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October 11th, 2012 This morning a very interesting piece about how we make use of our time came across my radar. It ended with a quote by Charles Richards:
"Don't be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. One person gets only a week's value out of a year while another person gets a full year's value out of a week."
That quote made me really stop and think about how I use my time. Three years retired now, all my time is mine to manage, as opposed to when I was teaching and my days were spelled out for me. If you truly believe, such as I do, that we are all put on this earth and given special gifts to use to help others, having all your time to manage is a daunting responsibility. After reading about time management, it causes me to pause and ask myself questions about what I do all day. When I was teaching, this is a question I never had to ponder. I had a gift and I was out there in the trenches everyday using it to the best of my ability to change lives.
As I sit and ponder, the question becomes who, when, and how am I helping today? Let's see….
1. Last night at 10pm my daughter, in another state, experienced iPhone failure. Only Mom could help. I was on a conference call with her and Apple until almost 11. We did solve the problem, but created another by having Apple put a $600 hold on my checking account until they receive her old phone back in the mail. I didn't realize that meant they would actually charge the card. Hence – my new problem of the day to tackle. Immediately unending $38 overdraft charges started flying through my mind at 7am. Fear and tears were on the horizon. What to do?
First, be still. Pray. Ask God to show me what to do. Be still some more while waiting for the answers.
My answers to today's life challenge:
By first becoming still, instead of upset and mad, I saw some choices:
First I unburdened my fears of The Overdraft Monster to my husband. Even though he's not here and can't fix it, I like it that he's upset because I'm upset.
Next, call my daughter and let her know time is of the essence in mailing that phone back. (Stop for coffee after you do it)
Third, really try to get the money back. Call Apple and try to cancel the order and send my daughter to the nearest Apple store for a new phone. If that's not possible, get to the bank and have a hold put on my account so I won't rack up millions in overdraft charges by Monday. (The soonest she can mail it back)
Then, just to be sure, ask payees not to cash my checks until next week. (My dear sister agreed to hold onto the rent check)
2. The next thing I'm doing today is writing this blog in hope that some of the ways I handle, analyze, and solve life's issues will help and encourage someone else. Years of teaching young children has taught me volumes about myself and constantly kept me practicing patience and detachment with love. Two life skills that go a long way to making you effective and keeping you sane. I learned not to carry each child's life on my shoulders and take on the responsibility for fixing them. I learned to be a strong rock for them; providing a safe place for them to make their own mistakes and learn to take care of themselves in this life. (In hindsight, sending my daughter to the Apple store first would've been the better choice)
3. I write children's picture books and try to get them published so more children can benefit from what both my students and I have learned over the years. I have much work to do on these today.
There's more that I do, but I guess the most important thing is to look for a common thread that ties my daily activities together:
I simply try to help someone else have a little easier road.
I helped my daughter, solved my bank issues, wrote this blog, and it's only 10 am and I feel like I put in a day's work already. Does this mean I'm getting a year's worth out of my week? I hope so because I've got query letters to work on, yoga to attend to keep me sane and moving, and tonight I'm supposed to be in two places at the same time.
And so, as another day goes by, as long as what I do all day betters someone else's life as well as my own, I guess there's no need to ponder time management – just getting out there and doing it is enough, and…I have written.
October 10th, 2012 A few months ago my daughter introduced me to the health benefits of adding chia seeds to your food. (They also keep you full longer) Then one day she shared a story about seeing something that looked like a gross black caterpillar on a glass. It turned out it was wet chia seeds and they swelled up. (I now know how they keep you full). Now, every time I use them, I remember the "caterpillar".
For breakfast I always have oatmeal and throw in some chia and flax seeds. I make two servings, and before I add the seeds, I put one serving away for the next day. Today I put in the seeds and some bananas before I separated the two servings. After realizing what I did, I pictured opening up the container tomorrow morning to a bunch of "caterpillars". I separated the servings anyway, and put one away. What could I do? I couldn't remove all those seeds, and it still might look okay tomorrow. While washing the dishes I realized I couldn't do anything about it. All I could do was put it in the frig and wait until tomorrow. I dried my hands and went on to my next task, with an "Oh, we'll, we'll see" and didn't give it another thought.
Waiting for something you cannot control hasn't always been one of my virtues. It is only in these last few months I have begun to discover the power that lies in waiting. Recently a wise friend told me to "enjoy my peace" while I was in a waiting period and use the time to attend to all the things I'm involved in during that peacetime, instead of engaging in obsessing, fixing, over-thinking, analyzing, and forcing.
And so, as another day goes by, trying to pick out the seeds is futile, sometimes you have to just dry your hands and let it be, and….I have written.
October 9th, 2012 My Ultimate Blog Challenge certainly is living up to its word. Since I’ve written everyday for two years now, it isn’t posting that’s giving me a run for my money. First I had to figure out how to post to the challenge sight. That took all morning yesterday. This morning presented new challenges of its own.
Last night I had a great time reading and commenting on everyone else’s blog on the challenge site. That’s part of the challenge – visit blogs and comment on them. In return, people read my blog and commented. It was great fun as The Voice played in the background. The best thing about it was that I read a lot of posts on promoting your blog and your businesses. One thing that was suggested was if you have a fan page on Facebook for your blog, you should tell your Facebook friends to please go “like” it. So I did.
Well, that started its own little brouhaha. It wouldn’t come up in the search. I tried to fix that by posting right from the fan page. That just took people to the blog page. My next recourse was to learn more about the things my dashboard provides that I know are there, but I wouldn’t take the time to learn. I clicked on settings,then on something called SEO. Later I found out that stands for “search engine optimization”. I thought that would be a good place to start. That took me to something called Google Analytics and since I had to leave for yoga in an hour, i just knew that wasn’t a good place to start.
Next, I clicked on RSS, which I still don’t know what that is the acronym for, but I found out accidentally that I have a Feedburner account. (I do vaguely remember being there a year or two ago.) It was a pretty simple site. I was able to pick the things I wanted from their array of “chicklets and widgets”, hit Type Pad and voila! they appeared on my page. I moved them around, previewed them, clicked save and finally I had all these things on my blog that I see on everyone else’s.
So, my faithful readers, now if you just look in the upper left hand column you can find me in various ways. You can subscribe by email, you can read this in an e-reader, and you can like the Facebook page, all with a quick click. (Please like the Facebook page – that’s what started this whole thing. Thanks.)
I am just so pleased that this challenge is causing me to stretch, grow, and investigate stuff I’d been putting off for two years. Tonight my blog group meets. I can’t wait to finally show up with progress in the area I was supposed to be working on. The next challenge is to figure out why my blog quit posting on its own page sometime last March. Facebook.
How about you? Do you have to venture into something new? Is it niggling in the back of your mind? Do you keep saying “Someday I’m going to do that”? How about today? Take one small step and I guarantee you’ll get hooked and begin surprising yourself.
So what have you been “meaning” to do? Start a blog? Write a book? Take cooking lessons? Exercise? There is nothing more exhilarating than introducing yourself to something new. Go for it! Start today…not tomorrow. Put it in the search bar and just begin by reading about it and feel the excitement surge.
And so, as another day goes by, let’s review my October theme song….”This girl is on fire….”, come on, download it and play it as you search…., I’m going to play it as I hunt for more widgets and chicklets, and…I have written.
October 8th, 2012 Today was a day that could only be described by that one word – wrestling. I woke up with a headache that wouldn't quit. For me, that makes even the mundane tasks of breakfast and teeth brushing difficult. Next came prayer and meditation. It hurt to write or read anything. So I took frequent breaks and the whole process took twice as long. Wrestling.
Next came email checking. In it was a welcome letter from the Ultimate Blog Challenge with the guidelines and directions. One was that I must post on their Facebook group and twitter sites for maximum exposure and to let them know I posted a blog. They were very kind and encouraging and assured me there was no "blog police". Since I write everyday, I had no problem with posting my blog to their sites – except – I didn't know how. I spent the morning back and forth between my phone, computer, Facebook and twitter. Again, the headache persisted, and things were muddling fast. Wrestling.
I decided a break was in order. I went for a walk. Is it cold out? Is a sweatshirt too heavy? How far should I venture? Dropped and cracked my water bottle…..you guessed it – wrestling.
The walk helped everything but the headache. After the walk I reached for the Excedrin and some food, then went back to the challenge of posting my blog on these two sites. Amazingly I figured it out and learned a great deal more at the same time, but it was a struggle with every keystroke. Wrestling.
In the end, I decided there's only one place to take this day – to the mat, where it belongs. I went to 6 pm yoga. As soon as I entered the hot room my monkey mind started: it's really hot in here, I'm in for it, gonna be a hot messy wrestling match on the mat, hard to breath, groveling around on my knees,…and on it went. I laid down in the hot, dark room and quieted myself. No expectations.
Class started and the teacher was awesome at keeping the right climate in the room. He adjusted the heat and humidity during the standing series. I felt myself immediately get stronger. I had a magnificent class. And….get this….on the way out he said I had a great rabbit pose. Me. A great anything pose is rare. I drove home feeling better than I felt all day. Headache gone. Energy back. Great mood. Pleasantly tired. All WWE events belong on the mat.
And so, as another day goes by, I learned "wrestling" belongs on the mat, as soon as the fight starts, go back to basics – stillness; no expectations, I also learned I have a great rabbit,…and I have written.
October 7th, 2012 Yesterday I came across another blog I liked very much. I signed up to get emails of new posts, but I don’t remember the name of the blog, so I can’t share it with you until there’s a new post.
Yesterday’s post was interesting, but it was the question at the end that caught my attention:
“As a follower of Jesus Christ, how do you deal with being left out of the “top” lists, events, and awards in which you feel you should have been included – without getting angry or going into a depression? What words of advice can you offer someone who may react this way when they feel excluded or jealous over anything for that matter?”
This question got my attention because it is something I both feared and battled all my life. My biggest fear was not being good enough or at least as good as everyone else was. I was always tremendously insecure, even as a young child. I can go back and pinpoint where that started. It started in first grade in a Catholic school. First and second grade were in the same room with Sister Claudia as the teacher. She frequently left second graders in charge of the room. They would pick on certain first graders by putting their name on the board even if they didn’t do anything wrong. When the nun came back, you got paddled on the butt with a ruler, no questions asked. It was a daily form of bullying. It happened to me once, but as a result, I learned to live every day in fear. That daily fear training stuck with me and made me fearful in peer and social situations since. It took many years, on into college, before I began getting recognition for jobs well-done. Even then, it took at least five years of teaching to be able to go to school each day without fear of failure in my belly. It took a very long time for me to feel that I, too, actually do do a good job.
Socially it lasted a lot longer. Being left out or not considered would cause me to get angry, sad and depressed. I would throw a tantrum and run and hide. I’d feel sorry for myself and get very, very angry at whoever put me down. I even had a hard time handling what was gentle, in-fun, teasing out of love – even from my own husband and children. I no longer react this way. I’ve learned to laugh at myself, appreciate the part of me my kids call “crazy”, and actually be proud of the fact that I’m different than the norm. I now realize that in a career of creativity, it is that uniqueness that is going to write my stories. I’ve since learned that a bit of eccentricity is the way of an artist.
It has been in the last few years I finally learned to travel a different path. I had to learn to stop being defined by what others say or think about me. I learned that for every one person who criticized me, there’s at least two or three more who felt the opposite. I learned to drop the naysayers by the side of the road and continue on without a bruised ego.
My new path heavily depends on God’s will for my life. If I’m not picked or considered I now firmly believe there’s a good reason, even if I don’t see it right away. I look for what it is I haven’t learned yet. I look forward to a new path or direction ahead that will help me achieve my goals. No more anger. No more feeling sorry for myself. Time spent licking wounds is time lost on my next adventure.
And so, as another day goes by, when things don’t go your way, don’t waste precious adventure time on anger and depression, instead look with hope at what’s around the corner, and….I have written
October 6th, 2012 Today I came across the Ultimate Blog Challenge. The idea is to start on October 1 and post 31 times in 31 days. Uh….for me, this is not a challenge. I post everyday, come what may, so in my mind I have already completed this challenge. Then why even bother with this, you might ask. Well, I spend my time posting each day and there are alot of other things I should be doing with my blog that I have been avoiding for two years. One member of my blog group, who always keeps me on my toes, says I really want to do blog promotion and I insist I don't. I maintain that if my blog is supposed to be read by someone, it will find itself in their search engine on it's own. She says that I really care about getting my blog out there, because being an aspiring author, we all know a platform is everything. She's right. I do care about promoting this blog, but the reason I don't make an effort is a flaw in my personal opererating system.
It's simply too hard and time consuming. First of all, I hate reading directions. I just like all my stuff to work when it's supposed to. Second, I like working from my phone, and learning all the stuff requires me sitting at my computer; something I avoid at all costs. So how does this apply to the Ultimate Blog Challenge for me? Ahh. Surprise. There's an objective to the challenge that goes beyond just simply posting 31 consecutive days. The challenge is to teach you how to promote your blog, put you in touch with other bloggers in your category, and learn to use the stuff your blogging program gives you to improve your blog. Therin lies my challenge. I signed up and got my blog listed on the challenge site. Step 1 to promotion. Next I wanted to tell you about it. Step 2 – here goes:
See this banner? I had to learn to go into my dashboard and learn to hit HTML, copy and paste the banner where I wanted it, switch back to Rich Text, and Voila! there it is. In the process of doing this I learned to go into my layout and create a widget and put the banner in my sidebar permanently for the 31 days. Sounds techy, right? You bet it is (for me, anyway) and I'm damn proud of myself for the work it took to sit here and learn it and now apply it. (Except the banner won't fit nicely into my sidebar, so I need to seek help in blog group this week.) The best thing? I actually have something to seek help with. (My Blogger Babes will understand – they've put up with my passivity about this for a long time, and, yes, we did name ourlselves the Blogger Babes.)
And so, as another day goes by, my shoulders are aching from too much time in front of this computer, the sun is out and the beach is beckoning, I've had enough challenge for one day, and ….I have written.
Wanna see it one more time? 🙂
October 5th, 2012 This week I have been blessed more than usual in the spiritual realm. Maybe it has something to do with the new bible study, or just maybe I’m ready to take some more steps toward spiritual maturity, if there is such a thing.
I think there is such a thing. When I was hurt big – I don’t mean like the usual arguments and disagreements with children and spouse, where you get a little over zealous, calm down, talk, agree or compromise, and it’s over. I mean the kind of huge huge hurt that just comes in “whoosh!” and cuts the legs right out from under you. The kind that will not be over by bedtime, or next week, or Christmas or years. I’m not good with these huge hurts. I crumble. Hide. Suffocate. Throw a monster of a tantrum. And, sometimes, do it all at once.
I run to God, begging, pleading, clawing, at Him to end it and make it all fine again. I act like a child throwing a fit in the grocery store – both out loud to a confident and to God. This, I have come to learn, is spiritual immaturity. After not getting what I want, when I wanted it, and just how I wanted it, I finally calmed myself, learned stillness and was ready to listen to God’s way. Those were my first steps toward spiritual maturity. That took six months.
As I listened to God and grew, I dropped those ways even in other times of trouble and disagreements within my family. I practiced stillness and listening instead of all-out tantrums. Now, two years later, I want to learn to walk the rest of my journey maturely – with a sense of wisdom instead of frenetic fear.
This week I prayed about that and was given two things; a song and an exercise. The song was one I mentioned yesterday on my friend’s CD – Skywatch – Your Delight. I want to be a delight to God as I walk the rest of my journey, instead of a sniveling pain in the ass, always begging for something. The next thing was an exercise in our bible study homework. We had to read, work, and pray Psalm 120. Then, at the end, we had to write our own Psalm 120. That was an experience, especially as a writer, to become like David and pick up the pen and write my peril to God in Psalm-like form. Here is what came out:
“Lord you have given me this road to walk.
I am your chosen one for this task.
It’s the hardest thing you’ve ever given me to do.
When the way is dark, I won’t give up.
I feel your hand on my right shoulder.
I hear your words in my heart.
I trust in you, Lord.
One day it will all be over and settled.
One day.
I want it today. I want it fixed.
But my ways are not your ways and time on this earth is not your time.
So take me, Lord, and guide me on this journey.
All I want to be, in the end, is your delight.”
That was my stab at spiritual maturity. Take what I’m given to do and do it without kicking and screaming and begging. Trust God in every way on the journey without putting time limits on it or giving Him my suggestions.
If you have a “thing” in your life right now that just won’t leave you alone, I hope my feeble attempt at being a psalmist can help you. I hope next week holds some wacky blessings for you, too.
And so, as another day goes by, a psalmist is one thing I’d never thought I’d attempt being, but in this life, on our journeys, God can call us to be any damn thing He wants, and….I have written.
October 4th, 2012 In honor of my two year anniversary doing Bikram yoga, I bought myself a new mat. Anniversary aside, if you look at my old mat, it becomes apparent that a new one was definitely needed. When I joined two years ago I bought the cloth Breathe mat. It’s not rubber. It has three layers and doesn’t let the sweat go through the bottom. The bottom is a really nice gray dry cloth. The top is a cozy terry towel. The middle has some kind of absorbent lining in it. I washed and dried that mat almost everyday for two years. Scroll down to the picture and take a look before reading on.
That mat and I have had quite a journey together. We spent the whole first year having our innards slowly pull away from the walls holding them. They clumped up and were tossed about, landing in different places everyday. I remember moving small solid clumps of lining around with my feet as I stood on the mat everyday. The second year wore our outer covering so thin, that absorbing much of anything was hard. Finally, a hole tore right where the mat said “Breathe” and a similar hole tore in my heart, right where I breathe. Over the course of the last months, stuffing flaked, crumbled and fell out of both of us. I spent many days shaking the mat all over the basement floor when I removed it from the washer. (I’m sure my husband wondered where all the “snow” was coming from, but he never asked.)
Once the mat was empty of all this stuff that wasn’t needed, it felt flatter and easier to stand and lie down on. Once I finally lost all the loose stuff rattling around inside of me through the hole in my heart, I was much easier to deal with, too. Yes, that mat and I have come through snow, rain, cold, heat, sun, humidity and anything else that was thrown at us through two years of seasons. Every morning, all by ourselves we would walk to the car in any kind of weather and make our way down the road to class. That mat would support my feet in the standing series when I felt strong, cuddle me when I lay on my belly during the spine series, and just plain be there to catch me in the times when I thought I could go no further and just flopped down on it. A lot of wear and tear was done in that hot room – to both of us.
Now it’s time for a new mat. It’s time for a new journey. It’s time for a bright color to aid in my building up process. It’s time for me to work on three brand new layers. Lately I’ve been wanting to learn how to stay close to God when “Life is good”. That old mat is the evidence of begging God to help me and a lot of clawing to just do what it is I do everyday. Now that life really is good again, I want to maintain that relationship with my lord. I never want Him to have to snap me by the collar to bring me back to His side that way, ever, ever again. Yes, my life has changed in my days on that old mat, and it is going to change again over the next two years on this bright, cuddly new mat.
I almost felt sorry for this new mat when I laid it on the floor today for the first time. You see, I know the journey ahead of it. It, too, will have its innards torn loose by the daily washing and drying, and it, too, will eventually lose its stuffing and have it’s covering fade and wear thin. I will not be taking that gut wrenching journey with this new mat, but we’ll hang together and it will still become my new “blanky” in the hot room.
Thank you, lord, for seasons and years and the passing of time. You got me where you want me now, lord, so please help me work hard to stay here. As my friend Joanne sings on her Skywatch CD, “I only want to be your delight.” Make that my new journey.
And so, as another day goes by, the old mat is rolled up and relegated to my closet, the new mat sits on the kitchen chair, smiling at me and beckoning me on to a new journey with its softness and bright color, I willingly pick it up, smile, and trudge out to the car in an early morning rain, thinking “here we go again”, and ….I have written.
October 3rd, 2012 What a day. How many times have we all said that? At least once a week. Pull up a chair and listen to what I hit at every turn today.
It was the first day of our new women’s bible study. We have been on break for a full month. I really missed it. I couldn’t wait to get there and see all my “prayer ladies”, as my daughter calls them. It was like the first day of school. We were all hugging and chattering and catching up. Soon it was time to get our brand new books (see, JUST like school) and settle down for the leaders to introduce the new study. We are doing a Beth Moore study this year. She is a phenomenal women’s speaker. The title of the study is:
“Stepping UP…a journey through the Psalms of Ascent”
Now, none of us ordinary women from all different faiths are bible scholars, so we didn’t even know what “Psalms of Ascent” were. The video starts and the first thing Moore invites us to do is open our minds and join her on a journey to go someplace we’ve never been before. I was hooked right away because, to me, there is nothing more exciting than new territory. It was a great “first day” back.
When I returned home, I settled down to do day 9 of my 100 Day Challenge. The title of it was: Raise The Bar.
“Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow, and you will never reach your full potential. Every time the bar is raised, a new technique has to be developed.”
Certainly sounds like “going to a place I’ve never been before” to me. On my way to yoga tonight, I decided these were principles I needed to drag into the hot room. We are encouraged to “go someplace we’ve never been before” in each pose, since the poses are the same 26 everyday. Tonight I’m going to embrace raising the bar in at least 2 poses, instead of just staying in my comfort zone and trying to “just get through” the class.
Pushing further, crossing the line, and stepping UP are the order of my future days. I wonder where I’ll land? I wonder what new, uncharted territory I will travel? I wonder how much and in what ways I will change?
This is a tall order, this venturing out of my comfort zone. I think the best way to approach it is by doing a little at a time – like tonight in yoga – just two poses. Tomorrow, maybe three. The next day, something unfamiliar in my business. The day after that, take a step down a new writing path……and on I’ll go. Will you join me?
Pick an area of your life that is challenging right now. Find a new technique or strategy to implement to get the job done. Let’s go. Let’s make fall 2012 a giant adventure.
And so, as another day goes by, remember : “Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone, and…I have written.
October 2nd, 2012 On Sunday, my rainy book reading day, I read a young adult novel, The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh. The Victorian language of flowers was used to express emotions, such as: honeysuckle for devotion, azaleas for passion and red roses for love. The heroine, Victoria Jones, used flowers as her only means of communicating her feelings, like grief, mistrust, and solitude. Victoria spent her childhood in the foster care system, and now at 18, is unable to get close to anyone.
(click link below to read post)
via capecodchildrenswriters.com
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