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October 1st, 2012 This morning as soon as I woke up, I knew the first decision I’d have to make was to go to yoga at 9:30 am or 6 pm. When I opened up my phone and saw October 1, it was like a switch flipped. I hopped out of bed knowing it was going to be 9:30. There was an energy about the universe that told me something was changing.
I arrived at the 9:30 class, hopping and ready to go. Then I saw the teacher was my dear friend, Shirley. Now I knew why I was supposed to come at 9:30. Shirley always has the room perfect. Shirley always reads the needs of her students with uncanny precision. I always have the best mind and body class when Shirley teaches, and today was no exception. I left that studio with more energy than I ever have. I wish Shirley could be my Monday morning person forever.
Change certainly was in the air. After yoga, lately, I’ve been too spent to do anything but go home. Not today. I went to the grocery store, the post office, and Dunkin Donuts and knocked off goals I’ve had for the last week – all done today. Coming home was no exception. The energy flowed. I had lunch and a brief rest and then was back at completing tasks that were on my mind for weeks, in record time. Things got cleaned, washed and organized. Bills got paid. Goals were set in every area of my life. Now, at 9 pm, I stand amazed at what I accomplished today.
My 100 day challenge is amazing. I took the weekend off and resumed it today. This is what I learned:
Saturday – Day 5 – The Power of Deadlines
-When you set a deadline and expect to get your goals accomplished – guess what? They get accomplished quickly!
Sunday – Day 6 – Discipline Your Behavior
– Every act of self-discipline you engage in moves you closer to your goals, and every exception takes you off course.
-If you are ahead of target: You are a seller.
-If you are below target: You are a buyer.
– If you do not discipline yourself, you are sure to be disciplined by others.
– Freedom is the result of personal triumph over excuses and bad habits
-To get consistently positive results requires consistency. (Something I’ve always believed strongly!)
Today – Day 7 – Results Are Everything
– Don’t tell me what you are going to do, show me what you’ve already done because ……the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
JUST CHANGE!…what you think, say, and do.
Today’s challenge was to examine my results since starting the 100 day challenge and find clues to what I did right, what I did wrong, and what I was thinking, and then list what I was going to change to get better results today.
I know. A lot to be reckoned with. But you know what? It’s energizing and it is truly making a difference.
And so, as another day goes by, “this girl is on fire”, October 1, I’m making some changes, and….I have written.
My new theme song: (amazing how new music comes out at just the right moment) by Alicia Keys. Get it now and set yourself on fire……
September 30th, 2012 It’s a really really dark rainy Sunday morning. The dark is dark enough to keep the sensor candles in my windows illuminating each room of the house with golden warmth. A candle flickers on the mantle, blinking at me as I write. A pot of chili is simmering on the stove and the Patriots play at one o’clock today. I can’t think of a more perfect autumnal Sunday morning.
Today is one of those days you can’t orchestrate. They happen by chance and have to be pounced upon and taken advantage of immediately. Today I don’t want to do any of the things I do on my ordinary days. I don’t want to go outside (although I do enjoy rain walks). I don’t want to go to yoga. I don’t want to work on any of my business or writing projects. I don’t want to clean the numerous places in the house that need to be cleaned. I don’t sit here in my chair by my back door staring at the rain, wishing for sun. No, sun is the last thing I want today. I want the rain to keep pelting down with its insistence that it’s not going away.
So, on a day such as this, what do I want to do? Read. And read. And read some more, until I come to the last page and “Oh, wow!” envelopes me in awe as I shut the cover. Yes, today, all I want to do is read.
And so, as another day goes by, I intended to spend it in my chair with a new read, vacillating between the worlds of my book and my home, intermittently, and…I have written.
September 29th, 2012 Today I had the most amazing day with 10 writing women. Five of us teachers, and five of us students. It didn’t matter who was who – the learning was amazing for all ten of us.
(Click link below to read post.)
via capecodchildrenswriters.com
September 28th, 2012 Today there was a cold drizzle falling when I got home after yoga. I knew there would be no outside shower. The time has come. I went out to collect my shower caddy and bring it upstairs to the tub. I turned on the water and as it hit the bottom of the tub for the first time since May, thoughts in picture form flew through my mind. Taking a glass of wine into the outside shower to get ready to go out for the evening. All the super hot mornings after yoga when that shower was the only answer after the hot room. And…oh…after a long hot day at the beach – nothing washed the sand out of my hair like that outside spigot.
By now the water flowing in the tub was warm. I stepped in. I looked down at the drain. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to move my shower inside – and, for the first time since I can remember, I wasn’t ready for summer to end. Most Septembers I’m usually getting out the pumpkins and wishing for cool, fall weather. This year I feel different, even though the house is decorated and the mulled cider has already graced the stove.
I’m different this year. I’m moving slower. Not physically, but emotionally. I’ve slowed down and taken time to feel my authentic self. Somehow I feel I need more summer, but before the melancholy sets in, I realize I can only get more summer by going through another winter. It’s a good thing winters here on the cape are mild and I do enjoy them.
Funny, how we absolutely have to go through winter to get more summer.
And so, as another day goes by, my shower caddy is in its winter home, cool temps n rain tell me hibernation is in the offing, and…I have written.
September 27th, 2012 On Monday I started a 100 day challenge. No, yoga buddies, it’s not for yoga. I may color outside of the lines once in awhile, but I’m not crazy. There’s no way I’m going to commit to yoga for 100 days. (That’s another blog – one I think I did write in the past.) No, not yoga, but a personal development experience where you work on small things within yourself each day that cause big changes at the end of 100 days. Now and then, during the challenge I will share tidbits that changed my thinking.
This week began by examining excellence. I always thought excellence was something you achieved – like a goal. I thought it was the A+ at the end of test or study or challenge. This week I learned that excellence is not an end product. Excellence is something you practice and apply all day long, in every thing you do, from brushing your teeth, to exercising, to your job. It’s not a reward – it’s kind of a verb.
These past three days on the challenge had me doing better in all areas of my life. Writing and business matters were really good. I took excellence to yoga and put new things and effort into postures that I used to just coast through. It’s amazing when you think about excellence in everything you do, all day long, the changes you can see happening right before your eyes.
Then came 6 pm yoga tonight. I couldn’t wait to go again and take my “excellent” attitude with me. The last two nights I rocked it and came home with more energy than I needed at 8:00 at night. Tonight, as soon as I walked into the room I knew I was in for it. The room was very, very hot. My skin was burning until I started sweating. Sitting on my mat before class, both the mat and I were as soaked as I’d be at the end of the standing series. The teacher thought it was just fine. Uh- oh. Compensation time. On top of the heat, the class was really crowded and the humidity shot up sky high by the end of the third pose. I felt bad. I knew I’d be spent by the time the standing series was over. I made it all the way through the standing series, but I was too dizzy to do tree and toe stand, so I just knelt down. I was happy that I made it that far without taking a knee, even if it was with a lot of compensation and trying to conserve energy and breath. The floor series – well let’s just say it amounted to a lot crawling and groveling around on the ground. She opened the window during the floor series, but it was too late for me. I already spent everything I had.
I was kind of dejected that I couldn’t put excellence into tonight’s practice, like the last two nights. Then I stopped to think. Tonight was not a new experience. It happens. When the temperature and humidity are perfect, I concentrate on poses. When they are as high as they were tonight, I concentrate on breathing, conserving energy, compensating in my difficult areas instead of putting my all into them, and really work on controlling that panic factor that tries to set in and make you feel like you have to run out of the room. This is my strategy. After two years I’ve accepted that there will be classes like this. I have a strategy. I executed it with excellence.
In life, everyday is not sunshine and flowers. It’s easy to apply excellence when things are going well. What counts is to be able to apply it on the hard days, too, just like in tonight’s class.
The first premise of the challenge is to inspire, promote, and celebrate excellence. They never said anything about only doing it on our good days. I think they said everyday. Could be why they call this a challenge.
And so, as another day goes by, it’s time to apply excellence to relaxing and settling in for the season premier of Grey’s, I’m sure I can do that with excellence and do like the challenge says: “finish the day strong”, and…I have written.
September 26th, 2012 Albert Schweitzer was a smart man. He said:
“Do something everyday for which you don’t get paid.”
I do this blog everyday and sometimes I’m asked if I make any money writing it. All last year I struggled with Google Analytics and ways to “market” my blog better. I came to the conclusion that word of mouth advertising is the best. After all, the people who share and recommend reading it, sincerely like it. It’s not about the stats. My family knows I spend time everyday writing this and they read it just to make sure they know what I’m up to (I sometimes scare them). I picture them reading it and then breathing a sigh of relief that: 1. I’m okay and 2. I’m not embarrassing them in any way. Lol!
For reasons such as these, I sometimes feel spending time on this blog that I don’t make any money on is frowned upon. Really, why would I put all this time into something I don’t get paid for? Oddly, this is the first thing that I’ve ever spent this much time on that I didn’t get paid for.
Some people just don’t understand the need to write. They don’t get how there can be so much in one’s mind that it has to have a place to go where it can be organized and analyzed. This blog does that for me. I originally started this blog for that very reason. There was so much trapped in my brain and it couldn’t find it’s way out. I wanted to be a writer, but after 13 months of trying, I hadn’t written even one word out of just plain fear. Fear of showing anyone what was in my heart and on my mind. I almost gave up. This blog was my last ditch effort.
This blog was two years old on September 20th and it has done way more than just get me writing. It has taught me how to write. It has taught me how I write. It has given me a place to experiment with words and people’s reactions to them. It has erased the fear of putting my heartfelt thoughts out there for all to see. It has grown me a thick skin and taught me to really appreciate and embrace when people don’t agree with me or even like what I have written. I have an interesting quote that was posted on Facebook by The Book Doctors that I just love, respect, and hang onto. It says:
“Writers shouldn’t fear criticism. Instead they should fear silence. Criticism is healthy. It gets people thinking about your work and, even better, it gets them talking and arguing. But as for silence – it is the greatest killer of writers. So if you hate a book and want to hurt it – don’t talk about it. And if you hate my books – please, for God’s sakes, shout it from the hills!”
~ Robert Fanney
One other thing happened with this blog in it’s two years of life. People began reading it and getting help with living life from it. That, to me, is a gift greater than any dollar value I could ever receive from words I have written. I don’t write to make money. I don’t aspire to make money from writing. I don’t need to care about the statistics of how many read it. I sincerely believe that those who need it will somehow be led to read it. My words are a gift from a Higher Power and I believe they are meant to help others, not garner income for me. Some authors would probably chastise me for that statement, but most that I know would not.
As a result of this blog, I have written 4 picture books and three chapters of a novel. If I do happen to ever get a book contract for my picture books, that would be great, but only because my words would now be able to reach and help children, not because I would get paid for them. Money is a secondary bonus that maybe God would feel I deserve, but it is certainly not the reason I write.
And so, as another day goes by, Albert certainly knew his stuff, money has its proper place in life, and…I have written.
September 25th, 2012 I was having a great Bikram class this morning. When we got to eagle, the teacher stopped the class and told me, as she had on one other day, that I needed to bend forward while bending my knees. I usually just do what she tells me to, but this time I was confused. In this pose you’re supposed to “lean back” if you’re losing your balance. I just didn’t see how I could bend forward and lean back at the same time. Then, she and my teacher friend Shirley explained something I never knew before. There were two parts to this posture. The first part you actually do bend forward, then you lean back after you brought your one leg over the other. I tried it and promptly lost my balance and faltered. Then the teacher said:
“There’s always something new. We’re never done.”
Today is my two year anniversary going to Bikram yoga and a posture I have done for two years is still not mastered – hell, I haven’t even been doing it quite right for two years. There are still parts and pieces of a movement I’ve done 5 days a week for two years that I didn’t even know existed. All this time eagle was one of my easiest and best postures. I very seldom fall out of it. I can sit in it focused and still for quite a long time. Eagle is a posture I don’t even think about because there was nothing at all I had to work on with it. Until today.
How many times do we feel we have something in the bag, only to find out otherwise? Just like the Packers thinking they intercepted that ball last night, only to find the touchdown was given to a guy who wasn’t even holding the ball. Surprise, surprise.
We’re never done. For my business I’m doing some learning about setting goals. To me, you set a goal, you achieve it, then you say, “Yes!” and feel pretty good it’s done. Yesterday I learned that’s not how goal setting works. When you achieve it, you don’t say, “Yes!” and rest. You immediately set a new goal and motor on.
We’re never done. There is never going to come a day where we can put our feet up and stop trying. I think that’s called dying. I always looked at retirement that way, though. The day when I didn’t have to go to work and I could do nothing if I so chose. I thought I was done. Surprise, surprise. As long as we’re walking this earth there is always more to do. More to deal with. This is a hard concept for someone who likes lists and loves to cross things off and consider things final and finished.
What a shock today to learn through yoga that nothing in life will ever be done. Each accomplishment is just a step up to the next one in a stairway that has no top step. And, even when we consider something done, it can still unravel in a split second when we’re not paying attention. Such as my eagle pose.
We’re never, ever done. There’s always more to learn and change in our jobs, relationships, finances, exercise, etc. This concept is almost peaceful when you remove the final end product.
And so, as another day goes by, tomorrow begins year three of Bikram yoga, it also begins the rebuilding of my eagle pose, and….I have written.
September 24th, 2012 Due to the late Patriot game last night, today I opted for 6 pm yoga. It’s dangerous to do this because I run the risk of that “maybe not” feeling around 4:30. My way to get around that is to think of the experience I had at my last 6 pm class about a month ago.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to go. It was August and it was hot. But I so wanted a five day week, so I pushed myself. The class was tough, but oh the wonderful feeling when I got home. The shower and relaxed feeling that took over my body and mind were indescribable. Knowing the day was over and all I had to do was sink down in a bed instead of take on a day, was worth it in itself.
That’s what got me there tonight. Tonight’s class was one of those perfect teacher, perfect room, perfect pace classes. Home, now, that wonderful feeling of being done with the day and my body can take its time replenishing, is taking over.
Sometimes we just have to choose to be optimistic. Look back on a pleasant experience and let it carry us forward. Borrow the energy from a day gone past. Many times a past experience creates hope for the future. The best part? It’s a conscious choice to be optimistic. It doesn’t mean hearts and flowers and constant laughter. Today I read that optimists have a deep belief in their goals and vision. Make a choice:
“No matter what state of mind your in, you can choose to look for those growth opportunities and silence that self-defeating voice of doubt.” ~ Spark People
And so, as another day goes by, I’m glad I chose 6 pm, I’m glad I chose to be optimistic about going, and….totally relaxed, …I have written.
September 23rd, 2012 Tolerance is something I blogged about early in the first year of this blog. I have a small banner hanging in my serenity room with the Dalai Lama’s definition of tolerance on it. The thing I like most about this definition is the part where it says people who practice this sleep well at night.
Sleeping well at night, with nothing to feel guilty about or nothing to sit up until all hours of the morning fearing or worrying about, is, to me, one the greatest gifts of life. To lie down at night with a clear conscience, knowing that all the choices I have made err on the side of doing what’s right. At times, my choices were wrong, very wrong, and led to harsh consequences. But even during the suffering of those consequences, I could rest in the knowledge that although my choice turned out to be the wrong one, it was never intended that way.
In knowing this, I practice tolerance of myself and my ways. Tolerating myself and my ways is the only true way to learn tolerance of others and their sometimes eccentric and seemingly weird ways of doing life. The way we do life comes from the background within which we grow up living it. No two people, even brothers or sisters, grow up experiencing life exactly the same way, even in the same house, with the same parents. Realizing this is the first step to tolerating in others that which is different from ourselves and the way we operate.
Through the course of this blog I have been led to examine a lot different people and beliefs. Over these past two years I have come a long way in learning to step aside and accept people’s differences, and then, the best part? Instead of just tolerating people’s eccentricities, I’ve come to celebrate them.
Tolerance is a big part of being a happy person. There is a lot of freedom in genuine tolerance of yourself and your humanness. There is even more happiness and freedom in being able to stand back and let our children, our parents, our siblings, our co-workers, our friends, etc. live their lives and believe their beliefs without fretting that “they should do it our way”.
Tolerance does not, however, mean tolerating abusive or destructive behaviors toward others or ourselves.
“Practice healthy, loving tolerance of ourselves, said one man. When we do, we’ll learn tolerance for others. Then take it one step further. Learn that all humanness we’re tolerating is what makes ourselves and others beautiful.”
~ Melody Beattie
And so, as another day goes by, these weeks before a major election is a good time to revisit tolerance, a good time to reread the banner on my wall, a good time to appreciate a good night’s sleep, and ….I have written.
September 22nd, 2012 Today my husband and daughter had Red Sox tickets. My daughter got them from work and wanted to take her dad. I came with him from the cape, and I’m sitting in the coolest bar ever while they are in the game.
It’s called The Bleacher Bar because it’s in the stadium right under the bleachers. There’s a huge garage door with windows that you can see out of. It’s right on the edge of the outfield. I was going to go shopping because I thought they would close this big green door during the game. They only closed the one with the windows in it and you can still see out. My daughter and husband are right across the field from me. She says it looks all green and like it’s closed.
This is the best. It’s better than having tickets. I feel like I’m out on the field.
Now I know the Red Sox are nothing to rave about this year, but it’s really not about the game today. It’s about new experiences in a new place. It’s about the people and fan atmosphere in the bar. It’s about dinner later with my husband and daughter. It’s about enjoying the commonplace Saturday and being in the moment.
Where are you today? Are you making the most of your commonplace moment?
“Positive thinking is a constant attention to detail that make up an average day – with the knowledge that how you live this moment may reflect on the rest of your life.”
And so, as another day goes by, just for today I’ll be thankful for everything in my life, even though I don’t understand why some things are a part of it, and …I have written.
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