m reading Return To Sullivan’s Island (Lowcountry Tales) by Dorothea Benton Frank. Her writing is not as deep and heart touching as Kristin Hannah, but the books flow with a great storyline. Last night I came across two thoughts that, today, on the morning of my sixtieth birthday, intersected. One was that two days of our lives are written by God – the day we were born and the day we die. What we do with all the days in between is up to us. (Even as a Christian, I do believe that, because God gave us free will – a topic for another day.) The other thought that stuck in my brain was that of ’rounding the bend – the lowcountry phrase for when a person moves from one place in life to another. I would say the morning of my sixtieth is the perfect time to contemplate these ideas.
For me, ’rounding the bend represents each new decade of my life. Today my fifties are over. When I go to Koko Fit Club this morning I will type in 60 for my age for the first time. I notice didn’t make an issue of typing in 59 for the last time yesterday. Why? Because my nature is always looking forward. I love the anticipation of what’s new “around the bend”. My fifties were about finishing raising my children and discovering who I was (and am) without them tethered to my hip. Reflecting on Sunday’s post about what they did for our sixtieth birthdays (hubby turned sixty in July) showed they are truly adults, in their own right. Today I “round the bend” thinking – wait – no, not thinking – but KNOWING they will be forever able to stand on their own two feet.
With the umbilical cord cut after 32 years, my sixties are now MY time. Not “my time” when I have time in between the children’s life problems. No. They are perfectly able to handle their own life situations with nothing more than an occasional listening ear from me. This decade is about reinvention. Forging out a writing and illustrating career, taking extra special care of my body so on this day, ten years from now, I’m still heading out the door to fit club, challenging my mind with ideas and concepts that will, in turn, nurture my soul. ‘Rounding the bend is exciting. I can’t wait to immerse myself into my new decade.
And so, as another day goes by, I love ’rounding the bend, anticipating the sights and sounds of the new carnival ride ahead, and…for the first time in my “sixties”, I have written.
August 12th, 2013 “Real life isn’t always going to be perfect or go our way, but the recurring acknowledgement of what is working in our lives can help us not only survive but surmount our difficulties.”
– Sarah Ban Breathnach
This seems to be a reoccurring theme with me this year – what to do-think-say when things go wrong. Sometimes I find I need to write about things a few times before I actually can put them into practice – aka: remember them in the time of need. This quote came across my desk today and reminded me once again that it’s the reframing of my attitude when faced with difficulty that not only makes me feel better about it, but often times leads me peacefully through it. Sometimes the only frame that fits is walking away entirely and there can be a lot of good found in that. If anything, it shows you what a road you should’ve never gone down in the first place looks like for future reference.
One time, in a difficult situation, a person said to me, “If that’s what you want to think in your head to make yourself feel better, go ahead!” They weren’t being nice. They were hopping mad, but I never forgot that sentence. Ironically it turns out that’s exactly what you have to do in difficult situations. Reframe it. Then pause and look around for the good in it. Stop and think, there’s got to be some good in here somewhere, right? Usually there is. It helps a lot when I remember to stop and do it.
And so, as another day goes by, I sound like a broken record, but it takes 1500 repetitions to learn something to the automatic level, I think I’m only around 750, and…I have written.
August 11th, 2013 I’m finally learning what that phrase means. Yesterday we spent the day in Boston with both of our daughters and said fiancé. They planned a full day to celebrate our 60th birthdays in lieu of a party. We started with lunch on the waterfront at Jerry Remi’s. Next we walked to the Aquarium to see the recently renovated tank. It was amazing. The tank is round and in the center of the building with five viewing levels wrapping its way around it until you reach the top and can look down into it. Divers are in and out of it feeding and takings pictures. After the aquarium, we cabbed out to the Harpoon Brewery thinking we were getting a tour. The instructions weren’t well-explained and we waited 30 or more minutes in the hot sun only to find all we waited for was admission into the pub and all the tours were booked. I wasn’t happy. It was hot. I was tired. And I don’t drink beer – there’s nothing else there to drink. But my family was great – they gave me a glass of water and bought me a tee-shirt and soon I was a happy camper. We walked out of the brewery thinking we were facing a long hot cab ride to Quincey Market, when this gleaming black SUV pulled up and asked us if we wanted a ride. Seeing “Livery” on the license plate, we grabbed the chance to ride in cool style for a mere five bucks apiece. (It seems drivers of celebrities and wealthy people have to just wait around for their employers and do this kind of thing to make extra cash.)
Quincy Market was a success. Then there was a great rest stop on a corner bar, until 6 pm when we set off to walk to Howling At The Moon, a dual piano bar. One of Ashley’s friends joined us and we had a great time. (This time I got a pink tank top.) Dinner was next. We had a fabulous dinner at Panza’s in the North End. We sat right by the open front window – it was like sidewalk dining without being outside. Dinner was topped off down the street at Cafe Victoria with tiramisu, spumoni, and North End Expresso Martini’s. The evening ended with a room at the Weston on the waterfront for my husband and I. We hugged our kids goodbye at 12:30 am and were never so glad to have a hotel room in our lives. Cost to us for the day? Zero. The kids planned, paid for and executed it all.
I’m certain by now you are thinking I must have great kids. You’re right, I do. Both are successful, self-sufficient, happy, well-adjusted adults – and that was no accident. When I look at my girls and think what miracles they are and how blessed I am, I once again realize they are not miracles. It was the hours both my husband I invested over the years being present in the moments of their lives that gave them the tools they needed to become the people they are today. Yesterday they were entirely in the moment laughing and trekking us all over Boston, repeating what we used to do for them. I sat there looking at them across the numerous tables throughout the day and remembered how we were always actively engaged in all the moments of their lives from ball games to dinner every night, not to mention all the hours driving them to and fro and talking with them, not letting our minds shift to our own jobs and responsibilities.
Yes, yesterday there were things and other people on the back burner of my mind, but I left them there. Once again my husband and I fully participated in each moment that unfolded throughout the day. It is a proven fact that children will grow up and treat others as they were treated when they were young. The proof of that theory was taking my suitcase and lining us up for a family photo as soon as we arrived. And the best thing? My husband and I have given our future grandchildren a gift because we can be confident that our daughters will treat their children as they were treating us yesterday.
And so, as another day goes by, what goes around certainly does come around, a big hug and an big thank you to Erin and Steve and Ashley for that most amazing day, Dad and I love you guys, and… I have written.
August 10th, 2013 Tomorrow, folks, tomorrow. Today I learned a lot of wonderful things about love and family. Tomorrow I will share. As for tonight, staying in the moment and enjoying it.
And so, as another day goes by, today we discovered the north end in Boston, and …I have written.
August 9th, 2013 It’s the last day of the Cape Cod Writers Center Annual Conference. Though the amount of learning I acquired this week was insurmountable, it was today that made the most impact.
On the last day, in every class, we have to fill out course evaluations. My e-pub teacher was great and I couldn’t have given him higher marks for providing me with the tools I need to e-publish my books, but it was in my Writing For Young Children class that the impact was made when I sat down with that evaluation sheet. The question was: What did you learn in this class? My answer was: authenticity trumps all.
Adam Gamble is a highly spiritual and intuitive teacher. Authenticity is something that is near and dear to my heart when writing for children, and he kept that first and foremost throughout the class. Every other class I’ve taken in children’s writing focused only on the mechanics. Adam drew in the emotion, the writing from the heart, that thing that a picture book has to have to touch and connect with heart and mind of a young child.
Today’s class was on writing beginnings. After we shared our work a bit, Adam told us not to go crazy trying to find a catchy beginning. Now we all know, to be a page turner, a book has to have a beginning that grabs you. It’s the way you go about developing this beginning that set Adam’s teaching apart from the rest. He told to just write the story – write it from the heart. Then go back and reread it until you find that place where the action starts. There’s your beginning. Trying to write a catchy beginning before you write the story will make it sound contrived and fake and any good editor will spot that in a second.
Do you even understand how freeing this is to me as a writer? Just start writing. Forget about the rules and bells and whistles and just write. He said it’s like cake. You can follow the recipe and bake it, but until you actually stick the fork in it, you’ll never know what it tastes like. Just start writing the story. Wow. He inspired me to go get out my stories and work on them. I have never walked away from a children’s writing class this inspired. Thank you, Adam Gamble, for coming to teach and inspire us.
And so, as another summer camp goes by, watch for my books on Amazon, and…I have written.
August 9th, 2013 Tomorrow is the last day of summer camp and tonight we did something we’ve never done before. We held a banquet just to be together after a wonderful week at “writing camp”. Bonds were formed, camaraderie was evident, business cards and emails were exchanged and hugs were hugged.
Whether it be writers, teachers, artists, musicians, or in my husband’s case, anodizers, aluminum extruders, and waste treatment operators, it’s important to commune with one’s community. It’s fine, and even necessary, to hole up and create our craft, but there must be time for sharing the work and the personalities and the lives of others that spend time doing whatever it is we do.
When a writer or an artist comes out of the cocoon to share and help others, connections are formed and the spirit is nourished. The world opens up and clarity takes hold. People that are different from us, with ideas we, ourselves, never entertained, inspire and enrich us.
This is true for any profession. If you get the chance to attend conferences and trainings offered in your area of expertise, go – and partake. Be open to all the classes, lectures, and trainings offered. By spending time with your “birds of a feather” you will shed old, tattered worn out feathers and arrive back home on the job with a whole new set.
I’d like to thank Adam and Brian, my teachers this week. Adam shared his life and made us stop and think about what we were trying to communicate to children by the stories we create and Brian showed us the path to publishing those stories and getting them out there. I come away from both classes confident and inspired that I’m right where I’m supposed to be doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing.
Working in the bookstore introduced me to people in other classes that I would’ve never had the pleasure of meeting. We shared war stories and chatted up the hundreds of books surrounding us. I’m amazed at the neighbors I met that live in my town. Working in the bookstore reminded me just how very vast the world is – even on my small island. There is no need to travel far and wide to experience people from all walks of life – just attend the Cape Cod Writers Center annual conference.
And so, as another day goes by, this camper goes to bed happy, and…I have written.
August 7th, 2013 I was a voracious reader from the days of Nancy Drew and The Bobbsey Twins. I was fascinated with books. It seemed ominous to my nine year old self to make a book. Authors, to me, were rockstars. Writing a book was just something so unattainable – like trying to be an NFL star quarterback. The idea of writing so many words and telling a great story was something I couldn’t ever imagine myself doing.
When I went to college for teaching, I fell in love with children’s books. The best class was my Children’s Literature class with Dr. Haller. She instilled in me my love for picture books and my deep appreciation for a story gently and brilliantly told. The best ever assignment was writing our own picture book. Back then I had to use a spiral bound sketch book and construction paper. I still have the book. The idea of me even attempting to publish a real book grew even more remote, even though I always wanted to create the same kind of beauty I found in picture books.
When I became a teacher four years later, children’s books and teaching through literature was the heart of my classrooms in both fourth grade and kindergarten. Teaching children to write their own stories and create there own books was at the center of my curriculum. With the onset of computers in the eighties, my fourth graders were among the first to create writing on a word processor and print it out. My kindergarten classes, in my last four years of teaching, each wrote and published a hard cover book.
“Book making” had come a long way from my sketchbook and construction paper mode, but still, the idea of ever seeing anything I wrote or illustrated in any kind of print whatsoever was not even on my radar. Four years ago when I retired and decided to resume my own writing once more, that world of getting published was even more unattainable. Millions of books get submitted to publishing houses each year. The slush piles are huge. I had a better chance of winning the lottery.
Now, four years later, here I sit in an e-publishing class seeing my book on a kindle. The moment was one of awe. The best part is my teacher was so awesome that I am confident I can get both novels and picture books up on Kindle and Barnes & Noble Nook and do it all by myself. The first two days of the class moved a bit slow and involved a lot about marketing. Today we got down to the business of “book making” and something that was so unattainable for most of my love affair with books, is now at my beck and call – sitting at my fingertips, waiting for a few keystrokes, and voila! It’s a book. Up on Amazon for purchase. Wow.
And so, as another day goes by, in its small way it was an epic day in the journey from sketchbook publishing to e-book publishing, and… I have written.
Coming soon!
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