When I am in camel pose, I feel strong and invincible. It’s when it’s over and I collapse on the mat for savasana that the fear creeps in, leading to the urgency to hurry up and do something, like run out of the room. My heart is beating rapidly and panic sets in. I knew, with the onset of spring and the rise in humidity this was going to become a challenge again, much as it was when I began in the fall. Back then, my main intention was to conquer this so I could just stay in the room. Now, five months later, I KNOW I’m staying in the room, now it’s time to shift the focus of my intention.
Fear and urgency are involuntary reactions that overwhelm us without warning, so how was savasana after camel, going to help me gain control over them? I started thinking about how my body physically flops into many of the yoga poses throughout the day, involuntarily. This has come about through putting my body through those positions, consistently each day. What was voluntary in class, has become involuntary outside of class. My thinking is, if I work hard enough on conquering my breath after camel and mastering the mind control to slow and calm my heart, consistently each day, when fear and urgency overtake me outside of the studio that very same mind control will also kick in involuntarily, much the same way the physical poses do.
Imagine – when that hot-fire of fear and/or anger overtake you, you feel weak and tingly, the urgency to run kicks in, and panic becomes your MO – your mind suddenly flips a switch, your breathing becomes regular, and you regain control of your feelings and reactions without even having g to think about it. This is my ultimate yoga goal.
How many times have we been caught off guard with hurt, anger, and disappointment and reacted badly, making the situation worse, because we lacked mind control? I know I have and regretted many things over the years that I have said or done. Having involuntary mind control take over and bring you back to reality in these situations, quickly dispelling that hot-fire feeling, would be like having this secret weapon that automatically kicks in. Learning to face your fears with “smart skill” instead of collapsing and running from them can’t help but make life just a bit more easier to negotiate.
There definitely is something to the theory of training your mind and body consistently each day INSIDE the studio, and have that translate to subconscious behavior OUTSIDE the studio.
And so, as another day goes by, I have my springtime goal cut out for me, and …I have written.
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