My daily “rebel rouse” from Lisa Marie Selow, author of The Mystic Chic Rebel, said:
“If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.” ~ Abraham Maslow
At first I laughed, then I thought wow, how true. I decided to look around my own toolbox. I discovered a wrench. I use this on some problems because some solutions come about by loosening the grip and gently letting go. I also found a screwdriver because some solutions need to be driven home slowly, with repetition. Near the bottom of the box I found a package of all different size allen wrenches. I need these because no two problems are the same size and shape. Lying against the side of the box, I found the most important tool of all. My beloved level. Problems need a level head, not frenetic impulsiveness. All things must be handled with a delicate balance of give and take. Lastly, my tools need a master toolbox where they are kept and are available to me at a moments notice. You know – for those times something out of the blue knocks your world out of kilter.
What about your toolbox? Do you have another handy tool I should go out and get? And what about power tools? Are they useful? I’d love to hear your thoughts on building a master toolbox.
And so, as another day goes by, tonight the toolbox is closed, for the first time in over two years there are no problems to work on, and…I have written.
Photo from this week’s ocean storm…
Recently I have gone through a hard time with my sister-in-law’s cancer. I’m so glad I have so much support from my friends here on the Cape. Many times I would hesitate to say what was wrong when asked. You know that feeling – everyone has their own bag of stuff and they don’t need me adding to it. Little did I know that I was actually being selfish by thinking that way. The day before her brain surgery I read a post by Lisa Jones on her blog “Just Here. Just Now”. It’s a great blog and Lisa is an insightful person as well as a great writer. The title of this particular post was: Cry It Out: Accept Compassion. Usually I read posts encouraging the giving of compassion and this one stood out because it was about accepting compassion. Lisa’s ideas were so well expressed that I won’t even try to paraphrase them. I’ll just provide the link below to her post.
Take note of the blog title and tagline. Just here. Just now. Celebrating the only moment we ever have. Isn’t that the truth?
And so, as another day goes by, thank you Lisa for your thoughts….thoughts I needed at an opportune time, thank you, all my friends, both near and far for your support and prayers, thank you God for the miracle of healing you performed, I will spend the weekend being “just here, just now”, and….I have written. Just Here. Just Now.
Today Laurie Grenier from QVC and Shark Tank was on CBS this morning. When asked how she started her business and grew it into what it is today, she painted a great picture. She said, ” It’s like an elevator – there’s no shortcut to the penthouse. You have to stop on every floor.” This was great for me for two reasons: 1) I’m a visual learner and 2) I’m always looking for the shortest distance from A to Z. In some ways that’s a good trait, but the most important things in life are hard to come by and riding the elevator to the top does necessitate stopping on each and every floor.
My visual depicts a glass elevator with about 24 floors. Each floor has boxes on one side that need to be opened, gone through, and moved to the other side. The first few floors have a ton of boxes, the middle floors not so much, but the last few floors, just under the penthouse, have the most boxes and will require extensive stays on each one. The penthouse contains the prize. (Eye on the prize as the saying goes.)
Before you can even press the button to enter the elevator, you have to identify the prize, whether it be a work or career goal, a relationship goal, or even a personal development or self-improvement goal. You have to want it really bad in order to be willing to spend time on each of the 24 floors moving those boxes, sweating, fighting feelings of wanting to give up, etc. It ain’t easy. It never was meant to be. There are gifts and lessons hidden in each box and you need to spend time opening each one and repositioning it. To skip even one box would be to move to a new floor without vital information needed to be successful there.
The middle floors contain fewer boxes. This is for encouragement, because the floors just below the penthouse present the biggest challenge. Hard things usually get worse, and even harder, before they get better.
Don’t despair if it feels like you’re never getting off of the floor you’re on. If the prize in that penthouse is worth it to you, just keep opening and shlepping those boxes. The view from above will be magnificent.
And so, as another day goes by, enjoy the ride, work hard and learn on every floor, remember there are no shortcuts to the top, and, eventually, enjoy the view, and …..I have written.
Did you ever have to put your faith and trust in the hands of another? For a control freak this is a travesty. People like me who always want their ducks in a row and go to great lengths to put them there, can’t do this. Or, can we? How about it all you type A control freaks that want to make everything perfect for everyone out there? Can you give it over? Can you give up the reigns and let someone else drive for THEIR own good and not yours?
Lately I’m called to the carpet to do this and dammit I will. If you love someone enough you will be able to put your own comforts and agendas aside and let them take the reigns and do what they need to do to grow a better person in themselves. There are a few on my heart that I would love to just swoop in and save right now. One is my sister-in-law, who at this very moment in is in the fourth hour of brain surgery to fight her cancer.
I’m many miles away and all I have is God. Did you hear what I just said? I can’t believe I said that. All I have is God. If I have God I have everything, no matter how far away from my loved ones I am. All day today God has been traversing the miles on my behalf. All day He has put angels in my path that sat and prayed with me. Once again the tremendous power to accept what I cannot change comes in the throws of prayer.
Tonight I write in honor of my sister-in-law Sharon who is so brave and courageous and still fighting the big fight, and her husband, my brother John, who has been by her side 24/7 doing whatever needed to be done all these months. When the big C hits you drop everything. The things in your days that were so important and worrisome before, become minuscule now. You take it by the horns and dive in and give it your all, but in the end, you have to hand it over. It is ultimately her fight and you can’t swoop in and make it all better. Why God calls certain people to fight the big C is not within my sphere of understanding, but it is for a reason.
Disease, illness, trauma, and broken people and relationships are the curriculum in the school of life and monumental lessons are learned and lives are changed by those who stand up, fight, and do the hard things demanded of them to save their own life. My sister-in -law is one of these people.
I just got word she is out of surgery, they got both tumors and everything is fine. Amazing. And to think I said all I had was God.
And so, as another day goes by, thank you Lord for many prayers answered today, I’m learning to hand it over, and…I have written.
Dreams do that. They lie out there like the waves glinting on the water and move….ever so subtly through the back of my mind. No matter what I’m doing, I’m aware of those dreams, clicking like a wave on the shore, rippling underneath and giving energy and motion to my days.
Whether I’m washing dishes, doing yoga, reading a book, watching TV, driving, even playing Words With Friends, my dreams are discreetly powering the activity. I think that’s why there are so many posts on Facebook about never giving up on your dreams. You garner powerful energy from always having them beckoning you to keep trying, keep moving.
I’m a big believer in not giving up on something you believe in. Time goes by. Obstacle after obstacle slows you down. Realizing a dream requires tremendous patience. Turn these impediments around and make them foster life-giving energy. The pushing through, the propelling, like the constant movement of the waves on the water, infuses us with energy.
And so, as another day goes by, again, I repeat the signature that has graced my emails and propelled me through many hard, long days….”You can’t give up on the things you love – not ever.” ~ Charlotte, Private Practice, and…I have written.
This photo and poem by my yoga buddy, Gaile Jucenas Callo Nolan, inspired this post. It was a beautiful collaboration. Thanks, Gaile!
People are always saying, “My God is….and your God is…” There is no “my God, your God”. God belongs to everyone. He does not put rules and restrictions on how each of us chooses to have a relationship with Him.
I have wanted to write this post for a very long time, but even though the ideas were clear in my heart, the words were jumbled in my brain. I spent a lot of time reassessing my life-long relationship with God and that’s what I came up with. I dislike using the words “religion” and “Christianity” because man so clearly misunderstood what Jesus was trying to say and made up a bunch of rules and rituals that turned away the people who needed him the most. The majority of us don’t have a problem with picking a church, attending faithfully, and feeling happy and content inside that we are “alright” with God. Then there are those of us (myself included) that wanted more than that from God. I, personally, want God as my very best friend, in thick and thin, accepts me for who I am and doesn’t set up a bunch of rules and rituals that make me feel guilty if I don’t follow them. There is nothing that will erode my relationship with Him faster than fighting guilt over not following rules for relating to God.
I wake up every morning and say the prayer of Jabez with my head still on the pillow. Then I recite Proverbs 16:3 and sit up and say “thank you” as each foot hits the floor. This is the prayer of Jabez:
“Lord, bless me indeed.
Enlarge my territory.
Put your hand on me.
Keep me from evil so I may not cause pain”
And this is my interpretation Proverbs 16:3:
“Lord today I commit all my words and works to you so you may establish my thoughts.”
Yes, before I even step out of bed I ask God to bestow upon me whatever blessings He has for me today so that I may be strong to go out in my world, and with His hand on my shoulder, do what I can to make other lives better in some small way. Then I commit every act and word I will do and speak to him so HE may establish my thoughts. Leaving myself to establish my own thoughts just leads to bad self-talk, breeding sadness and insecurity.
This, to me, is having a relationship with God. I just don’t drop Him for the day after that little morning activity. (Notice I didn’t say ritual – because it was formed out of my relationship with God – not imposed by someone else on me much the same way close bonds and friendships are formed with loved ones.)
God rides shotgun in my car as I make my way around town. God is on the ceiling of the yoga studio when I lay in savasana. At night, my pillow is really his hip that I imagine myself leaning against, closing out the day in thanks and praise. (I actually imagine feeling the rough burlap-like texture of His robe against my cheek.)
Fellowship. Fellowship is touted as being important in having a relationship with God. Fellowship usually means church, but then again, for me, a very different kind of fellowship evolved out of this very personal relationship with God. He directed me, through friends, to my women’s bible study every Wednesday morning. About 30 women of all ages, from all over the cape, from all different churches, and of all different denominations coming together to pray and watch a video and have inspiring discussions about how each of us attain and craft this personal relationship with God. We get to take apart the very hard to understand Bible and are constantly amazed at what is written in there. As we all know, the Bible is a book, but it cannot be read like a book. It’s a history of the past, it’s chronicling what’s happening in our world now in the present, and it’s a predictor of what is to come. The perplexing thing about reading the Bible, as opposed to any other book, is that it is not written chronologically. In our little get together we watch amazing teachers who have spent a lot of time navigating their way through the Bible maze and we learn the amazing truths God wants to communicate to us. And it’s not in a church preaching kind of way either (because I cannot endure preaching or pontificating). The Bible is presented in a manner that begs thinking and your own soul participation.
And this, to me, is building a PERSONAL relationship – not with “my God” or “your God” – but with God, period. If you strike out on your own to build your own personal relationship with Him, I guarantee it will look nothing like mine. Just like your relationships with your friends and family look nothing like mine. How do you start? That is the incredibly easy part. Just ask Him. Just tell Him you want to know Him personally and He will do the rest. Over time you will amaze yourself at the journey He lead you on and the incredible difference in your life after you have asked Him to lead you on a path of getting to know Him personally.
And so, as another day goes by, that, to me is “knowing” God, it finally feels great to have written this post, and…I have written . Open it……
Not too long ago I cited Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote, “Do one thing each day that scares you.” Today I revamped that quote: do one thing everyday that is hard for you.
Tonight I went to night yoga, which for me, is quite unusual because I don’t go to yoga on the weekends. I’ve been doing so well alternating yoga and fit club and it worked with my day today, I just decided to go. Pranayama breathing is always tedious. Tonight was no different. The teacher always encourages us to give our all “to set up our practice”. My goal for the breathing exercise is to simply get it over with. I’m no fool. I don’t want to tire myself out before I even begin the “real” poses by sucking in my stomach and pulling my elbows up past my ears and tilting my head back with my elbows up off of my chest, etc. Since I’ve been going to Koko Fit Club the amazing muscle strength I’ve gained (38%) since October, has been, unbeknownst to me, laying a great foundation for my yoga practice. It is a good, no…it’s a GREAT marriage of the two.
During the breathing exercise, for the first time tonight, I followed each and every bit of dialogue and didn’t even feel the least bit fatigued. Halfway through the first set I just told myself you really should do something hard for once, that’s good for you, and let it help you. This breathing exercise, if done right, WILL set up the rest of your practice and make it even more effective. Taking my own advice I dove into the second set full force. Half moon came next and I found myself trying to adjust and perfect the pose instead of praying it would be over soon. And so it went for the REST of the class. I’m not sure if it was doing the breathing exactly right or my change of attitude that made tonight’s class so awesome, but I didn’t care because I left feeling amazing.
Going tonight freed me from having to do both things in one day tomorrow to get each one in three times this week. Yoga every other day instead of everyday gives my body the time it needs to hydrate and collect those lost electrolytes. Koko in between builds the muscle I need in the hot room so I’m not straining to hold poses. They love each other. I love them both.
I value the lesson the yoga taught me tonight – do one hard thing everyday. Nothing teaches and inspires like stretching to go to a place in something each day you’ve never been before – even if it’s hard. Tomorrow I have another fit test at Koko. That will be my hard thing. I will concentrate, pay attention and try to do each exercise to the best of my ability – until I really can’t do another rep to get a real reading of my progress instead of quitting because I’m afraid it’ll make my next set of exercises too hard.
And so, as another day goes by, pranayama breathing sets up my practice, doing something that is hard sets up my life, and…I have written.
When new things appear on my radar that require me to put in more spiritual work to deal with them, I tend to focus on one aspect of the situation until the focus becomes my focus and I lose perspective entirely. My illustrating project has taught me much about dealing with the things life throws our way by stepping back and regaining that perspective.
I’m done with the book cover and almost done with the first page. I’m using oil pastels and am having a wonderful time pushing color around a page with my fingers and various other objects I find around the house, such as Q-Tips and nail files. The backgrounds are particularly challenging. My face will be so close to the paper as I work the colors together to blend and put shadows and spears of light where they belong, that I sometimes look at the pastel lines and think it’s not quite right. I’m focusing on each little spec and stroke and think to myself, this isn’t how I wanted it to look. In my mind I picture a beautifully blended background of color, but up close it isn’t measuring up. Then my shoulders ache and I back way and I sit up straight. I look at the picture and am in awe of how it comes together. I tack it up on a bulletin board in my kitchen and spend a lot of time looking at it from across the room and thinking, yes, I like it. It is right. How different it looks in it’s magnificent entirety. I spend more time looking at it while I do other things around the house. I notice things that need to be touched up, added or changed. I would not see these little tweaks or the magnificence of the whole picture if my nose was 5 inches from the page and too focused on one aspect of the color.
This project has taught me to step back. Not react. Get a full perspective and spend time walking around it from afar. If being an illustrator has taught me anything, it’s taught me about being in control of myself, as well as the crayon, and not to start scribbling furiously when sunflares cross my radar. (Yes, the sunflares were over by 3 pm yesterday, but they, too, left their mark.) Instead of grabbing my phone and hurling into action, I stand back and stay quiet and look at things from afar. I see the tweaks, but I recognize the beauty of the scene in its entirety.
And so, as another day goes by, it’s hard. Hard to remain quiet and still. It is where true courage to get the job done sometimes lies, and….I have written.
Photo – my own digital painting…with an unknown quote.
My family knows how much I enjoy my mid-afternoon TV time. I eat lunch, read the newspaper, and eventually move on to writing or artwork for the afternoon. They will tell you I’m a creature of severe habit. If for some reason, this time gets interrupted, it’s bothersome. Today I came home from yoga, put my clothes in the wash, showered and made my shake. I turned on the TV and sat down with my newspaper. The sound went off and a message appeared on the screen: This station is temporarily out of service. It will resume shortly. After twenty minutes, a time I call reasonably “shortly”, nothing changed, so I unplugged and reset the cable box. It loaded the stations, the time came on, and when I pushed power I got: apdl. Okay, time for action. I called Comcast:
Comcast: How can I help you?
Me: I explained the above, ending with the apdl message.
C: Oh, I’m so sorry! Are all your boxes getting that message?
Me: Wait I’ll go check. Yes, all of them have a service interruption message on them.
C: Okay. Let me run a scan of all your equipment. Give me a few minutes.
Me: No problem. Take your time.
C: I found a service interruption in your signal. I’m so sorry. Let me see how soon we can get a technician out there.
Me: Okay.
C: You are not going to believe this. I have to read you the message I got for the reason for your interruption.
Me: Okay
C: Sunflares will be disrupting services through March 15. These disruptions occur for 15 days in early spring and fall. Service interruption will be for about an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon, resuming normally after 7pm in the evening. We are currently upgrading our lines to avoid sunflare interruption in the future.
Me: What?!
C: Yes! Isn’t it crazy?
Me: Sooooo…..I just wait?
C: Yes. I’m sorry for the inconvenience. Is there anything else I can help you with?
Me: Uh…no.
C: Okay, have a nice day!
Are you kidding me? Sunflares? I hate cable companies as much as I hate going to the DMV. It’s been three hours and the sunflares are still interrupting my service. And on Y&R, Brook was going to walk in on Eric and Taylor making out and now I missed the look on her face due to sunflares. I’m back to work writing and illustrating in a quiet house devoid of The Talk. I’m sure I missed some huge celebrity news on that show today. Sunflares. Are you kidding me? I guess they’re not.
And so, as another day goes by, I guess that was my new thing to learn today, and…. I have written.
In the next few days this blog will be moving to a new home. After two and a half years of faithful writing on my part, and faithful reading and commenting on your part, I'm proud to announce Another Day Goes By will have it's own copyrighted website, owned by me and will now be found at:
It will still publish daily on Facebook and Twitter, for those of you that follow from there. All Facebook "likes" have migrated with the blog to it's new home on the web, so you shouldn't have to "like" it again.
The reason I did this was to move this blog from Typepad to WordPress, where I will have much more versatility in the ways I bring content to you. Also, all of my posts will now be copyrighted and owned by me. Typepad really owned my blog before and I felt I was leaving my content out there, exposed to risk.
This is going to present new challenges for me. You know that doesn't scare me. Many times have I quoted Eleanor Roosevelt – "Do one thing everyday that scares you." It says that on my gym bag and I read that message daily. Moving this whole blog was scary. It took months for my friend to help me see the light, so to speak, and then weeks to make the decision. Now I have to learn a whole new program, so if things get a little goofy or don't appear as usual, be patient. I'll get it down soon and I'll enjoy doing it.
And so, as another day goes by, I'd like to thank my friend Christine for the nudging and support, we will now "live" happily ever after on the web, hosted by her company Blue Shoe Strategies, and…I have written.
Remember – Everyday……… (check out related article below – so cool!)
