I have two friends who are the friends everyone wishes they had. In any relationship, it’s how we react to the hard times that matter the most. The good times are just that- warm n fuzzy n happy – and oh so easy to experience, but when it starts raining, and everyone is running for cover, my two friends always have the biggest umbrellas.
These two friends always run and support me for the usual mishaps in life – health problems, family problems, etc. as do most people in my life, but what makes these two friends special is that they do the thing that most people are too afraid to do. They save me from myself, and they do it in completely opposite ways. One friend can’t hold back. When she sees me spinning out of control, she just grabs me by the shirt collar and let’s me have it. A knock upside the head, so to speak, stops me in my tracks, makes me step back and say “hey”, and slowly make my way back into my orbit. The other friend is much gentler, but she also packs a wallop in her own way. First she let’s me know I’m on a road to destruction by asking “What’s with you lately?” and she gives me chance to step back and realize it. If I don’t, and I persist down my destructive course, she just refuses to talk to me. She sends me to an ashram in my head somewhere to go figure it out. (It’s a good thing I have the other friend to give me a hint of what I’m working on or I’d spend an awful lot of time on my knees chanting prayers).
I need both of them. One slams me up against the wall and forces me to gain clarity quickly so I can begin work immediately on what ails me. The other one makes me go on an inward journey to find my way back to my center without anyone holding my hand. Both of them make me a better person. Both of them make me refocus my attention off of ME and clear the path for me to see the needs of others and be of help to THEM. Both of them require me to be strong. Neither one will put up with a temper tantrum – and they do this because they love me and want me to be the best person I can possibly be – not to hurt me or reject me.
There’s no greater gift than friends who get in your face for your own good instead of just smiling and pretending you’re great. The fun times together are made possible by the tough times that continually push us to be better than we ever thought we could be. The fun times are deeper and sweeter because we know we are spending our time with people who genuinely care.
Step back and take a look at your friends. Maybe the one who you think is always being mean to you, loves you the most. I say this because for most of my life, outside my family, I had no friends like these two. I could say this one and that one is “my best friend”, but in reality I had no clue of what a best friend was. If one was staring me in the face I probably wouldn’t have known it. I was so fearful of rejection and not appearing perfect, that the first sign someone was probably trying to point out I didn’t have to be, I called them “mean” in my mind and mentally walked away from them, regaling them to acquaintances that smiled and pretended I was great. A lifetime of walking away from people did do one good thing. It put me in real touch with God. When my heartaches were within my family, I had nowhere to go but up. This was a good thing, but after awhile, for my own good, God even got tired of my weaknesses and He sent me out into the world to make new friends. (Actually He dropped them into my life, refused to let me leave them when I felt rejection, and made me suck it up and stick out the ride).
These two friends have taught me trust when the chips were down, taught me the responsibility on my part a friendship of this caliber takes, and most of all, they taught me how to get out of my own way so I could move forward in life.
I genuinely and truly love them and I hope, you too, are blessed with friends such as these, in your life. If you think not, just look around – I bet they’re there.
And so, as another day goes by, I sing as we used to sing in kindergarten “Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold” – these two are definitely my gold, and ….I have written.
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