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October 20th, 2012 I always hated being a newbie. I always hated people watching me struggle to figure out something new. Worse yet, I always hated asking for help and following directions. Today was my first day going to Koko fit club to work out on my own. I joined on Thursday, but worked with a person to set up my program. Today I was on my own. I didn't think I'd get into too much trouble in "newbieland" because I carefully paid attention and remembered everything from Thursday. Well, I was wrong about that. I walked up to the door, tapped my key, and, of course, the door wouldn't open. I proceeded to do this a few more times, while a woman on a treadmill watched me through the window. It was 10 am and there was supposed to be staff there until 12. I peeked in the window and didn't see anyone at the desk. I called from my phone, but got no answer. I went back to my car thinking maybe my key wasn't registered because I hadn't set up my webstite yet. (I'm trying everything here because I refuse to go back home) I use my phone to set up my website and go back to try the door. No luck. The woman from the treadmill came over and opened it and apologized for not getting to me sooner because she was on the treadmill. She taught me the secret of the door (there's always a "secret" newbies don't know) and let me try it. It worked. Now I'm inside. I sign in and look for an mp3 player to do my cardio with. I stand perplexed because the basket where they should be is empty and there's only two other people in the whole place. Finally, the same woman tells me they are on the equipment. They put them there when it is unstaffed. (I guess this is supposed to make it easier?)
I go to an eliptical, get set up, and try to turn the player on. I push the button the wrong way and lock it. I can't get it unlocked. I get off and go to another machine. I carefully put the player on this time and get my program going. Oh no. I forgot to put my flashdrive in. I had to figure out how to start the player all over. I finally got it, and began again. Phew. 15 minutes to get my bearings without having to do anything else but listen to the trainer guy on the player. It was a nice workout, but next time I need a harder one. On to the weight machine. This is a combo machine with all the weight machines on it. I put in my flashdrive and decide to take my time and read the directions on the screen. I was a little shaky because I felt like everyone else was staring at me, laughing because I was a newbie. (In reality, there was only two other people there and they really could care less what I was doing because they were so busy reading their own screens.) I managed to make it through the first three exercises before encountering one I hadn't done before. It had to measure my range of motion, then I had to do it. It didn't work so well the first time and I discovered a button that lets it measure the range of motion again. I figured that out and moved on. Next I had to take off the grab bar and attached the ropes to the upper hanger. I couldn't reach the clip. It's a good thing I addressed that on Thursday with the girl, because she pointed out the stools for short people. I was not only a newbie, but I was a short person, too.
I started to relax and enjoy following the screeen, setting up the machine for each exercise, and trying to keep the little bar in the square as I moved. At the end of each exercise it gives you your pace percentage. I loved this. I was hitting 85, 90, and 100% most of the time. It's like a video game and you get points for it. Now I was really having a good time.
At the end of the exercise routine, I took my flashdrive over to the scale that measures your muscle mass. I wanted to do this again, even though I just did it on Thursday because I wanted to practice working the scale. I did it without incident. Phew. Done for today. I took my flashdrive over to the saving station, saved my workout results, and left. It was warm outside, I was exhilerated because I made it through after a rocky start, and I was famished. How wonderful it was to find myself nextdoor to a Roche Bros. food market. I deserved a treat for this one. Armed with hot chicken wings and a baked haddock dinner for supper, I headed back to my car.
I sat eating my wings, feeling happy and pleased with myself. I thought about this newbie thing as I ate. Being a "newbie" is uncomfortable, but I slowly began to realize that it's totally necessary to be able to grow, learn, and get to new places in life. I also realized I was embracing it – even enjoying it. I thought, pulling out of the parking lot, how much fun it was to throw new things at my brain and let it figure it out. The feeling of being on stage and having to figure things out under pressure is good to experience once in awhile. Tomorrow when I go again, I won't be as much of a newbie. At least I'll be able to get in the door.
And so, as another day goes by, I encourage you to go out and be a "newbie" at something, challenge your mind, test your courage, unlock doors, and ….I have written.
October 19th, 2012 This has been a long week. You know the kind. I've been out day and night all week and then had some really difficult issues leaning in on me emotionally. I also joined Koko fit club, in addition to Bikram yoga everyday. I've finally reached the point in the yoga where I could definitely handle a little cardio and strength training – but I did not want to go back to the gym. This program was perfect for me to do at least three afternoons a week. I went the last two days and had the best time. I'm really excited about it, but today, both my mind and body need a mini vacation.
I started out this morning with yoga. I had planned to go to koko this afternoon, but soon realized my body needed a rest. You're supposed to have 24 hours between any workouts. This is where the muscles do their best work. They mend and gain strength. But I really wanted to go to koko. I just got my flash drive yesterday, and now I'm ready to workout on my own. I can't wait to get there and do it by myself. (The last two days were introduction and personalizing my program). 3 pm came and I was so tempted to get in the car and go, but I had to reign it in. I need some food, rest, and electrolytes. Now I had to figure out how I was going to keep myself here and take care of myself so I can go back on the weekend.
A book. There is no better way to get myself in a chair and have hours go by. My friend recommended Broken Harbor by Tana French, as a book she couldn't put down. She's right. Two hours have flown by and I can't even put it down to get food. If you need a mini vacation, I highly recommend it. I'm gone in another world, part of someone else's life, while my thoughts take a real break from my own.
I have finally stopped the "work before play" syndrome. For most of my life I would never do something fun or relaxing or just for myself if there was work to be done. I used to hold things like that as rewards for completing work. Guess what? There was always work and I never got to the reward. I now realize things that are fun, relaxing, or "just for me" are not rewards. They should never be out off until all work is done. Those things are an integral part of a health regimen. Spending a rainy night in with a good book, despite the things that lay around the house and on my desk, undone, is just as important as going to the gym and eating right.
And so, as another day goes by, I'll slip back into my story, let my mind and body rest, and ….I have written.
October 18th, 2012 Today in yoga the instructor was trying to help new people stay in the room by encouraging them not to buy into the things their mind was telling them. He said, "You are not your thoughts." That sounded a little out of sync to me, even though I understood his intentions.
In effect, I disagree. We are most certainly our thoughts. That is one of the spiritual theories that the hot room proved to me to be true. Today I had an awesome standing series. I stared myself down in the mirror, told myself I was strong. The floor series started off much the same way, but the heat grew intense and we weren't getting a window or a door. I remember thinking how hot my towel was. Next, I told myself my skin was hot. It was getting hard to breathe. I knew right then and there the only thing that was going to change the direction of this practice was to change my thoughts. If I let my mind keep careening down that road, I might as well give up and lie still for the rest of the practice.
I immediately changed my thoughts. I told myself the towel was cozy and if I stayed perfectly still during the 20 second savasana, I could breath just fine. I told myself I was safe and in no danger. I felt my heart rate go down to normal and I really think I actually smiled as I lay there. The rest of the practice went beautifully and I finished as strong as I started.
Outside the hot room I have some hard things to deal with, too. Someone close is very sick. Last night, I started entertaining fear in my mind. I woke up sad, with no energy. After yoga this morning, I sat quietly and contemplated what happened in the hot room when I stopped my thought process and sent it in a new direction. I knew I had to do just that in this very difficult situation. I told myself being sad, fatigued, and fearful would do no good. I was starting that "begging, please, God" type of praying which was only increasing my anxiety. I began to pray for peace and calm for the family so they can attend to the illness and make clear decisions and support each other. I changed my attitude to be one of positive thoughts and prayers sent their way. Then I went to the gym.
I came home a stronger person, realizing the one who was ill was going need people with positive energy around her, encouraging her to fight. Tonight both my attitude and prayers are moving in a very different direction than they were last night. Yes, I truly am my thoughts.
Realizing your ARE your thoughts is a very powerful tool for living a positive, fulfilling life. If you tell yourself you're sick, you will be sick. If you tell yourself you're tired, you'll be tired. If you tell yourself you're always broke, you'll always be broke. If you tell yourself you hate to get up and go to work, you will hate to get up and go to work. You will always attract that which you tell yourself. So, wouldn't the wise thing be to tell yourself positive things? Pray in a positive manner. Write positive things on Facebook and twitter. Start a gratitude journal and write down – yes, write it down – one thing you are thankful for each day. There is something to writing it down, as opposed to just thinking it. The movement of the pen imprints it on your brain, which in turn, communicates it to your heart.
And so, as another day goes by, it has never been clearer to me how much our thoughts really do matter than it was today, and….I have written.
October 17th, 2012 It all started last night at 7:35 when a news bulletin popped up on the screen of my phone announcing the earthquake here in New England. The quake was in Maine, so down here on Cape Cod I didn't even feel the tremor, but it left me just a bit wary anyway.
Then, this morning in my women's bible study, Acts 16:25,26 was part of the lesson:
"Around midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening. Suddenly there was a massive earthquake and the prison was shaken to its foundations. All the doors flew open, and the chains of every prisoner fell off."
Now, if the instructors were planning this study on a weekly basis themselves, we could see why they might choose this verse today, but our instructors don't choose the content of the lessons. It's a video series planned months ago. The earthquake verse just happened to be in today's lesson. In the video, after reading the verse, Beth Moore said something that's been on my mind all day:
"Sometimes God will allow an earthquake in our life so some chains will come loose."
Sometimes we get so comfortable with our view from where we sit and look at life, we think we're impervious to difficult things. Earthquakes shatter walls and crack things open. Things fall away and change the lay of the land. We have no choice but to accept what is and rebuild.
I'm really glad the other part of the class gave us Psalm 122 to memorize over the next few weeks. I hung it in my kitchen. This is how much I know:
"1 I raise my eyes toward the mountains. Where will my help come from? 2 My help comes from The Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. 3 He will not allow your feet to slip, your protector will not slumber."
And so, as another day goes by, it's a good thing I made it to verse three before the quake hit, and …I have written.
PS- If an earthquake hits your life, download this. You'll recognize some words near the end of the song…..
October 16th, 2012 This morning my Bikram yoga buddies and I set up our camps and then went back out in the lobby. When we entered the room again, my friend said, "Oh! The mats look so pretty!" They did, and, of course my mind took off. Here's where it went:
Four mats in a hot room, lie in the sun,
Four mats in a hot room, wait for what's to come,
Four mats in a hot room, hold secrets they try to hide,
Four mats in a hot room, wait for us inside.
Toes and heels together, we begin the first breath,
Twenty-six poses, with Bengal tiger strength,
Monkey minds, anxious thoughts, pull and tug our brains,
In the battle of the mats - the yoga always reigns.
And so, as another day goes by, I'm not a poet and I do know it, but sometimes you have to just laugh and not take yourself so seriously, and…I have written.
(Mine is the turquoise one, set up in the corner, where I face myself in that mirror and battle heat, breath, and demons daily – could be why some days ya just gotta laugh!)
October 15th, 2012 Just the fact that I could check so many categories for this post proves my point before I even state it. A few months ago I was information, direction, and "how to" starved. Now, today, I'm in Too Much Information overload. I'm involved in two challenges, trying to jump start both my business and writing career, work on my relationships, and read every book suggested to me. So much information comes my way everyday, that I slowly think I'm developing ADD. Last week I sorely felt a lack of focus. I really got into reading the blogs in our Ultimate Blog Challenge group on Facebook, and while I was learning so much, I found my attention constantly split between all the things I'm trying to do. Then one blog finally called my attention to what's happening. Michelle Shaeffer posted this wonderful blog yesterday about why you must have information filters. I just have to share it with you in case you might think you have ADD, too. You will be relieved to find out you don't. You're just a normal product of the TMI age and need a few guidelines. She gives great tips on how to avoid the "I need too…" information trap.
And so, as another day goes by, you enjoy Michelle's wisdom while I go organize my life according to her advice, and….I have written.
Click the tiny link below to go to Michelle's blog:
via michelleshaeffer.com
October 14th, 2012 Did you ever read something and feel so fervently that it was written about you that not even one word would have to be changed to apply it to your life? Today I did. In my morning meditation I came across this by Tom Walsh:
"This is possibly one of the most liberating concepts I've ever been exposed to – one of the most simple and common-sensical. How much power do we give others to affect us in our lives day to day? How often do we feel bad or helpless or hopeless because of what other people have said or done? Quite simply, far too often – or at least that's true for me.
I can choose how I feel. I can choose my attitude towards events or people. I can choose how I react to actions or occurrences. I am not helpless and my life and feelings aren't simply reactions to events and powers outside myself. I am me, I am worthwhile, and I have the power to make my own choices."
At the end of the reading there are three questions. The first one tripped me up:
"Are you always aware of the different choices that are available to you in different situations?"
My answer: no. I'm not aware that I have a choice to override that hot flash of a feeling that comes over me and hurts and makes me feel so sad or angry over what someone said or did.
It happened yesterday. Through an accidental text I was made to keenly feel aware that someone was still clearly mad at me. It hit me. The hot flash came, but this time I stopped and stilled myself instead of reacting. I talked with a friend who made me aware that I did have a choice to how I felt. I realized that I have to stop being defined by what others think of me. I have to stop giving this other person the power to make me hurt or feel badly about myself. I was kind of proud of myself for just letting the situation go and realize what they think does not make me who I am. I chose not to hurt. I chose not to feel bad. I had choices. Who knew?
And so, as another day goes by, I'm going to keep that word "choices" front and center of my thinking, and…I have written.
October 13th, 2012 My husband commutes to the Cape from NY every weekend. When he arrives on Friday night, I hold the door open while he brings in his gear. Last night he went back out to his truck after bringing in the last suitcase. He came to the door with a six foot potted banana plant. "Surprise!", he said.
My jaw just dropped. My daughter gave him tiny banana plant shoots over a year ago for Father's Day. He raised them on our kitchen table in our apartment in NY. I had no idea they had turned into floor plants in my absence. Now I had to find a place to put this thing. I had an idea.
In the summer a friend was over and I showed her my serenity room, built for yoga, meditation, art, music, and writing. I did a beautiful job three years ago building this room and getting a new computer so I would have a serene place to write. My friend loved my room, but when I complained that I couldn't sit at the this computer and write, she just looked at me knowingly and smiled. This was something that's bothered me all three years. I have a gorgeous room to work in, but I prefer to sit in the family room and write on my phone. She said, "Of course you can't. The computer isn't by the window." The light went on. She was right. Every writer friend's home I visited had their computer in front of a window. I was going to have to empty this room, clean it, and start from scratch. A full day's work.
I'd been meaning to get to it for three weeks now, but the sudden arrival of this amazing plant made me decide today was the day. I emptied the room, washed the floor and my husband helped me move the commuter table over to the window side of the room. After finding the perfect home for the banana plant, I began putting things back into the room one by one. I soon began to see there were things that I didn't want in the room anymore. I ended up with a pile of stuff in the dining room that I must somehow make disappear. As I dusted objects and redesigned the room, I pondered why this was so. Why do certain things not fit in my room recreation?
The answer was clear. It's been three years since I created that room. I'm not the same person I was three years ago. Three years ago I hadn't written a single word. Three years ago this blog didn't exist. Three years ago my mom was still alive. Three years ago I was newly retired. Three years ago I had just moved to a different state. Things that meant something to me back then, don't hold the same value in my life anymore. Who I used to be, now sits in a pile in a corner of the dining room. My "new" new room reflects who I am now. My soul just moved up another notch on it's journey. Time and experiences have redefined me.
I sit here tonight listening to music I never listened to before, entertaining thoughts new to my brain, and loving the pieces of who I have become that surround me.
And so, as another day goes by, we, like the snakes and the hermit crabs are called upon to shed our skins and change our homes to fit the space of life we now occupy, I love my banana plant and the changes it has forced me to make, and…I have written.
October 12th, 2012 When the season changed from summer to fall and I embarked upon a journey of new directions to change with it, that word "why" kept resurfacing. When I opened my business in June (see it – over there on the left? I figured out how to put it there yesterday!) anyway, when I first opened it and attended trainings, that word "why" was always in the first lesson. A few weeks ago, a dear friend embarked on on a new exercise program and when she was telling me about it, the first thing she said was, "I'm doing it because…". She stated her "why". Today, as I was working along, another Dr. Philism flew out of the TV. I heard him say, "Inner words are very powerful words". He was talking to an overweight woman and went on to explain that those "inner words" must be ever-present in her mind for true change to take place.
Soon after that, I went for a walk to ponder this "why thing". I thought of all the new age talk of vision boards. In my business training we were instructed to make a vision board and put it in front of us where we could see it daily to remind ourselves of our "why" for doing this business. My friend keeps her "why" front and center so she won't get sucked into missing workouts. The lady on TV had to repeat her "why" many times a day to keep to her new eating schedule. I concluded that stating very clearly "why" we are doing something and constantly referring to that "why" is a catalyst for change and without it, nothing changes. We sit on square one.
I used to be of the school that when someone asked me why I was doing something, being of the retirement age, I could just say, "Because I can", like I don't need anyone's permission to do it anymore because my age and life experience give me the right. Now, I think that while that may be a very freeing thought, it's not really a good thing for focusing on something and initiating real change. Currently I'm working on big changes in three areas of my life and since being involved in the 100 Day Personal Development Challenge, the Ultimate Blog Challenge, my business training sessions, and the new bible study, the writing of clear goals (both long range and daily) is stressed across all four activities. If it's taught in all of these things, evident in my friend, and on Dr. Phil, perhaps it's something I should give more reverence.
In looking back over the last 5 weeks, I guess I have given up the non-chalant "Because I can" line of thinking. I have been diligently writing goals, setting deadlines, and stating my "whys" very clearly. In the first few weeks, I'd actually do my 100 Day Challenge lesson at night, and write my goals for the day after the day was over. It was great to see I was progressing and getting things done in my writing and in my business (afterall, just look at the left side of this page). Just this week I tried writing my goals at the beginning of the day. It was difficult to predict what I was going to accomplish that day at 8am. I realize now that my "whys" need to be stated clearly and visible to me when I start my day. Whether it's writing that query letter, gathering new customers, (again, look to the left – you might want to be one), or keeping to that workout schedule, my own, personal "why" is the driving force in accomplishing those goals.
And so, as another day goes by, I'm awed by that sentence I heard today: "Inner words are very, very powerful", I clearly see the need for keeping the "why" front and center in any area of my life I really want to change, and ….I have written.
October 11th, 2012 A gem for my daughters and all my girlfriends! I found this among my Ultimate Blog Challenge buds and just had to share with all my girls! I love this woman's writng and take on life. Don't miss this one!
Has this ever happened to you?
via www.lifeaftertampons.com
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