CEO Yahoo mom, Marissa Mayer, was a spotlight in the news this morning after she announced there would be no more working from home at Yahoo. Her reasons were solid and made valid points in running a business. I don't for a moment disagree with any of them. However, and it's a big however, she made a sweeping decision that affected hundreds of her employees across the board. The very same reason I couldn't vote for Mitt.
Sweeping decisions made in one fell swoop, cutting down all the trees to barren wasteland, are almost never beneficial to the greater good. She has caused all kinds of uproar within her own company, as well as with working moms across the country. Now, I don't know if that was part of her secret vision in her business plan – to create increased awareness, positive or negative, but it can't be good or helpful.
Then there's the question posed by CBS This Morning: Does Mayer have a responsibility to be a role model for all working moms? (throw in the fact that she used her fortune to build herself a nursery attached to her office so her child could be at work with HER all day) has been given a lot. Her lot in life is pretty gracious money wise.
To answer the question – yes, she does, because our inherent reason for being is to take that which we have been given, whether it be substantial or meager, give gratitude, then use it to enhance the lives of others. Wouldn't a better solution to the same end have been to reduce work from home days to only one per week? Or how about instead of her own private nursery, build a company daycare? I think four days a week is long enough to hobnob at the water cooler, and at least one work from day helps so many moms perform better at their job.
And so, as another day goes by, we must get up everyday and do whatever is that we do, with consistency and integrity, and…I have written.
Today my nephew’s fiancé posted a great quote on Facebook:
“Do you know what makes life confusing? When you can’t determine if things are signs for you to give up or simply a test to see if you can hold on longer….”
~ Unknown
That’s the true epitome of confusion if I ever saw it. I have had my share of God sightings and whispers and so far they (or He) have not let me down yet. Usually when I’m unsure of which one of those paths to take, I say a simple prayer, “Just give me a sign Lord. Lead me down the road that is your way.” Nine times out of ten, (make that ten out of ten) He always comes through. The funny part is I always forget I prayed the prayer, then, two days later, when I least expect it, the sign appears. I always realize, in shock, that a few days ago I asked for a sign and here it is.
The signs come in emails, Facebook posts, pictures, even in something my husband says the next morning. Many times there is no way the connections could be made, except by the divine. Every time I’m left saying, “Are you kidding me?” no matter how many times it happens. So far I’ve been taught not to walk away. Each time I make the effort or pose the question to God, He redirects me. Turns me right around, just like a parent would, and seems to say, “March right back in their young lady and get back to it.” Its the only way I can sort out this kind of confusion.
And so, as another day goes by, the great Agatha Christie once said, “I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing”, – such is life, and…I have written.
When I think of vacations immediately thoughts of suitcases and planes appear in my mind. Today I experienced a different type of vacation. The last ten days have been out of the norm for me due to company, storms, and travel. I arrived home from NY this afternoon and my wires were crossed and my mind can only be described as mishmash. I tried just sitting quietly, letting go of all thoughts. That didn’t work. It made me more anxious. Finally at 5:30 I got up out of my chair and headed for night yoga.
The room was super hot when I arrived. I laid down in the heat and let the cold seep out of my body. Then class started. The standing series went well until tree. I sat out during both sets. I did toe stand sitting on the floor, if that’s even possible. The spine series wasn’t too bad, but camel and rabbit took all I had. Ever so slowly I felt the wires uncrossing and the mishmash fizzle away. (I think all of that happened during camel.) Sometimes when poses are hard or draining, that’s when the yoga is doing its best work.
Driving home never felt so good. It was a quiet night on the Cape. No wind, about 40 degrees, and a huge full moon. Pulling into the driveway, the moon was positioned perfectly in between the trees. I got out of the car to take pics and that’s when I felt it. I felt like I was on a mini vacation and I just arrived home, connected and relaxed. Getting up and going to yoga was definitely the right decision.
And so, as another day goes by, sometimes a vacation just involves stepping away for a bit – maybe only going as far as the yoga studio, and …I have written.
I was busy painting while watching the NASCAR pre-show. They were interviewing Clint Bowyer. My head snapped up when I heard him say, “How the hell did this happen?” in reference to where he is today. They showed him in his gorgeous car and home. He said, “I never had money, I’m just a boy from Kansas, and when you get this much, what do you do with it? How the hell did this happen?”
The reason his statement caused me to look up and watch the interview is because I remember myself saying that to people in reference to my own life. I still sit in awe of a little girl in rural upstate NY that spent all her free time alone in her backyard conversing with her imaginary friends. This little girl and her friends always lived and played in fancy imaginary surroundings. She dressed in elastic waste corduroy pants that fell well above her ankles, a cotton long sleeved shirt that barely covered her middle, and a mass of unruly blonde curls sat on her head – at TWELVE years old. Can you imagine a twelve year old dressing that way today? Well, they didn’t back then either, but her parents didn’t have a clue about preteen fashion trends and there wasn’t much money to do anything about it, even if they did.
When that little girl was in high school her parents didn’t have any idea of what her schoolwork consisted of or how to help their child get into college. In fact, college was all her idea and she had to do it all herself. She just more or less informed her parents of the steps along the way and told them what their part was in getting herself there.
I sit in awe of that little girl because coming from her sheltered, rural upbringing, there was not a lot of chance that she would get to where I am today without divine guidance – guidance that she didn’t even ask for. Looking back on the chances of me coming out of that home with parents only concentrating on keeping four kids fed and clothed and giving them a decent amount of amenities, was just pure luck that I made the choices I made and here I am today happily retired here on Cape Cod, after an amazing career. I, too, like Clint Bowyer, look around and say, “How the hell did this happen?”
I empathized with what he was getting at. The difference between us being that he is a high profile person, and I’m just an everyday ordinary person, but – we both had the same kind of life and today look back on it and utter the very same words.
You don’t have to end up a movie star, a pro athlete or a rockstar to have an amazing life and be able to say, “How the hell did this happen?” in reference to it. If I could do it, anybody can do it. Look around and be amazed at what you have accomplished against some challenging odds already. You are amazing. Bask for a few minutes in the glory of what you were able to do.
And so, as another day goes by, when Danika took pole position next to Jeff Gordon, who she idolized at ten years old, I’ll bet she, too, stood there today and said, “How the hell did this happen?”, and…I have written.
Photo: Mine. Umbrella hanging from the ceiling at our local garden center.
I brought a few projects with me to NY this weekend and planned to work on them while my husband was at work, but I had one of those days where I just couldn’t settle into either art or writing. “Go shopping. Go shopping.” kept niggling in the back of my mind. I can’t waste time going shopping – I have things I need to sit here and do. It seemed the more I sat and tried to do those things, the more anxious I became and the less I could do. Maybe shopping for totally irrelevant things would get me out of my head. In our NY town a new Kohl’s just opened. I had never shopped in that store before and today seemed like the day to check it out. I spent almost two hours in the store browsing, trying things on, picking through jewelry, etc. It felt good to not think – just to pay attention to the object in my hand at the moment. Along with the bargains, I picked up some peace of mind.
Did you know that only 5% of our thoughts are conscious and 95% are subconscious? Sometimes that 5% works way too hard and burns itself out and the subconscious must be allowed to take over. By not thinking, and just focusing on that gorgeous yellow top in my hand and trying match a piece of jewelry to it, my subconscious was free to do it’s thing. When I arrived back home I put away my treasures and sat down with my paints. All of a sudden I had new ideas and new solutions to the problems I faced in the morning.
When something gets hard or frustrating, instead of pushing through it, put it down and give your conscious mind a break. It’s not a waste of time. It’s valuable time well-spent.
And so, as another day goes by, it’s time to once again free my subconscious to do its thing while I sleep, and….I have written.
There is a a lot talk in the spirituality realm these days about being in the present. This is a hard concept for me. I mean, how hard is it to stay present, when, your, well…present? I pay attention to what I’m doing when I’m doing it, so I’m present, right? I thought so until I was having lunch in the middle of a busy day with a friend. I started to say, “After this, I have to be…” and she stopped me and said, “Stop. Forget about where you have to be. Enjoy this, here and now.” We laughed, but that statement struck me. Now I get it. You can actually be someplace without being there because your mind is already racing to where you have to be in the future.
I noticed on my drive to NY today that I concentrated not only on the road, but the weather, music, my snack in the car, and the great drive I was having. For most of these trips, other than the road, I thought and rethought thoughts about a past relationship I was struggling letting go of. I thought so much I arrived in NY exhausted and with a tremendous stress headache. Today was decidedly different. I arrived with a lot of energy and no headachy feeling. Could it be that staying in the present gives the mind a break of some sort – much in the same way sleep and dreams do?
Tonight when I opened up my Spark People quote of the day I found the quote below. Sometimes it IS absolutely necessary to think about nothing in order to let the present seep in and claim you.
And so, as another day goes by, presently it’s late and I’m going to feel my head on the pillow and think only about rest at the end of a busy day, and…I have written.
* artwork – mine. (I have made a commitment to my blog group to stop stealing pictures and use my own artwork in my posts when I want to use a quote)
Trying anything new is always trying. I'm deep into my illustrating project and I'm visiting places I've been before. The whole progression was a learning curve. First I designed my characters. Then I did a storyboard of each page. Those parts went fairly well. Next I had to find out the specifications and format I had to submit it in. That took more digging, but I got it now. Last comes the hardest part of all…deciding what medium to use to create each page. I had to spend a lot of time experimenting and watching how color combines and behaves in watercolor and oil pastels. I found a picture of an ambitious fish painting exercise (for me anyway) done in oil pastel with an underwash of colored pencil. I was nervous to try, but the teacher was good and I learned a lot. It's not bad.
I learned I really liked the method and used it to begin my first page today. It's quite a different road when there's no teacher to follow step by step. It's all up to me – the line drawing and the choosing and mixing of colors. It's scary to step out on my own on a blank sheet of paper. At first I struggled, but I didn't give up. I did one, and used it to experiment on. I'm half way through another one of the same page. I'm keeping calm and being patient with myself – after all, I can do as many as I need to until I like one.
It was fun to sit and paint all day in my PJ's and then go to night yoga. In savasana my teacher was coaching newbies. She said, "Lying still and breathing through your nose are learned behaviors. It takes time and patience." I laid there, still and breathing easily through my nose, thinking about how I couldn't do this in my early Bikram days. Remember my blogs about how I thought I was absolutely positively sure I was going to die in that hot room? And now, I'm in that same place with my illustrating. I have to practice the same kind of patience, over time, that I learned in Bikram. And, give up? Never. Bikram certainly showed me just how much more I'm capable of doing just by sticking with something and riding the learning curve.
And so, as another day goes by, trying new things IS trying – but it is the TRYING and not giving in to fear or frustration that counts, and….I have written.
My breath was knocked out of me at Jean Do's plight because I absolutely cannot imagine my brain being alive and not being able to do what I'm doing now – communicating my thoughts and words to you. But he wrote a whole book AFTER this happened to him. How? Then I read how. One LETTER at a time. How could he put up with the tediousness of doing this? The thought of communicating just this post, letter by letter, shoots a fear right through me, let alone a whole book.
Then it hit me. Where did he have to go? Nowhere. He couldn't move anything except one eye. What deadlines in life did he have to meet? None. All he could do was think clearly. There was no hurry. Plodding along, letter by letter, was absolutely the right thing to do – tediousness aside. Who cared how long it took to finish? Clearly it was better than lying there with all those thoughts bursting to get out and not doing ANYTHING about it. I imagine he woke up on the morning of his first day of beginning the work and wasn't in any hurry at all – despite the tediousness in front of him. What a great space to be in to start such a huge endeavor.
Before I begin my post each day I click on categories and check each one that might in some way be included in my post. Today as I scanned the category list, I practically checked every one of them. Whoa. Why was I doing that? I realized it was because in all of these aspects of my life I hurry and have no patience. I want my artwork finished, my new career as a writer on track, my fit club and Bikram yoga performances flawless, my inner work and spiritual development soaring, my blog to be done well and on time daily, my books illustrated and published, and…..I want it all done NOW.
WHERE am I going so fast? When I retired and had to figure out how to face empty days that came with no instructions, I panicked and had to hurry and figure out how to fill the next 30 years. Now that my days are filled with wonderful, creative, and healthy things to do, I should take a lesson from Jean Do. I have many, many years in front of me, also. I need to relax and enjoy the things I have to do instead of pounding the hell out of them to get them done, out of the way, checked off the list, etc.
And so, as another day goes by, I'm learning there is no top, no place to have to get to, no finish line – just endless days to be present and enjoy who I am and what I do, and….I have written.
Remember being seven and moving that circle of folded paper back and forth and lifting up the flap to see your fortune? Today I got a forward from a friend that transported me back to that era. Those of you who know me, know I don't forward. Everyone has enough stuff in their inbox that they don't need me adding more in the middle of a busy day. But I happen to have caring and considerate friends who only forward me when they know it's something I will enjoy. So far I've learned to protect myself against unmarked cars, how not to get too much radiation, and some really cool household tips. Some forwards have made me laugh out loud so hard I forwarded them to my husband. Others have made me cry or just sit in quiet contemplation. In any case, forwards have changed my thoughts.
The excitement of knowing what the future holds had us in its grasp since grade school. (I think there were even years I believed their predictions were true.) How many of us today love to read our horoscopes? I do. Now I know they aren't true, but I do like having something I'm doing be validated or the promise of brighter days to come when I read my horoscope. It changes my thinking, which changes my mind, which changes my general attitude for the day – much as those games did when I was seven.
The subject title of the forward I received today said, "Psychology or ESP?". This one is just as much fun as those games we played when we were seven. So consider yourself "forwarded" and if you share this post on Facebook, I think you'll have your ten people covered. Lol.
And so, as another day goes by, enjoy it, be seven again, and….I have written (and forwarded).
Psychology or ESP?
This can be spookily accurate!!
Feng shui horoscope
This is a Chinese Feng Shui horoscope. If you are honest this tells the truth. Write your answers on paper. To find your Feng Shui horoscope scroll down.
1. Which is your favourite color: Red, Black, Blue, Green or Yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, Black or White?
5. The name of a person that is the same sex as you?
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like California or Florida more?
8. Do you like a Lake or the Ocean more?
9. Write down a Wish (a realistic one)
When you are done, scroll down. Don't cheat!
Answers:
1. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love affection.
Yellow: You are a very happy person & give good advice to those who are down.
2. If your initial is between:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to live your life to the max & your love life is soon to bloom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future looks very bright.
3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr-Jun: You will have a strong love relationship that will last forever.
Jul-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your life will be great; you will find your soul mate.
4. If you choose:
Black: Your life is about to get better. You are more than ready for the change.
White: You have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
5 This person should be your Best Friend.
6. This is how many close friends you will have in your life time.
7. If you choose:
California : You like adventure.
Florida : You are a laid back person.
8. If you choose:
Lake : You are loyal to your friends and your lover. You are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
9. This wish will come true if you send this to 1 person in one hour. Send
this to ten people and it will come true before your next birthday.
This weekend I spent a lot of time cuddled up reading, eating and drinking – not always the best of stuff either. Today I couldn’t wait to get to fit club. I had a great workout, but then spent the rest of the day fighting off that need to go to yoga because I had sworn off doing both in one day. By noon I knew it wasn’t going to work. I checked the classes and decided to go to the 6:15 class. I figured I’d give myself time to recover from fit club by going to the latest class possible.
This really is a marriage between the two. I kept them apart last week adhering to the schedule I set up and today, and like two deprived lovers they begged to meet on the same day. They both behaved well and got along peacefully. I rocked the standing series. Poses I had trouble with were actually coming to fruition. I think fit club made me fitter for yoga. When I laid down for savasana and looked up at the ceiling to find my cross made out of paint dots, something was weird. I found the cross in its usual place, but the huge mountain I’m trying to climb that always appears next to it as I sing in in my head, “I lift my eyes to the maker of the mountain I can’t climb”, wasn’t there.
Today I had a huge awakening. I figured out that depending on someone else to do something to solve your problem and make everything okay again, just keeps you going round n’ round in that problem. In order to get free, you have to take solving the problem into your own hands. You have to take back the power you gave away.
I had been spinning in the grip of a problem for over two years now, thinking the other person needed to solve it for me. I finally laid out the facts and decided what I was going to do about it, then did it. I didn’t get the solution I was always hoping for, but I got the freedom that is so much more precious.
Never, never depend on the actions of someone else to take away your pain. You cannot control what anyone else does. You can only control your own actions. That is owning the power to decide the way things are going to be in your life and create your own happiness, freedom, and well-being.
And so, as another day goes by, I think I reached the top of the mountain, and…I have written.
Favorite post of the day:
