I’m reading a book suggested to me by my daughter, Erin. It’s called The Book Of Awakening by Mark Nepo. It’s a daily meditation book from Oprah’s book list.
Yesterday’s passage dealt with pearl divers. This one little excerpt illustrates what REAL friendship is all about. The title was We Must Take Turns. Sounds like what we all learned in kindergarten doesn’t it? And yet, here we are all grown up and still working on it. If you have a friendship that is built on good intentions and are a “fixer” like me, you will deeply appreciate this. It has brought me much comfort and clarity in loving and supporting those close to me.
“We must take turns
diving into all there is
and counting time. “
“The gift and responsibility of relationship is to take turns doing the dishes and putting up the storm windows, giving the other the chance to dive for God without worrying about dinner. While one explores the inner, the other must tend the outer.” (I believe today we call this “giving each other space”, but I have never seen it so poignantly explained as in this passage – and so helpful to “fixers”, like me)
“A great model of this is how pearl divers search the deep in pairs. Without scuba divers or regulators, one waits at the surface tending the lines tied to the other who soft steps the sand searching for treasures he hopes he’ll recognize.
He walks the bottom watching the leaves of vegetation sway and sways himself until she tugs the chord. He swallows the little air left as he ascends. Aboard they talk for hours about what was seen, rubbing the rough and natural pearl. In the morning, she dives and fills their baskets, and he counts the time, hands wrapped around her line.
Quite plainly these pearl divers show us the of work of being together and the miracle of trust. We must take turns, whoever is on the surface must count the airtime left, so the one who is below can dive freely.”
I promise, as an impatient “fixer” to stop trying to make it better. I promise to give my loved ones the gift of time they need to dive freely. I will stand holding the line and counting the time, hoping they feel the trust and safety to be found in our relationship.
And so, as another day goes by, I have realized things that are right and true grow over time and I must put in my time, and…. I have written.
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