Positive Gauntlets

October 2nd, 2011

I know. How could gauntlets be positive? Work to the good for us?

Well, after I finished reading yesterday’s meditation, embarking on a month of facing challenges, I was truly energized by the rest of the piece, and just have to share the final words with you:

“Remember, it takes heat and pressure to turn carbon into diamonds. The pressure of challenges is what shapes and forms us.
Value: This week we’ll explore the value of a genuine rise-to-the-occasion, feet-to-the-fire, step-up-to-the-plate challenge.”

I still can’t believe this was the next set of lessons in the book, appearing at precisely the moment I discovered them myself, right in my own life. Throughout my journey, I have always kept the faith by knowing deep down that anything worth having, has to be worked for – paid for in blood, sweat, and oh so many tears. Any real relationship must be honed and bent in the fire to fit exactly those involved. And when you walk through the fire together, and come out the other side, you are changed dramatically for the better of all involved.

Many times we are not willing to do the work. Why? FEAR! The fear of trusting someone to hold our heart, to never act in a way that might harm us. The ironic part of this? You can’t ever have a real, true, relationship without getting the rug pulled out from under you. The irony resides rug-pulling, because that’s where the work takes place. Some of us cannot see past that and continue on in the relationship, honing it and learning about each others wants and needs – walking through the fire, building something that transcends trust. We get hurt. Quit right there. Move on to the next one. It turns into an empty, searching existence. We keep looking for that anchor, that something to fulfill that inner longing, but we’re unwilling to do the work it takes to achieve it.

I have always been an optimist. My glass is always half full. Even the darkest clouds in my world have silver linings. I can make the best lemonade out of sour lemons in my path. I don’t give up when I get hurt. If the relationship was worth going that far for, I’ll deal with my hurt and proceed into the fire. If the other person comes with me, we’ll have something real and beautiful when we reach the other side, burnt and ash covered – but smiling through the tears.

How do I know this? I first learned it in my family. My dad and mom would never turn their backs on one of their children, no matter what. Then I learned it through 36 years of marriage. If one of us had bolted at the first “rug pulling” we, and our girls wouldn’t be here today. Now I, as a parent, have always practiced this with my girls, hopefully instilling in them the courage not to run at the first real hurt. Give the person a chance to come back to you, holding their heart back out to you. If they do this in all sincerity, and you know deep down they are a good person, take their hand and go – face the fires. (I say all this barring abusive, dangerous people – with them the red flag would’ve been up before you even got to this point)
When the work is done, a beautiful thing will be born.

And so, as another day goes by, important things take work and commitment, and…I have written.