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June 23rd, 2012 We all know our lives move in cycles and when we look back on our decades, we can delineate those periods in the cycles. Sometimes we learn we live to a pattern and may be able to anticipate the next change or phase. Today, in doing some “studying” for my business, I arrived at a cool new way to describe and better understand those cycles. It’s called the Four Room Apartment and we are always living in one of the rooms.
The first room is called Contentment. People living in this room are peaceful and content with their life just the way it is and at this particular time, desire no change. It’s a comfort zone that just feels really good.
The second room is called Denial. People in this room have imitations of discontentment, but are unwilling to face it and have fears about doing so. They will hang out here until they begin to see that things must change, they cannot go on like this anymore and they begin to move into the next room.
The third room is Confusion. Here they are confused, but are seeking answers. This is a scary, but at the same time an exciting place to be because after awhile, the light at the the end of the proverbial tunnel begins to appear, signaling a move to the fourth room.
The fourth room is Renewal. This is where people finally give up all they’ve been clinging to, are ready for change, and begin reinventing themselves, to eventually land back into room one.
Such is life. Such has been my life over the decades. I stopped to think about where I was all last year and where I am now. Last year was definitely spent in the Denial room for about six months, the Confusion room for another six, and this last six has certainly been spent in rhe Renewal room. Know what that means? It means contentment is in my future. But I’m not ready for it yet. I love the Renewal room. It’s furnished with people, places, books, and opportunities – all new and unfamiliar and I want to hang out here and take my time and explore each one. I may get some things wrong. It may take awhile to find the right answers and do things the right way. There’s still a lot I don’t know. One thing I am sure about though, is I’m not ready for stillness. I want to rock about on the choppy sea for awhile and test the waters and see where I wash ashore.
And so, as another day goes by, right now Renewal is my favorite room, and…I have written.
June 22nd, 2012 I have been doing Bikram yoga for 22 months now, five days a week. For 16 of those 22 months nothing was ever sore or ever hurt me between classes. In the last 6 months I have had issues with different muscles. Some days my glutes would hurt. Some days my chin, first one leg, then the other, would hurt. Some days my right or left calf would hurt. Lately it's been my lower back – hurt for a day or two, then go away. Now it's my right bicep that aches a bit. This struck me as strange.
Them one day in class the instructor unknowingly cleared it up for me. She said all our old injuries from our whole life never really go away. They just settle in the connective tissue of our muscles – the facia. (I didn't know I had facia). She went on to say that the longer you do Bikram on a daily basis, it will find those old injuries, resurrect them, and heal them. It means I'm going deeper and deeper in my muscles because my practice is so regular.
Here I thought I had it made because I can now breath normally through any class – even through these hot and humid ones this week. I had absolutely no trouble with breath or heart rate. Now I'm working deep in something called my facia. Who knew that, day by day, over the course of 22 months my yoga practice was resurrecting and healing old issues? The lower back one I sure do remember. I felt the pop when I was delivering my second child and suffered for years. I'm glad it's getting dealt with. The bicep one I hurt a long time ago trying to do crossfit at the gym. I'll be glad to get that one taken care of, too.
Day by day, when our noses are to the grindstone and it's hard and scary and uncomfortable and we absolutely cannot see the big picture, something is working mysteriously to heal us and move us to a better place. If your place right now doesn't feel so great, take heart – it's but a small piece in the big picture. It will be dealt with and healed almost without your knowing it.
And so, as another day goes by, yet again the hot room yields wisdom and understanding, and…I have written.
Below: Pic and Article ….
World's Largest Bikram yoga class hits time square….taught by Raj, Bikram's wife, in the red….
Largest Bikram Yoga Class
June 21st, 2012 It happened again, and I’m glad. This week two writer/blogger friends and I took a little field trip. One of them was a member of the Cotuit Center for the Arts and suggested we take our blog meeting on a little field trip to Wine and Music Night at the center. Wine and Music Night? Cotuit Center for the Arts? I had no idea we had one of these. We all arranged to meet there, so I asked her for the directions. The kicker? It’s about 20 minutes down the road from my house. Once again, something cool is right in my backyard and I had no idea. I live in one of the most saturated artist communities in the country, but I spend way too much time with my toes in the ocean. While I am thankful I have an ocean literally in my backyard, it’s time I took more advantage of the artist opportunities right in front of me.
I got there way early and they told me to come in out of the heat. I’m glad I went early. The band, Just Plain Folk, was just setting up and I got to hear them loud and clear with no one else in the room. Rocky Mountain High brought back memories. Then I perused the art collection on display. It was the art of Jon Freidman. He does commissioned oil portraits of people over 55 leaving their professions. I swear if I touched the skin on their faces it would move. He had a few of his family there, too, and I thought the most interesting person was his wife, pictured below, in a portrait he called “Surfing”. Having dabbled in drawing and painting of the most primitive nature, I’m always blown away by the work of an accomplished artist because I can imagine what it took to to produce work like that. In the portrait of his wife below, I am amazed how he achieved the clear glasses. Also below, is a picture of the whole venue. The sails on the ceiling are awesome. It was a night of music, wine and cheese, art, and the company of two good friends.
And so, as another day goes by, as Taylor Swift says, I have to “keep my eyes wide open” because it’s so easy to miss good things that inspire and nourish and are right in front of me, and…I have written.
June 20th, 2012 Today the online women’s magazine, Cape Women Online, featured an article on my author and friend, Joan Walsh, the founder of the Cape Cod Children’s Writer’s group that I belong to. A year ago she was working very hard to get her book, Cape Cod Memory Makers Explore the Town of Falmouth, published. I stand in awe of Joan for never giving up. She got her book written, illustrated, and now, published. A huge investment of time, money, and painstaking work. Now, one year later, it sits on the bookshelves of many area stores.
via capecodchildrenswriters.com
June 19th, 2012 I used to subscribe to a blog called Keitharsis. It was by a writer named Keith Jennings. I was drawn to it because of his general philosophy on creativity. It was a great approach to not only art and writing, but just a great philosophy of life, too.
The part that attracted me was on balance. You always hear “live a balanced life”, “everything in moderation”. As much as I’ve tried over the years to do that, it always seems something somewhere goes out of wack and upsets my balance. Also, I’ve always found it a lot of work to keep all those ducks afloat and in a row.
When I came across Keith’s philosophy I sort of embraced it and found it a much more natural and peaceful way to approach not only my writing, but life in general. He has since discontinued his blog, but he puts out a monthly newsletter called “Root Notes” instead. In this months letter he restated his philosophy for new readers and I thought it was a great chance to share it with all of you. This time I’m writing it down and hanging it up where I can refer to it often. Here it is:
1. You cannot sustain balance in your life. But you can sustain harmony.
Every chord, every song, has a root note. So does your life, whether you accept this or not. Rather than try to please everyone and do everything perfectly, you must choose a root note and arrange everything else in your life around it in a beautiful harmony.
This means the root note of your life probably isn’t you. It’s something bigger. Something you serve. Something around which you align your life.
2. Life is not a path. It’s a portfolio.
We’re trying to live linear lives in a nonlinear world. As poetic as “the path” sounds, it’s just not true. Our lives are a collection of paths. Of people. Of personas. Of projects.
Our life’s beauty lies not in a single “right” direction, but in its collection, complexities, textures and tones.
3. Being an artist is not an act of self-expression. It’s an act of connection.
Expression is the adolescent phase of a creative life. Connection is the adult phase.
As artists, we collect and connect things: ideas, images, materials, subjects, motifs, etc. Our creativity lies in how we arrange and connect these disparate pieces. And how each collection connects with others.
So there you go. Root note. Portfolio. Connection. A different way to approach our days.
And so, as another day goes by, I tend to think of my life as a collage, arranged around my “root note” – God, and…I have written.
June 18th, 2012 Today I was supposed to drive back to the cape. My husband was out there this weekend and I was in NY. We were going to meet halfway for lunch. I woke up with one of those feelings that I should stay. This has happened to me quite a few Monday mornings over the last few years when I was supposed to drive home on Monday. I elected to stay and be here tonight when my husband got home. Just felt such a need for connection and catching up.
Good decision. We went out for dinner and had a great evening at the local sports bar. We talked about all that happened in our weekend apart. He told me about the gardening he did at the Capehouse, the car show he attended, work, and conversations with people important in our life. I told him about my business training, the experience I had with my first few customers, and the time I had yesterday with my dad and my family.
How funny. The same theme kept appearing in our conversation. Whether we were talking about careers, relationships, or hobbies, the best way to approach all of them had the same theme – easy does it, slow and steady wins the race. My brothers told me that’s how they were approaching their businesses, my sister told me that’s how she was approaching a diet/lifestyle change, my dad told me that’s how he was approaching a possible move – my whole family seems to be embracing that concept.
Tonight in the restaurant I got up to go to the restroom and a sign caught my eye. It talked about an individual being good at something wins the game, but it’s teamwork that wins championships. Teamwork. Not being the best, but being helpful and cooperating for the greater good.
That’s what I love about my new business. It’s only going to work with that attitude. It’s not about competition. It’s about helping and lifting each other up and we’ll all win. Not a bad way to approach life. Slow down. Take it one day at a time. Help each other.
Tonight we took the MG to go to dinner, then we went riding around the back roads of the town we grew up in with the top down. I just found myself thanking God for my life and all the positive changes in it since I surrendered it all to Him. Miraculous. My brother, as it turns out, told me the same thing yesterday.
When you REALLY give up all control, the changes are amazing. Over the last eight weeks since I REALLY did it – not just said it – but wake up every morning having DONE it – my careers, finances and relationships have undergone miraculous changes. Things are not quite done yet in each area, but just putting down the gloves, not fighting, and giving everything the time it takes to have real change occur, feels so good.
And so, as another day goes by, I love going to bed and waking up knowing I don’t have to do it all anymore, and…I have written.
June 17th, 2012 Today I woke up to my dear friend’s post on Facebook :
“Blessed to get to spend this day with three amazing dads….my Dad, hubby, and father-in-law…love them all! Happy Father’s Day everyone!”
This is the first Father’s Day I am not with my husband or children, but I’m in NY with my dad, and on this day there is no other place I’d rather be. Last night we sat out in the garage patio and talked for hours. Today my brothers and sisters are joining us for Dad’s favorite – pizza and wings. I’m so looking forward to an afternoon of hanging out with this family I haven’t seen since Xmas.
Thank you Stacey for warming my heart with blessings through your post as soon as I woke up. I hope everyone enjoys their day with their dads or someone who was like a dad to you.
And so, as another day goes by, it’s another “first” holiday away from loved ones, but life is about growing and changing and accepting, and today I simply give gratitude that I can be here in NY with my own dad….miss you hubby and girls, and…I have written.
June 16th, 2012 Today was my new job training in Connecticut. The presenters were all successful people in the business and each told the steps I needed to do to succeed in this business. They did a great job and were very motivating. The presentation was, once again, the same one that I saw online last week. At first I thought I was wasting my time driving all the way to Connecticut and back again to just hear the exact same thing, by the exact same people I saw do it online last week.
Then I remembered something the trainer said in one of the live conference calls I listened to last week. He said you had to hear the same thing over and over again so you had the skills when you needed them. Then I thought back to teaching. To learn anything so that it’s an automatic response, you need 1500 repetitions. I tend to think this is where most people fail in this business. You need to put in the time to learn, to an automatic level, what you need to know to succeed. So many people rush out without taking part in thorough training, fail, then blame the business.
As I listen and learn and move slowly, I see that although this is a great concept and saves people money, it’s not a get rich quick scheme. It’s a job. It involves time and attention. You have to really WANT to do it. It has to occur at a time in your life when you really want to make a change. You have to be willing to study and teach yourself, just like writing and publishing a book.
Haha! Guess what? I just described myself. Guess I’m getting involved in the right business, at the right time.
And so, as another day goes by, I commit to doing it right and I accept the challenge to make this work, and….I have written.
June 15th, 2012 Breakfast in the hotel turned out to be a buffet for $12.95. Anyone who knows me, knows I’d never eat $12 worth of food. But I had to make this work because I’m not paying $12 for a bowl of oatmeal. I stayed here for an hour and a half. I started with the oatmeal, made my way through scrambled eggs and bacon, and topped it off with a yogurt parfait. My mission was to eat enough to keep myself happy until dinner time. Mission accomplished. (It was a huge buffet, with great things, and they did cook your eggs to order, avoiding the luke warm scrambled egg tray.)
As I ate, I contemplated the quiet, flat feeling I felt waking up this morning. This just isn’t me on the verge of tackling something new. Usually I’m much more animated and jumping with excitement. In my time with God this morning, I asked him about this. He just looked at me with that look he always gives me and said, “Don’t you remember what you asked me to do yesterday?”
“No, God, I’m just trying to eat a lot of food and remember where the parking garage is.”
I opened my morning meditations on my kindle, and it was still on yesterday’s page. I had highlighted the following in Julia Cameron’s “The Artists Way Everyday”:
“Another words, it’s time for that 12-step adage, “Easy does it”, because the truth is, easy DOES do it, and forced, frantic, and frenetic does not.”
Ah..ha…yesterday I asked God to slow me down with this new business adventure and plan to publish my book. I asked him to make me listen more and talk less. (Those who know me personally know what huge undertaking that is for me – especially when I passionately believe in something.)
I now realize he just answered my prayer. When the friends I was with last night were talking about being here and feeding off of everyone else’s excitement, I wasn’t feeling it. I had done a lot of my own training online last week and this was basically a review of it all. I had enough excitement of my own, all alone at home during the week, because I found something I truly believed in and I didn’t need to ride the wave with others.
This is so uncharacteristic of me, that this morning it felt funny to be so calm. Until I opened that meditation and remembered what I asked of God yesterday. Thinking back to my experience with several other people last night, I did remain calm. I did listen more and talk way less. My friend wanted to get a picture of us with owner of the company. For some reason, that didn’t matter to me, but I went along with her because I didn’t want to ruin her excitement. (She’s been in this business awhile and does really well, so maybe I’m just not “there yet”.)
Anyway, now, the morning after, I realize two things happened. One, God simply answered my prayer from the day before, and two, the best way to approach a new, huge thing is with a clear head, moving slowly and learning step by step along the way. How many times have I raced ahead, carried by exuberance, and missed key concepts and skipped necessary steps, only to realize it and have to backtrack? Yesterday I decided “not this time” and prayed for quiet wisdom. Only trouble is, when I got it, I didn’t know what to do with it!
And so, as another day goes by, I’ll thank God for answering my prayer, ask him to show me where my car is, try on my new sense of “quiet wisdom” and…I have written. (And, oh, there’s a fitness room – might not be a bad idea before I search for that car,)
Photo: My friend Karen and I with Chris Chambliss, CEO of the company. Thank you, Karen, you’ve been a great support system in my new adventure. I hope I can do the same for other new consultants.
June 14th, 2012 Today is fun. I’m glad I can make that statement. I left the cape this afternoon for a weekend away. I’m in Worcester right now for job training tonight. Tomorrow I go to NY to see my dad. Saturday it’s off to Connecticut for training in opening up our business in Connecticut and Massachusetts, then back to NY for Father’s Day, and Monday back to the cape. I’m loving it. Such a different lifestyle than I’m used to! Lol!
My business meeting is in the DCU center in Worcester and my hotel is literally 50 feet away. Getting here, I got turned around on some one way streets, but low n behold, by the grace of my loving God, my hotel appeared. I was so happy to pull into a parking space and leave that car there until tomorrow. My room is gorgeous. There’s an Uno’s in my hotel! (Hear that CCWC friends – I’m at home! Lol!) I’m safely ensconced at the bar with wine and pizza and couldn’t be happier. My friends from NY will be arriving soon, and my bartender, Alyssa, is awesome.
Later…..
The business presentation was as amazing as the pizza. I just sat there and thought how this business is a no-brainer. Within a few years, I can change my life. Soon I’ll be ready to share it with you. I want my Massachusetts readers to be able to partake, so I’m waiting until our state is opened. This is a business that I’ve always dreamed about having – no selling – just helping people and getting to teach, too. Tonight I met the co-founders and it’s truly amazing what they have done – and all on the premise of helping others.
Doing something new and stepping out of your comfort zone is both frightening and exhilarating at the same time.
And so, as another day goes by, business girl is a new side of me that I’m just getting to know, and…I have written.
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