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July 23rd, 2012 I don’t go to yoga on weekends. That makes Monday morning class a little different than Tuesday through Friday classes. After two days of too much beach, too much food, and too much wine, the jaws of Bikram yoga are just aching to chomp on a rather sedentary body, fully sated with food and drink, and squeeze all those toxins out of it. The first set of standing forward bend, done immediately after back bend, is, well, something hard to describe. Bending over and touching the floor after not being in class for two days, is something akin to opening my beach chair on Saturday, clogged with sand and salt, after sitting unused for five days. Creak. Groan. (halfway open) pop. Open.
Once past that first forward bend, things start to loosen and heat up and become easier. During that first forward bend, I often ask myself why I subject myself to this on Monday morning. The answer is always obvious and the same: because Tuesday will be twice as bad and I have no interest in going down that road. Besides, if I don’t take care of my body, where will I live? It’s not like I can just go out and get new one like you can with a car or a house.
My favorite yoga teacher once said that it takes a lot to maintain our bodies. This morning I read the best description of how to do that. Finally someone summed it up in one short paragraph so it doesn’t seem like too ominous a task.
“Attention to one’s lifestyle, especially in the direction of reducing emotional tensions, a modest but regular program of daily exercise, a diet low in salt and sugar and reasonably free of fatty meats and fried foods, and plenty of good drinking water – all these are useful and indeed essential.” ~ Norman Cousins
I sometimes think I need to be reminded of the little things and just how simple they are. Life is just a series of little choices that add up to the big picture. I figure if I pay close attention to all those little choices, and make them consciously, based on the above quote, taking good care of my body and keeping emotional tensions at bay can become automatic.
And so, as another day goes by, I’m glad tomorrow is Tuesday because Tuesday’s body is much easier to deal with, and…I have written.
Additional wisdom from Tom Walsh:
July 22nd, 2012 Today was a quiet day, without a lot of the usual hustle n’ bustle of household upkeep. Watching the aftermath of Aurora on Sunday Morning, and the taking down of Jo Pa’s statue, just set a pensive tone for the day.
In the afternoon my husband and I went down to the canal and passed the afternoon sitting and watching the boats go by. We didn’t feel like biking or walking, which was highly unusual for us. It was a different day, but one we both enjoyed. I guess we just pressed pause to stop and respect life. This weekend so many lost their lives, but a few years back someone very close to our hearts was given a second chance. Without words, we celebrated and gave thanks for that. Then we stood up, held hands, and made our way back to the car, back to our lives, to begin a new week.
And so, as another day goes by, the past is over and done, the future is not guaranteed, all we have is now, today was a day to stay in the moment, and…I have written.
A beautiful moment….”We can’t change the wind, but we can always adjust our sails” …..
July 21st, 2012 Once again I sit here stunned at yet another shooting. The theater shooting yesterday in Colorado is hitting everyone hard today. Watching that mother talk about waking up and knowing something was wrong with her daughter, texting her, the daughter telling her she’s fine and to go back to sleep, and then waking to the call that her daughter was dead, broke my heart into pieces.
I have daughters like Jessica Ghawei. That happens to me all the time. I’ll wake up at 3 am and know something is not right with one of them. I’ll pray until I feel a sense of peace and then go back to sleep. Listening to Jessica’s mother recant her story of what happened between her and her daughter in her last hours of life, brought it all too close to home. I sat in tears when she said Jessica said, “I need my mama.” And she replied, “I need my babygirl.” And that was their last conversation.
We ask why, but of course we’ll never know. It just had to be for reasons unbeknownst to us. What makes a person so desperate that they have to take their own life or that of others in their search for a way out of their own dark, painful world? How is it that these people walk in such darkness and pain right amongst us everyday and no one notices until something like Aurora happens?
Today I pray fervently for Jessica’s mom, the other families that lost loved ones, and the survivors whose lives will be forever changed by scenes and memories they’ll never be able to forget. But most of all I pray for James Holmes and the dark pain and desperation that led him to do something like this. And lastly I pray for myself that God never let me walk away from a troubled soul, but to stay, as Jason Mraz says in his new song “I Won’t Give Up”, “I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily, I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make.”
And so, as another day goes by, we sit in a moment of silent respect, we pray, but we can’t give up – there’s always someone else who needs a hand or an ear, and….I have written.
Get this song. It’s a heart-changer.
July 20th, 2012 Fourth of July weekend my daughters and I were getting ready to hit the beach with our friends. I came out of my room dressed in my bathing suit. Daughter 1:
“Ummm…no, Mom. “
“What?”
“No, Mom, not that bathing suit.”
So I went and put on another suit.
“Ummm… No, Mom.”
“Come on, this one is okay!”
She gets daughter #2.
“Ummm… No, Mom. Not good.”
So I put on my my “newest” suit. I bought it in 2005.
Both daughters. “Okay, Mom. But if you try to wear any of those other ones, all your suits will disappear and you can go to the beach in shorts. We suggest you go bathing suit shopping and buy something made in this century.”
So that was the mission of today. Bathing suit shopping. I was not happy. I don’t need new clothes or bathing suits. I don’t go anywhere worth spending money on. But…. They will both be back here with their friends next weekend and I’d better have a new suit to wear to the beach. So today off I went. I set aside 4 hours to do this deed. And 4 hours is exactly what it took. I started in Marshall’s, the cheapest place. Tried on 10 suits. Struck out. Next hit Victoria’s Secret. Tried on 6 suits. Struck out. I really wanted the same suit I bought back in ’05. In the Cape Cod Mall, what are the chances of finding that? Went to Gap. Tried on four suits. Struck out.
Now my husband calls me – he’s on his way here. He hears dejection in my voice and asks, ” What’s wrong?”.
“Nothing.”
“Okaaaay..”
“No, really, nothing”
I couldn’t let him think that I was that upset over bathing suit shopping while he was battling bridge traffic. We said good bye and I headed for Sears. They carry Lands End, my last hope. I cannot believe it! They carry the exact style I was looking for. I choose one top and matching bottom and another top to go with black bottoms I already have. $98, on sale, 40% off, but I don’t care. I found what will make me and my daughters happy next week on Girl’s Weekend. I go to the cash register. The girl scans this sheet she has. Turns out today is 30% off Lands End sale merchandise. $68 and I have the equivalent of two suits, both my heart’s desire, for less than the retail price of one top of a suit.
I’m happy. I jump in my car and start for home. On the radio I hear bridge is backed up six miles. My husband calls and says forget Seafood Sam’s. He won’t be here until after 8. Awwww…just when my day was looking up. I dejectedly make my way to the grocery store to buy the “cheap chickens” on Friday. I tiredly drive home, and he pulls in behind me. He took the Sagamore instead of the Bourne and arrived at 7 pm.
Seafood Sam’s, fish snacks, Red Socks and chocolate martini’s here we come. I love my life. (Especially Friday nights) It really doesn’t take much to make my day – a bathing suit and some fried fish.
And so, as another day goes by, it really is the little things that make life a big thing, and ….I have written.
July 19th, 2012 This week my sister is here on vacation with me. Our favorite thing is to stand in the water on the sandbar at low tide and talk away the afternoon. I always call this “solving the problems of the universe”.
This morning I think we did it. We were discussing our choices for the upcoming presidential election. (What we were really discussing is how we have no choice.) It’s a six of one, half dozen of the other situation and we spent the better part of the morning wading through the issues. On the morning news there was a GOP strategist that just kind of summed up the two candidates simply and perfectly. He said:
“Romney is a great problem solver, but he doesn’t get people. Obama gets people, but he can’t solve problems. So, basically, which would you rather have?”
As I was bantering the choice back and forth in my mind, my sister says:
“I always thought we should have co-presidents. One person just cannot do that job, especially in four years. It needs two different people that complement each other.”
There! Problem solved. Next?
And so, as another day goes by, if only it were that simple, if only we could be heard – we might have something here, and….I have written.
July 18th, 2012 Today I didn’t want to write anything. The reason I didn’t want to write anything is because I spent most of the day reading something. Yoga was yoga. Again it was hot and humid, but for the second day in a row. I reigned in my mind, set my intention, and came through despite the weather. After a brief rest, my sister and I then proceeded to the beach and read the afternoon away. Around 3.30 we were chased from the beach by an impending thunderstorm. We got home, showered, poured wine, made a snack and receded even further into our books.
I’m reading Jodi Picoult’s newest, “Between the Lines”. Unlike “The Next Best Thing”, it’s the story in this book that has me mesmerized, not the title. The most interesting part happened even before I started the story. Picoult’s teenage daughter actually called her with the story idea and the two of them wrote it together over the course of two years.
The story idea the girl pitched to her mother is both original and ingenious. Picoult describes her daughter as a writer of stories since she was a young child. For a teenager to come up with such a unique idea for a book puts this girl in a class of her own and I can see a future on the best seller list for her.
Although the book is a young adult book, like Hunger Games, it holds my attention. It incorporates both the real and unreal in that very same way where you just feel the unreal can be real. It’s a fast read – great for the beach. I recommend it just for the fact to see what an amazing young person came up with, besides it being highly entertaining.
And so, as another day goes by, I need to get back to the world Between The Lines, and….I guess, I have written.
July 17th, 2012 Proven! Mind control is essential to a positive class. Today’s class was exactly like Friday. Same teacher, hot, humid morning, and…me getting nervous about a bad class. I remembered my experience Friday where my mind won and resolved not to repeat that fiasco. As soon I entered the studio I set my intention. I knew this class would be a slow pace in an extra uncomfortable room. My plan was to approach it with gentleness and utter stillness. Instead of the extra time between postures and in set-ups making me crazy, I resolved to use those extra seconds to rest and conserve energy.
It worked. I never felt overheated once and I didn’t sit out any postures. In fact, my stillness made me feel so good I felt like I danced my way through the 90 plus minutes. At the end, as I lay in savasana, I felt pretty proud of taking this by the horns and managing my mind so my body was able to perform and get what it needed.
My mind also got what it needed. It learned it doesn’t control me. Oh I may slip now and then, but I will remember how I set the intention for today’s class and executed it perfectly, never giving the mind a chance to interfere.
And so, as another day goes by, namaste, my incorrigible mind, you now know where you stand in the hot room, and…I have written.
July 16th, 2012 I’m reading “The Next Best Thing”, Jennifer Weiner’s newest book. While it’s a slow mover, it is a good story and keeps my interest because the main character is a writer – for TV. It was all very interesting to see how shows are written and then finally make it onto our TV screen, but it was the title of the book that piqued my interest.
The Next Best Thing. Isn’t that what makes life? Isn’t that what wakes us up each morning and gives lift and hope to our day? It is for me. Those of you who know me personally, know I am a glass half full type of person. Everything, even the baddest of the bad, has a good side. Even when I’m in the throws of a life crisis, I wake up each day with anticipation of “The Next Best Thing” that God has in mind for my life. I cannot even imagine waking up without hope.
Some ask me how I can feel hope in the midst of utter devastation. The answer is simple. My life is not my own. God is at the top of my pyramid and everyone and everything in my life is below him. There were times in my forty plus years of walking with the Lord that I veered off this course and worshipped a person or a thing. (By worship, I mean letting something become paramount in my life, negating everyone and everything else, including God). I don’t do this intentionally, but intentional or not, it happens and God must deal with it. That’s why, even in the eye of the hurricane, I look forward to the “The Next Best Thing”.
Once God breaks through to me, and I give him his rightful place at the top of the pyramid, my life turns around. “The Next Big Things” start coming fast and furious, and I always wonder why I didn’t give in sooner, but internal life changes take time.
One of my favorite Bible verses that I personalize everyday is Proverbs 16:3:
“Commit thy works unto the Lord and thy thoughts shall be established.”
I write it, every morning in my morning pages like this:
“Today Lord I commit all my words and works to you so you may establish my thoughts.”
That is the verse that got me through depression, and keeps my mind positive, even today. It’s the most “moving on” verse in the entire Bible. Having God establish your thoughts keeps your mind in a good place. It keeps you on the lookout for “The Next Best Thing” – aka – hope.
And so, as another day goes by, tonight my sister arrives for a week long visit and I’m sure this is “The Next Best Thing”, and….I have written.
Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way Everyday:
July 15th, 2012 I saw my first S’up a year ago at the end of Scorton Creek. I was intrigued. I can do that, I thought. In fact, I want to do that. This year there were five S’ups right on my beach two days ago. Now it’s to the point where I HAVE to do that. The last two nights just before falling asleep, I was feeling myself on the S’up. I felt my ab and leg muscles engage to stabilize it. I felt my biceps and triceps tighten as I swoop the paddle through the water.
S’up is short for Stand Up. It’s a board similar to a surfboard, with a stabilizing fin underneath. You stand on it like a surfboard, but you paddle it like a canoe. Out here they are all the rage and I see more and more of them everyday. I SO want to do this. It’s more than a bucket list item. It’s becoming an obsession.
The best part is the place that rents them is just down the road from us. Yesterday we stopped in and got all the info. It’s definitely doable. Today I’m on the beach, watching the tide go out, and thinking how great it’d be if I had my S’up here on the sand beside me, waiting for low tide. (This is something I’d only attempt on the sandbar in very shallow water.) To me, it beats kayaking hands down.
Life is a journey. Life is an adventure. Reaching out and touching it is what it’s all about.
And so, as another day goes by, “S’upping” is definitely in my future, and…I have written.
July 14th, 2012 Today was simply our day. We started out taking the lawn mower up to Dennis for service and the day picked up speed from there. Next we found ourselves at the Riverway Cafe for lunch. This is a very special place. The Riverway School in Sandwich is for high school students with disabilities. The Riverway Cafe is where they get their training for jobs and life after high school. I love going there and supporting the program. The students who wait on us, under the supervision of the best job coaches, are sweet and endearing. After lunch there, we visited the thrift shop also run by the school. Next we walked next door to find out about Sups. (tomorrow’s blog)
The day ended with a movie and dinner. The movie we saw was “Ted”. I didn’t think I’d like this movie because I usually don’t like animation and unrealistic characters. This was cleverly done and executed well. We laughed all the way through it. After the movie we tip toed across the parking lot to Tomatoes. We had pizza and wonderful homemade sangria. We are still sitting here reminiscing about our years of married life and enjoying that last drink.
I turned to my husband of 37 years and said, “Do you know how lucky we are to live here?”
He said, “Every time I turn the corner onto our street on Friday nights I feel that way.”
After 37 years, we have a lot to be thankful for. It’s the simple things around us that are the most important.
Ok, as much as I would love to hang around and philosophize some more, my husband just ordered the most decadent chocolate cheesecake you ever tasted and I’m all about digging into this happy ending.
And so, as another day goes by, life is just plain good – and mmm..I mean good, and …I have written.
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