The new book, The Secret Lives of Wives by Iris Krasnow, is making it’s way around the talk show circuit. Today the author was on The Talk just as my husband walked in from work. Ms. Krasnow was making the statement “today women don’t need a man. We have sperm banks….” My husband took great exception to the comment. I explained who she was and what the book was about. I told him this author interviewed a lot of women who have been married 20 plus years and asked them what made their long term marriage possible. He listened to a bit more of her on the show while changing his clothes and had more to offer on the man’s point of view. I, of course, had way more to offer on the women’s point of view. We headed out the door to do some shopping and our discussion lasted all the way to the mall. We arrived at the mall, busied ourselves with our errands and came back outside to a driving blizzard. Instead of eating out, we decided to make a quick stop to the grocery store, grab some wine, and go home to cozy up and eat by the fire.
As I’m writing this, my husband is busy cooking the dinner. On the drive home I contemplated the whole scenario above, along with the book. I thought about the three hours we just spent together doing mundane things, but how much we still enjoyed being together. Now I ask myself the same question the author was asking the women in her book. We have been married 36 years. A trip to the mall and grocery store on a Friday night is still enjoyable to both of us. How is that?
It’s simple. We LIKE each other. We find each other interesting. We really like talking to each other. Even a trip to the mall is enjoyable after being apart all day. After 36 years, we are still each other’s favorite person to talk to at the end of the day. We respect each others opinions and agree to disagree.
During the ride I shared my reasons for our lengthy marriage with my husband and told him we should write a book on this topic together and include both the male and female points of view. He just looked at me, and then said, “Oh look at what they’re doing down there”, pointing to the heavy equipment still fixing storm damage in the Mohawk River. I asked him what he would say was responsible for our 36 years together. He replied, “Novocain.” We both dissolved in laughter and knew I was right.
And so, as another day goes by, the book is downloading as we speak, and …I have written.
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