There’s only one thing to write about tonight – storm prep. New England is facing the worst blizzard we’ve seen in many years. Snow totals here in Sandwich are expected to be in the teens of inches, while off cape it’s over three feet in places. Boston is totally shutting down. All schools are closed, no one necessary for survival of others is allowed to go to work, everyone should be off the roads by noon and the subway is closing at 3:30. This is a bit scary.
Here on the cape I’m a bit worried. There are major flooding concerns from Plymouth to Sandwich, and since there’s a marsh in my front yard, I’m a little concerned. The tide they’re talking about is at 9:44 am Saturday morning. I’m just glad it’s not in the middle of the night. I’ve witnessed some extremely high tides in this marsh, but they’ve never included Sandwich in the flood warnings before. Should have some amazing pics for you on Saturday.
My husband has just arrived on cape and is at Market Basket now getting our food. He texted me that it’s a complete game of bumper cars. When he gets home he’ll start the snow blower and generator and tomorrow we’ll get plenty of gas for each and some logs for the fireplace. We’ll put on a pot of chili and settle in for whatever comes. Usually I like these storms and hurricanes, but the flood watch puts a whole new twist on this one.
What do you do when you’ve done all you can and it’s now out of your control? Since that’s the ever-running story of my life, I’ve learned only too well what to do. Relax. Sit or lay quietly and commit it to God. Stillness and breath and prayer – all that’s left after the food, the gas, and the generator.
And so, as another day goes by, if you are also in the path of this storm, stay safe, prepare, and above all, pray…and…I have written.
Food hell is me in a grocery store buying anything other than paper towels and coconut water. My meeting last night got cancelled so I thought I'd use the time to get my food for my Koko nutrition project. It was a gorgeous sunset and I grabbed my list (after which I spent an hour the day before rummaging through our cupboards to find and check off the stuff we already had) and headed to the local Stop N Shop. I pictured myself spending maybe half and hour perusing the aisles, list in hand.
Two hours and a hundred dollars later, hot and sweaty, I was pushing a full cart out to the car. I'm going to eat all this food? Really? So much for the leisurely perusing. I don't ever buy anything in the middle aisles of a grocery store so this was major work. Tofu? Where in a grocery store do they sell tofu? I think it's cold, but not frozen. I ran into it accidentally while trying to find baby spinach, which I kind of knew the general direction of.
Driving home, totally exhausted, I realized it was now 6 o'clock and I was starving because I had been very diligent about eating the correct foods all day long. Dinner tonight was lemon baked chicken, tossed salad, and quinoa with Italian vegetable sauce. Sounds great, but I still had to haul in and put away the food before I could start making it. Carrying the bags into the house, I already started down on the "this isn't going to work" road. I was so tempted to pull that last healthy choice frozen dinner out of the freezer.
I covered the kitchen island with the mountain of bags and decided I should dig out the chicken breast, make the marinade and get it in the oven before putting everything else away. Did you ever try to chop things in the midst of a heap of grocery bags? Yes? How about if half of the things you needed to chop were still hidden in the myriad of bags?
By the time I had the chicken in the oven, I remembered I had to cook the quinoa and MAKE the Italian sauce. More chopping things I needed to hunt through the bags for. About this time I was sure this wasn't going to work. No – I resolved to do this. I wasn't giving up. This was totally new to me and I know myself. Whenever I attempt anything new, I have to keep at it. I've learned that if I just keep doing it, it gets easier as I learn more and more each day. While cutting the tenth tomato of the night (with the bags still on the counter) I watched the slices and what I call "not quite dices", and thought that after a week I'm going to know how a vegetable behaves when your trying to chop it.
I kept telling myself how much easier this will all get and how much I'm going to learn as I finished the meal. Food cooking, I finally cleaned off the counter. I had so many condiments and such that I knew if I put them in a cabinet I'd never remember what they were. I decided to leave them in a group on the counter.
The food was finally done. I opened the foil on the chicken. It smelled really good, but it looked white – like I poached it. The Italian vegetable sauce was done, but the quinoa still had too much water in it. (Could that be because I started microwaving it, then switched it to a pot on the stove because nothing seemed to be happening in the microwave?)
I finally got it all done, made a plate and ate it. Not bad, but I was immediately contriving shortcuts to this cooking and eating thing, when I realized the point of the whole plan was to make everything from real food, without fat and sugar so it wouldn't stop up my metabolism. Sure enough. All day I ate every two hours and dinner was no exception. By nine o'clock I felt it working. The more of this food combination I took in, the more I needed. I topped off the evening with the smoothie I missed in the morning and that seemed to calm things down so I could go to bed.
Tonight is no exception. The combination of food I ate all day has my metabolism raging. I need to stop writing to make tonight's snack. If I had eaten a regular dinner like I'm used to eating, I wouldn't want any more food until morning, and sometimes I'm still not hungry at breakfast. It's not exactly each individual food, or the fact that it is fresh food, it's the COMBINATION of the different foods that is causing this explosion of my metabolism. I ate more food today than I've eaten in a usual week and I still need more. As soon as you need to eat tons of food every two or three hours, you know it's working. You've found the right combination for you physical make up. I guess I will need that cart full of food after all.
Koko took my muscle mass, my e-BMI, my cardio, and my weight training results, along with a few questions on my website, and designed this food plan. It WILL work – but so will I. This will take focus and I've got to be diligent about it.
And so, as another day goes by, I REALLY need to stop writing this post and get to my snack – I can almost smell the apple with plain Greek yogurt. Who knew that combo would ever excite me? And….I have written.
The food hell laboratory:
Yesterday Koko Fit Club rolled out its nutrition plan to compliment their exercise program. Most of you know I joined Koko in October and have loved every minute of being there. (Goto Kokofitclub.com and/or the related post below to see this phenomenal fitness program). You can imagine how excited I was to go yesterday to take a new strength test and get my new program loaded onto my key. I came home and logged onto my website to see what they had for me.
Just like everything else Koko does, they couldn't have made it simpler. I have a 14 day meal plan, complete with a shopping list for each week, a pantry and frozen food list, along with a staples list. Most things we already have, so it's a matter of fruits and vegetables and some chicken and fish. All the things I already knew were needed for weight loss and muscle building. My problem? I don't know what and how much to buy, and what to do with it when I get it home. You might say that's what recipes are for. Not for me. If I look at a recipe and it has more than 7 ingredients and 4 steps I put down. This system takes good food and makes it simple and presents it in a form I can understand. The basic success in the program lies in the combination of the right kind of carbs with fruits, veggies, and proteins that work together to boost the metabolism – exactly what I need.
But as simple as they made it, for me, anything to do with feeding myself good food consistently, requires extensive focus. I've never been able to do it with food before, but I'm giving this one my all for these first 14 days. I know if I feel and look better after two weeks, it will motivate me. And there's always the chance that I'll get good at shopping and preparing the food. A slight chance, given my track record in the kitchen and grocery store, but nevertheless, a chance.
My motivational quote came from a Taylor Swift interview I was reading in Web MD magazine while waiting for my daughter's lasik surgery on Friday. She said:
"You only have so many hours in a day, and if you can focus your energy on only the things you can control, it's more productive"
Smart thinking. No wonder her songs hit home with so many. How many times do we find ourselves wasting endless time and energy obsessing over things outside of our control? Then we wonder why there's no time to attend to the things that we really ought to get done. I'm super guilty of this. Thanks to that quote, I'm an now aware of this as I go about my day. My new food program will give me something to hone my focusing skills on.
I ate my first breakfast of toast with peanut butter on it and – get this – plain Greek yogurt with a tsp of cinnamon in it. At first I didn't quite like the combination, but then I couldn't stop eating it. Next I'm off to Bikram yoga, then the grocery store. Both take pure focus. Both I can control.
And so, as another day goes by, Taylor Swift impacts my thinking, (who knew?) Koko Fit Club simplifies my diet, and …I have written.
This morning I was bringing my daughter back to Boston and we were having a discussion about life choices. We were talking about the difference between people who just go to a job everyday that they hate, just to earn money to live and people who have found their passion, turned it into a career, and have a life plan. I told her this discussion reminded me of a story that crossed my mailbox just that morning. Here is the story:
“There’s an old story about a man who walks by a construction site
and sees workmen pushing wheelbarrows, each filled with an enormous
stone.
He asks one what they’re doing.
“What does it look like?” he says with a sneer. “Hauling rocks.”
Unsatisfied with that answer, the passerby asks another
construction worker the same question.
The workman doesn’t bother looking up. “We’re putting up a wall.”
Frustrated, the man tries one last time. “I say there,” he asks the
next fellow, “can you tell me what you men are doing here?”
The workman puts down his wheelbarrow, wipes his forehead and says
with a broad smile, “We’re building a cathedral.”
Here are three men, all doing the same job. One is hauling rocks.
One is putting up a wall. One is building a cathedral.”
This story illustrates the different ways we think about our lives. Our attitude and perspective can determine our path. When we’re working to put food on the table, we’re hauling rocks. When we’re at work just going through the motions to get done what needs to be done, we’re building walls. When we’re doing our job passionately to further help others have a better life or get a job done, we’re building a cathedral. While building a cathedral, the rocks are also getting hauled, and the walls are also getting built, but you are committed to excellence and to being the best you can be, no matter what you’re doing. Did you note how the last man smiled as be wiped his brow?
You can’t reach your full potential or live life to the fullest if you spend your time making excuses, having low standards, and doing just enough to get by. If you accept mediocrity, you will always be hauling rocks and building walls, while the people who focus on excellence in everything they do, build cathedrals. It takes some people longer than others to find their passion and make a life plan, but once they do, there’s no stopping the building of a cathedral.
What about you? What are you doing? Hauling rocks? Building a wall? Or building a cathedral? If your not quite building a cathedral, take a step back and review your perspective on what it is you do each day. Do you accept mediocrity or do you strive for excellence in everything you do? If you find yourself accepting mediocrity in yourself and in those around you, it’s never too late to change your attitude and focus on excellence. Empower yourself, gain direction, comfort, peace of mind and hope just by focusing on excellence in all you do. Change your thoughts and attitude, change your life. Watch a cathedral emerge.
And so, as another day goes by, requiring excellence in everything I do ignited passions I didn’t know I possessed, and…I have written.
The Super Bowl is about to start. No one super cares who’s playing. It’s just a great excuse to have a party and make some terrific food. It’s almost a semi-holiday. My family is having a great time, too. Ashley was able to join us at the cape this year and hubby made all the great game food. Settled in with a nice Chardonnay, I’m ready for the kick-off.
Then the Newtown Children’s Choir sang. That’s where I lost the meaning of the game, the food, the holiday-like feel to the day. Looking at the faces of those children singing brought it home that the future of our country lies with them. There is nothing more important than our young. The focus in this country has to shift to providing for them, educating them, and bringing them up to be healthy adults to take over where we leave off.
I look at the millions spent to field these teams and put this game on today. Can you imagine what that amount of money would do to take care of our children? On the other hand we have to keep it in perspective. The sports and entertainment industries provide jobs for a lot of parents to take care of their children. Still…..it’s an awful lot of money…
And so, as another Super Bowl Sunday goes by, Alicia and Beyonce rocked, the lights went out, the lights came back on, the niners almost pulled it out, now it’s time for bed, and..I have written.
Tonight, after a harrowing day of taking my daughter for lasik surgery yesterday, I wanted nothing better than a quiet evening in my chair, with a glass of wine, after a nice dinner. (It all turned out fine even though we sat in traffic due to an accident, arrived two minutes before the appointment because, once again, I refused to listen to the GPS, and then, leading her out of the building with her eyes closed, almost got her caught in a door – other than that, the surgery went great and today she has 20/15 vision and acts like nothing ever happened.) Back to the tulips.
I was sitting in my chair idly flipping through YouTube for something interesting to paint. I settled on some tulips, oil painted with a palette knife, since the roses I did a few weeks ago came out so well. The guy only showed how to paint one tulip and when we were done, I liked mine better. He left me with a string of tulips and stems sketched, that he didn't include in the video. I decided to stop the video and strike out on my own. I loved creating my own stem colors and finishing the rest of the tulips by just having fun with how the paint blends and mixes on the screen. (I was using the ArtRage app on my iPad)
Then I was stuck with a white background. Again, I struck out on my own. I applied white paint really thick and used a hard out smudge on the palette knife to spread it. As I worked, I thought about adding black and using a hard out smear to create a really cool background for the plants. Well a background is a pretty big space and I began passing the brush over it fast, trying to hurry the spreading of the paint. I had to keep stopping and starting again because it just didn't look right. I was getting frustrated. Then I slowed down and I began getting the look I wanted. Go slow. Do a small space and give the brush time to drag the paint. Hmmm. Here we go again. Slow and steady. Patience. I began to relax and enjoy the process.
When faced with a huge task to do, the best way to approach it is in pieces. Break it down. Do one piece at a time. Keep a steady pace and the end will come so much sooner than doing it haphazardly and attacking it at a fast pace. This alleviates the anxiety caused by facing the mountain – you climb it one step at a time, slowly, steadily and with patience. Pretty soon you relax and begin enjoying the climb. The rhythm kicks in and and what stared out as a stressful task, actually becomes a pleasant experience.
And so, as another day goes by, I will need this in the weeks ahead – to remember, I'll just look at the tulips, and…I have written.
I have been practicing Bikram yoga for two and a half years now. People often ask me why Bikram, as opposed to other types of yoga. I always say I do Bikram for medicinal reasons. The medicinal reasons are too many to go into during most of these conversations, but I always wish I could explain it better. I used to practice 4 to 5 times a week and that was fine because I wasn't doing any other form of exercise. Four months ago I joined Koko Fit Club and have added three days of cardio and weight training to my Bikram practice. It was too much. I had to find a healthy balance because all of my strength and energy was being zapped by too much of these good things. I have learned that too much of even a good thing can quickly turn into a bad thing. Our lives are best lived in balance in all areas. My trial and error of how much and when to do each one finally settled into a nice routine of Fit Club MWF and Bikram T&Th, with weekends off. I feel better, stronger, more energized, and much more balanced. No more doubles – doing both things in one day. After finding and reading this article, I am glad I kept Bikram as a regular part of my fitness routine.
Our family has a member recently diagnosed with stage four lung cancer, so it's no wonder the link I want to share with you today caught my attention. It's amazing what Bikram can do in our bodies. It tells in words better than I ever could, why I do what I do.
And so, as another day goes by, I leave you here, with this, and….I have written.
If you don't know Keith Jennings, get to know him through his Sunday newsletter, Root Notes.
A few weeks ago I published a post about Keith's newsletter on his resolutions. Keith is a writer and shared with us some very wincing things we do when we write, and his resolutions to fix them. I emailed Keith and sent him a link to the post in which I shared his work. In my email I told him I was a new writer. He emailed me back and once again, made me think. Stopped me so hard, I was stuck in thought and it's taken two weeks to answer him. He asked what I meant by a "new" writer.
I've been saying that to people for three years now and no one ever asked me what I meant by that. I just assumed I meant that I never sat down to put my thoughts on paper in any organized form until now. For some reason that was not the answer I wanted to give Keith. He makes me think in such a way that my mind stops and shifts tracks. He made me stop and think that if you say are a writer, you have probably been a writer all your life. You don't just wake up one morning and say, "Now I'm a writer." So I spent two weeks thinking about that every morning while brushing my teeth. (Probably then because Keith's writing resolutions are on my mirror.) I carefully combed through my 59 years to find evidence that I was always a writer. During this diligent morning ritual I also realized that lately I've been describing myself as a "new" artist, too. I really don't think I got up one morning last week and decided I was going to do artwork, either.
Sure enough. Writing and art materials were my favorite things in my preschool bedroom. (My dad will tell you how long it took me to learn you don't use crayons on your bedroom wall – and I don't mean a sneaky little mark here and there to test it – oh no – full blown murals which I spent hours trying to remove with wet washcloth until learned – paper only.) My husband will attest to the involved compositions I would produce for every essay assignment – he has been a classmate of mine since fourth grade so he has quite a repertoire of stories of me all through grade school and high school. In college I never remember complaining about the papers we had to write. I always remember spending 12 hours, in sweat pants, going without food, and feeling totally exhilarated by the project I was working on. Sprinkled in throughout all these years I remember always using art to make my own cards and messages. Somehow store-bought just didn't cut it – no one could say it quite like me. In my teaching career – 12 years in fourth grade and 23 in kindergarten – can you guess what was my favorite subject to teach? Yes. Writing. Not handwriting, but teaching children to free their minds, explore their thoughts and discover that which lies within.
So, is it a big surprise that when I retired three years ago, the first thing I did was join The Cape Cod Writers Center to connect with and learn from other writers? Did it matter that I had never put my thoughts down in any organized way? Did it matter that I had no idea what I wanted to write or even how my writing voice sounded? Did any of that mean I wasn't a writer yet? No, I think not.
Did I wait until I wrote 6 picture books, part of a novel, am now illustrating a picture book for another author, have recently started a little business teaching young authors workshops to children and posted this blog everyday for two and half years now? No. The reason? I was always a writer and an artist, but just didn't realize it until Keith asked me that very thought-provoking question.
I now look at everyone I meet and I think, what are you capable of that you haven't discovered yet? Are you a writer disguised by life too? Or an artist? Or a dancer? Or a cook? Or a bird watcher? Or a hiker? Or …or….the possibilities are endless of the things that could have been covered up by your life, but were present all these years. If you trek back through your decades, will you uncover a talent, passion, or skill you always had, but never acted on? Exciting stuff.
And so, as another day goes by, I said it last week, I said it yesterday, I'll say it again today: (kind of fun quoting myself – can you tell?) "We all have a passion that propels us forward in life. It's our responsibility to unearth that passion."~Me and…..I have written.
I firmly believe that the relationships between mothers and daughters and fathers and sons are sacred. They reach far, far into every other relationship in our life. They determine how we will find and treat a spouse. They determine how we will raise and treat our children. They determine how we will behave in close friendships. They determine how we will make decisions and handle our careers. The relationship with our same-sex parent, good or bad, determines how we approach life…….BUT….
…I also believe that:
There are many examples in the entertainment industry of people that have overcome adversity in their childhoods and made choices that saved not only their careers, but their lives. One might wonder how you do this if you haven't had the role models you needed growing up. Easy. You find people that do whatever it is you have a passion to do and do it right. Then you aline yourself with them. You make a choice to do that. Most people do this naturally after they discover their passion, but yet they still don't succeed because even though they found wonderful craft and career mentors, they still ignore their inner child and the internal turmoil it's causing within. This inner turmoil WILL hold one back in career endeavors. Left to smolder, this turmoil will never let a person emerge and perform in their craft to be the best whatever they have the potential to be.
That "not so great" childhood still has to be attended to and worked on – not offered up as an excuse that that's the reason for not succeeding. Again, it's a choice. Even if you're thirty-plus years old, you make a choice to aline your personal life with people who were successful parents. People who have successfully brought their children up to be good people who are happy, productive members of society.
Somewhere in creating your life you have to include people who can model how to have successful relationships. Successful; not meaning perfect. Far from it. You need people in your life who can handle the crap life showers us with and still stay the course. People who pull each other through the hard times and stay together and teach their children to do the same. Not having these role models in your own family growing up is not an excuse to play the victim and stay stuck where you are. Age does not matter. Your choice does.
It's your choice to look around your life and see who you are surrounded by. Are they people who you would like to become more like or are they people that just keep you stuck in that adversarial childhood you keep blaming for your failures? Think hard on this one. It's your choice. Your inner child will thank you for finally attending to him or her by making some changes in how and with whom you spend your days.
I said it in a post I wrote a few days ago, and I'll say it again:
"We all have a passion within that will propel us forward in life. It is our responsibility to unearth it." ~ Me
Make the choice to do that – both personally as well as professionally. There is no blame – only choice.
And so, as another day goes by, "choice" is the key word, thought and action of the day, and…I have written.
Yes. A day of studying trees. Today while working on my illustrating project it became apparent, as my focus shifted from my main characters to the backgrounds, there are a lot of trees involved. I needed to explore tree parts and shadows. I also think each picture is going be quite small, so I needed to explore some new mediums.
I set up in my chair with YouTube and began to search pastels. Wandered into oil pastels and saw the lovely detail you can achieve. After awhile I found a teacher, Robert Sloan, that worked slowly and explained every step in a way I could understand, and he had a video on drawing a tree in oil pastels. Yay! I watched it then set to work. Halfway through it I didn't like my tree. I was just going to stop the video and start all over, when the teacher said, "I just keep adding more and more color until I get the look I want." Hmm. I kept going and finished the tree, put it aside and made lunch. During lunch the look of the tree stayed on my mind. I didn't like it. I went to put the dishes in the sink and glanced at the tree on the counter. Mmmm….wow…it's not too bad. I climbed back up on the stool and with the teacher's words still in my head, began to add color and tweak it on my own. The colors were better, but I'm a blender and like a more muted look. Oil pastels act a lot like crayons and give texture. I remembered these paper blending logs in my art box. I used one to blend and mute the leaves. It's not bad, it's not great, but I learned a lot about the behavior of oil pastels in the process. If I had given up and started over, I might never have finished.
It's 4 pm. I am tired of studying trees. Heading off to Bikram yoga to stretch my trunk and bend my branches.
And so, as another day goes by, like Pink sings, "You gotta get up and try and try and try" , and….I have written. Please see the absolutely beautiful post about trees by Colleen Jumper, below.
