In today’s morning mediation it was communicated that whenever the sense of urgency strikes, unless someone is being harmed, it is most likely a signal to to do the opposite – slow down and quiet yourself. Emotions are what sets off this sense of urgency within us. Both anger and love alike set urgency in motion, and most things we do in response to it are not always the best for the situation.
I am perhaps the biggest victim of urgency. When a thought incites an emotional reaction within me, it is “urgent” to me to to let the object of that thought and emotion know it – whether it be love, anger, fear, sadness, etc. it always feels like something bad or something good will happen if I just “let them know” in time.
Alcohol, for me, heightens my sense of urgency when it strikes. Under the influence of alcohol the ability to quiet oneself is almost non-existent. In watching the show Glee last night, where the focus was alcohol awareness in the high school, I had a startling revelation. Children as young as high school age already know the “types of drunks” there are, something that can only be gained through experience with alcohol. It was made out to be extraordinary that Rachel had never taken a drink and her experienced friends were going to educate her in drinking. They helped her have a party and proceeded to raid her fathers liquor cabinet and get drunk. One friend sat with Rachel and pointed out the different “drunken personalities” now present around the room. A teacher had also gone out and gotten very drunk that night. The result was a very embarrassing day in school on Monday for both the students and the teacher.
The show did a very good job showing the power alcohol takes away from us. Usually people take a drink or two to loosen up and gain power to do things they are normally too inhibited to do. In reality, drinking zaps your power. As was illustrated in the show, the power for quelling the sense of urgency is rendered useless. It is impossible, as we all know, to make clear decisions while under the influence, but I never equated it with power being taken away against your will, leading to the obvious dangers of alcohol use. Kudos to Glee.
I asked myself why the obvious had such an impact on me. I was, in a sense, like Rachel, now, at MY age. I hadn’t had a drink until I was over 50 years old and had absolutely no experience with alcohol. I also had no idea the experience my own teens had already had with alcohol. To me, this is not a good thing. I am only now realizing, like they were teaching Rachel, that there are “drinking personalities” and now have I enough experience to evaluate mine. I am a “sensitive drunk” and I get my feelings hurt easily when I go past that one too many glass of wine. Then I run and hide. Needless to say, at parties, if I’m not careful, I spend an awful lot of time by myself. Now I know why and can take steps to recognize when that “fight or flight feeling” strikes.
It just seemed alarming to me that I am just now, at my age, putting this “drinking thing” together, yet teens were teaching it on tv. I always said we’re never too old to learn.
Yesterday I did not publish a blog, although I did write a few. I was unknowingly quelling my sense of urgency and quieting myself by not being so quick to push that publish key. Imagine my surprise when today’s meditation explained my absence of a blog. This is a good thing. Quelling the urgency and quieting oneself are not things learned overnight. It has taken me many weeks to arrive here. The key to learning this is taking the time to actually spend some time with yourself and figure out “how you work” and compose your own owner’s manual. (My husband has been asking for one since high school.)
And so, as another day goes by, an owners manual is in the making, and….I have written.
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