Today I had a particularly hard yoga class. The humidity is creeping back and I felt it. My breath started to head to panic attack mode. I didn’t think I could lie still for one more second, and I even took an unheard of sip of water between the two sets of rabbit pose. I remembered everything I learned about this type of control in dealing with anger and told myself this is how anger takes over the mind and body and I have to remain still. I did it, and after a long savasana at the end, went and sat out on the porch for a few minutes. It felt good to finally be able to do this after a long rainy winter.
Then I got in my car and as I was driving to the pharmacy, I suddenly realized that today I was very tired of praying for things like strength, fortitude, letting go, tolerance, wisdom, patience, understanding, trusting, faith, hope, etc; not to mention all the needs of my friends I pray for daily. All of this type of prayer just seemed like too much work today. So instead, I prayed just a simple little prayer:
“God, today, take care of me”
And you know what? Within minutes He did just that! For two years I have been looking for a nail place here in my town. After going to the pharmacy, I found myself going into one, it was perfect, and I have an appointment for a manicure/pedicure tomorrow. Then I drove home and the sun was out, it was warm and I used the outside shower for the first time this year. That was luxurious. It was lunchtime and I desperately wanted chicken soup and I just knew there was no more left, when there, in the very back of the freezer sat one more package. I never knew frozen soup could elicit such ecstasy. Next, the sun stayed out long enough for me to sit in my garden and write this, enjoying a quiet moment in my own backyard. Now, after The Talk and a nap, I think I can take over and resume responsibility for myself and let God get on to more important things.
Sometimes it’s okay to just stop trying. Just for a little while. Today I give gratitude for simple, little things that make such a big difference.
And so, as another day goes by, I’m beginning to feel better, and …I have written.
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