Tolerance is something I blogged about early in the first year of this blog. I have a small banner hanging in my serenity room with the Dalai Lama’s definition of tolerance on it. The thing I like most about this definition is the part where it says people who practice this sleep well at night.
Sleeping well at night, with nothing to feel guilty about or nothing to sit up until all hours of the morning fearing or worrying about, is, to me, one the greatest gifts of life. To lie down at night with a clear conscience, knowing that all the choices I have made err on the side of doing what’s right. At times, my choices were wrong, very wrong, and led to harsh consequences. But even during the suffering of those consequences, I could rest in the knowledge that although my choice turned out to be the wrong one, it was never intended that way.
In knowing this, I practice tolerance of myself and my ways. Tolerating myself and my ways is the only true way to learn tolerance of others and their sometimes eccentric and seemingly weird ways of doing life. The way we do life comes from the background within which we grow up living it. No two people, even brothers or sisters, grow up experiencing life exactly the same way, even in the same house, with the same parents. Realizing this is the first step to tolerating in others that which is different from ourselves and the way we operate.
Through the course of this blog I have been led to examine a lot different people and beliefs. Over these past two years I have come a long way in learning to step aside and accept people’s differences, and then, the best part? Instead of just tolerating people’s eccentricities, I’ve come to celebrate them.
Tolerance is a big part of being a happy person. There is a lot of freedom in genuine tolerance of yourself and your humanness. There is even more happiness and freedom in being able to stand back and let our children, our parents, our siblings, our co-workers, our friends, etc. live their lives and believe their beliefs without fretting that “they should do it our way”.
Tolerance does not, however, mean tolerating abusive or destructive behaviors toward others or ourselves.
“Practice healthy, loving tolerance of ourselves, said one man. When we do, we’ll learn tolerance for others. Then take it one step further. Learn that all humanness we’re tolerating is what makes ourselves and others beautiful.”
~ Melody Beattie
And so, as another day goes by, these weeks before a major election is a good time to revisit tolerance, a good time to reread the banner on my wall, a good time to appreciate a good night’s sleep, and ….I have written.
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